This is female privilege, and women fully intend to keep this one. Fair enough, but men will be keeping a few of their privileges, too.

This is going to be a tricky conversation to navigate, today, but what the hell – since when have we ever shied away from tricky conversations?

First up, prepared to be enraged.  It’s the correct response, at least at the outset.  Way back in 2007, Jezebel ran a post called Have You Ever Beat Up A Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have, and it is enlightening, to say the least.

According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women. So basically that means that girls are beating up their BFs and husbands and the dudes aren’t fighting back.

http://jezebel.com/294383/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have

The fact that women are just as prone to domestic violence as men is a no-brainer, and it’s not what I want to talk about.  AVfM covers the topic with much more depth and gravitas than I could ever hope to replicate, and you can go and take a look at the relevant findings here:

http://www.avoiceformen.com/tag/domestic-violence/

The first thing I would like to talk about is what does domestic violence look like when women are the perpetrators?  There is a big difference between a slap and a punch, and an even bigger difference between taking a punch from a 120 lb woman and a 320 lb man.

Savannah Marshall

Right?

I mean, it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?  Violence from women just isn’t of the same magnitude as violence from a man.  You might charge a teenager with punching you, but you wouldn’t charge a four year old, because they just can’t inflict any real damage.

Let’s take a look at that assumption:  violence from women isn’t as physically bad as violence from men.

All these comments are taken directly from the Jezebel article.

weavingissexy

I once dated an alcoholic (rite of passage for all good little girls) who came over drunk and got in my face. I punched him hard enough to knock him on his ass. After I dumped him, he served me with a restraining order, which I proudly showed off to all his friends. Stupid wimp.

maryrules

When I was in high school I slapped my bf hard enough to give him a bloody nose. In front of his friends. He told me my band was “cute,” so I obviously had no choice.

SPARKLE

I got into a lovely wrestling match with a boyfriend once. We were drunk and he was taunting me, but I didn’t want to actually hurt him so I let him win. And I used to wrestle with the boyfriend after that all the time. It was fun and playful at first, but things started to get angry. Like that one time when he lifted me up and dropped on his carpeted concrete floor… flat on my back.

Yeah, that wasn’t fun. I screamed bloody murder which scared the shit out of him, and then got up and punched whatever shit was left out of him. He became mildly terrified of me after that.

I haven’t wrestled the recent boyfriend yet, but I did learn that yelling and arguing really loudly and scarily like I do (thanks, dad!) scares him enough to win any argument. :)

Bugis

Despite the fact that my boyfriend outweighed me by fifty pounds, was eight inches taller (giving him a longer reach), and was going to Kung-fu classes three times a week I beat the shit out of him. I punched him repeatedly in the stomach and once I had him cornered I threw him across the room by his penis (I hadn’t previously known that was physically possible).

brassinpocket

My last boyfriend crossed the line (showing up drunk, refusing to leave my place) so I beat the piss out of him with, unfortunately, my favorite umbrella. I am very embarrassed by it, it went too far.

warriorette

First of all i had too much to drink. Second of all things had just seemed different with my boy lately. Third he wasn’t answering his phone. Fourth, his friend told me that he didn’t want to be with me and he was at home with another girl.

So i jumped into a cab with no money. Ran out at a red light. Used my set of keys to get into his appartment. Confronted him. Slapped his glasses off his face. Bite him repeated so hard that he imediately bruised. Got out a kitchen knife. He threatened to call the cops on me and i called his bluff knowing he had too much blow in his appartment to want to bring cops in. He threw out all my shit and called my roommate to come get me.          11/21/07 3:52pm

ThaKadinskyPapers

I slapped him on his birthday, for telling me something I asked him to tell me in the first place – and then a whole bunch of other shit happened (why didn’t I see this informal survey?)

I still feel bad about it….               8/28/07 6:55pm

azi

When I was 17 I was fighting with my boyfriend in the car and he put the car into neutral (from drive) when I wasn’t looking. I punched him dead in the face and have regretted it ever since. More recently a male friend of mine, while in the throes mind you, told me he liked me, “but only with a small l”. I bit him so hard he had a mark for a week. And it wasn’t because I was so turned on. I regretted it again (I am a well of regret) but I have to say I think he may have had it coming.                8/28/07 7:07pm

whoneedslight

A boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy on the sofa and there was nudity… he whips out his cell phone to start shooting VIDEO.

He got a hard slap to the face. I feel like that is justified, not abuse, right? 8/28/07 7:08pm

Trixie from Toronto

I posted this somewhere else once, and it stopped the thread dead in its tracks, and I feared everyone thought I was psycho. But when my husband announced he didn’t love me anymore the morning after initiating passionate sex with me and telling me how much he loved me, I hurled a plastic laundry hamper at his head, bit him when he wouldn’t let me see who he was furtively texting on his Blackberry, and whipped him once with his leather belt.

I am ashamed to say that I am proud of myself given I then came down with an STD passed along to me from this douchebag via his slutbag girlfriend. 8/28/07 8:55pm

builderbyday

i too dated a pussy-ass alky, who tried to shove me around one drunken night. i kicked his ass, then promptly broke up with him. not only because he was a drunk but because i’m only 5’4″ and 101 lbs., and i don’t want a man who ass I can kick. 8/28/07 10:51pm

hamburgerhotdog

1) I punched him in the face when he showed up to my birthday party with another girl…a week after we broke up.

2) I threw his cellphone at his stupid ugly head for being a cheating asshole texting another woman from my house. Unfortunately for him, my aim is true, not once, but twice.

Fuck them both, I’d do it again many times over.               8/28/07 11:42pm

LeDee

I tried to run one of my ex’s over with my car. After the gazillion fight that week, I was so sick of him. He walked out mid scream of mine, so I got in my car and went after him. The neighbor’s yard fell victim to my wrath, unfortunately. And the poor woman was there gardening. She never said anything to me though. Wonder why HAHAHAHA      8/29/07 11:38am

Yanee

Never hit a guy I was dating, but I drunkenly slapped some dude on the street the other night for yelling, “Are those store bought or real?”               8/28/07 7:02pm

groupie

I slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it. 8/28/07 7:50pm

scorpiojamie

I think every man I have been with has received a slap from me. Every single one deserved it, says alot about my taste in men!     8/28/07 9:06pm

kwindsorfish

I bounced an alarm clock off my husband’s head from across the room once. I haven’t been able to find a decent alarm clock since. Karma’s a bitch.         8/29/07 9:22am

wring

i’ve slapped a man and it felt good. better than the time i threw an ipod box to his face (the corner got his eye).               8/29/07 3:06pm

Well, holy shit!  These comments are from supposedly self-aware feminists who would never accept a single justification for any man beating the crap out of any woman, but the glee is just so self-evident, isn’t it?

How does all the above pertain to the original question:  is violence different when it comes to women dishing it out?  In some cases, nope.  Not at all.  Trying to run someone over with a car is pretty gender neutral.  Not much some extra physical strength is gonna do for you when you’re up against a Cadillac.

But the rest of it?

The only reason these women can recount their stories with such diabolical delight is because the man didn’t fight back.  Oh sure, there might be one or two cases of a woman who was just straight-up stronger than the man in question, but given women’s continued preferences for men who are bigger than they are, it’s not fucking likely.

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/relationships/size-matters-majority-of-women-find-tall-men-sexier-297925.html

All these women who so proudly claim they “beat the shit out of a man”?  Uhm, no you didn’t.  You beat the shit out of someone who didn’t fight back.  Kind of like claiming you are an undefeated ass-kicking  champion when all your opponents have been Quakers.

Bull.

Shit.

What really pisses me off with these stories is not the violence, per se, but rather the delusion.  Women hit, punch, slap, bite, whip men because they take for granted that they won’t get it back in spades. I don’t think a whole lot of men give a lot of thought to the fact that if they did respond, the legal reality is that they are the ones who are going to jail.

That’s undeniably true.  Men are the ones arrested in DV situations, regardless of whether the violence was reciprocal or initiated by women.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/07/16/this-report-on-the-use-of-gps-technology-in-domestic-violence-cases-funded-by-the-department-of-justice-will-blow-your-mind-even-when-women-are-enrolled-as-abusers-theyre-still-victims/

But I don’t think that is what goes through a man’s mind.  He goes on instinct, and the instinct is very simple:  you don’t hurt women.

protecting

What makes me sick is to see these women take full advantage of that instinct with zero self-awareness, and zero thought that perhaps the privilege of protection from intimate male partner violence ought to be balanced by a few male privileges that are uncontested.

What might those privileges be?

Let’s look at Peggy McIntosh’s checklist of male privilege:

http://sap.mit.edu/content/pdf/male_privilege.pdf

All of the items on Peggy’s list come down to one thing:  men are given more responsibility and more prestige than women in the public sphere.

Could that possibly be because women are given more prestige and more responsibility in the private sphere?

baby

Women continue to have the choice, especially if they have planned intelligently, to eschew the formal labor force and spend their lives taking care of their children and homes.  They have the privilege of being assumed natural caregivers for children and family and home, and they ARE.  Oh, scream all you want to – nature has designed women to care for small children.  Those breasts sitting on your chest are all the evidence you need.  That doesn’t mean men can’t do a good job caring for children, but most prefer to provide and have a responsible, reliable woman at home taking care of the private sphere.

http://www.cbsatlanta.com/story/21668082/most-dads-want-their-wives-to-be-stay-at-home-wives

Obviously, not all men have ALL THE POWER AND PRESTIGE, but even those men who survived at the bottom of the economic pyramid traditionally had the privilege of having more prestige and responsibility in the public sphere relative to their wives.

And that came with a responsibility:  to surrender responsibility in the private sphere to their wives.

It’s called the Myth of Male Dominance, and we have covered the territory before.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/04/14/there-never-was-a-patriarchy-and-there-isnt-one-now-in-related-news-mr-jb-cant-do-shit-without-running-it-by-me-first/

And where are we now, as a culture?  We have women who feel perfectly at ease physically assaulting the men they supposedly love, taking for granted their protection and unwillingness to reciprocate that violence, and then refusing to acknowledge that men have some earned privileges of their own.

I’m not so sure I agree with the idea that we should hold women criminally liable for domestic violence, the same way we hold men responsible.  I think there is more to be gained from emphasizing that women get away with violence because men allow them to.

That leads the conversation in a very particular direction:  if men wanted all women caged and pregnant with no rights of any kind, they could do that in 24 hours.  Saudi Arabia, anyone?

The whole conversation about male power and privilege and how it needs to be defeated ignores the brutal reality that if men really wanted to see women oppressed and subjugated, there is jack shit we could do about that.

1handmaid

It would be over before we even knew it began.  Margaret Atwood wrote a book called The Handmaid’s Tale in which that exact thing happens.  It takes one simple measure to bring women to their knees:  all bank accounts held by women are frozen and the assets are transferred to their male domestic partners or the state.

And boom, it’s lights out for feminism.

Domestic violence, when women are the perpetrators shines a gigantic, blinding spotlight on the fact that MEN ARE NOT THE ENEMY.  An enemy would break your neck if you whipped him with a belt or punched him in the face.  An enemy would destroy you.  An enemy would have you in a chokehold pinned against the wall. An enemy would fight back.

The enemy here is an ideology that intends to keep every female privilege and dismantle every male one.  It’s proceeding on men’s good graces.  Men are allowing it.  Because they don’t see the danger? Because the instinct to not hurt women is that strong?  Because the reality is that women, despite all their delusions to the contrary, still have no real power collectively? Hanna Roisin hilariously claims that “men dither while women solve the world’s problems”.

Because she found two women with some political power.  TWO!  Well, yee haw!

Pay attention Hanna, you delusional bitch.  Women do not make up more than 30% of the legislature in the developed world, and in the rest of the world it’s considerable less.  You go right ahead and sob at the injustice of it, but you can shut your fucking mouth about “dithering men”.

minister

Here’s a map of global prosperity:

global-trends-in-wealth-and-democracy

Our stunning achievements in wealth and freedom have come under the stewardship of MEN.  Pretty much every luxury and every amenity you enjoy in your life was invented, designed, manufactured, maintained and repaired by a man.  Men continue to control most of the formal institutions of power in our culture, and they are the main reason you are not currently living in a fucking mud hut trading berries for hand-woven linen.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/11/opinion/rosin-women-in-charge/

The whole conversation about domestic violence and the uselessness of dithering men and women’s double standards and delusions of power and grandeur and competence make me think of one thing:

breaking poiunt

The breaking point.

Everyone has one.

The men in Jezebel’s story, getting the shit kicked out of them by women, clearly haven’t reached theirs.

But it can’t be far off.  Honestly, I hope it’s not.  I’ve had just about enough of women’s bullshit.  Which doesn’t matter in the slightest.

It will matter when men have had enough.

And then we’ll see, won’t we?  I’m not frightened for myself, actually.  Men may apply some corrective measures, but they’re not going to enslave women or chain them by the neck or do any other horrible thing.

spanking

But they might decide that a woman who whips them with a belt deserves a little taste of her own medicine. Based on Fifty Shades of Grey, there might just be a whole lot of women who would love that!

Lots of love,

JB

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  • Tyler

    I totally agree with your point that the DV facts illustrate in giant flashing neon that men are not remotely the enemies they’re made out to be. But, while I’m sure there are many men who wouldn’t hit a woman out of principle, there are also many in my generation (I’m 25) who, having grown up around feminism and its dissolution of standard gender roles, are not nearly as ideologically opposed to defending themselves.

    For example, if a woman were hitting me or attacking me in some significant way (futile punches to the arm mean nothing), I’d neutralize her, with just enough pain to discourage trying that shit again. Grab her arm, push her away, smack her if she’s really coming at you, just something to end the confrontation. That’s an appropriate, restrained response, wherein I’m de-escalating the situation, and not attacking her like she attacked me. The problem is, I’d never actually do that, and not because I think I’d be in the wrong. It’s because I know that I’d be the one in jail for ending a fight she started.

    My point is, I disagree with your statement that we don’t need to criminalize female DV the same as male DV. The ideal would be to simply not assume the male was at fault without actual evidence, but I’m not holding my breath on that one. Or we could draw an actual distinction about the degree of violence, since there is a difference between breaking her jaw and slapping her face. Either way, I don’t see why having prestige and responsibility in the private sphere also grants acceptability to abusive behavior. And it’s the psychological element that’s more troubling than the physical. Men heal quickly (thanks, testosterone!), but there are few things more emasculating than taking a beating from someone and just standing there because you know her big brother (the cops) will destroy you if you defend yourself.

    If I can’t hit you when I think you deserve it, you can’t hit me when you think I deserve it. Or, saying it another way, you are not allowed to create situations in which my options are take a beating or get arrested. That’s criminal harm, so criminalize it.

    Anyway, keep up the good work. Love your blog.

    • Wilson

      Not much chance of the legal system becoming more reasonable. Children are arrested for school fights, when two men fight they are both jailed, doesn’t even matter who threw the first punch, being disruptive is crime enough

  • Jax

    This topic always inevitably leads to eye rolling from me. Not because of anything you’ve said here JB, but from the inevitable feminist response. We say “women shouldn’t be culturally permitted to hit men, and men deserve the right to defend themselves” and for some strange reason they hear “I should have the right to hit women, regardless of context.”

    Normally I hate the site, but in this case, I say thank god for Jezebel because never has an article inadvertently shed light on the hypocrisy and double-standard so well as the comments drawn out by that one.

  • Troy

    I’m not so sure I agree with the idea that we should hold women criminally liable for domestic violence, the same way we hold men responsible.

    Then, Mrs. JB, what quantum of responsibility do think women should be accountable to?

    But it can’t be far off. Honestly, I hope it’s not. I’ve had just about enough of women’s bullshit.

    It isn’t just feminist bullshit. It is the whole damn culture. Sexualizing 12 year olds. Cops getting paid vacation when they murder people. The national debt. Over credentialization to get a job. Unemployment. Self centered baby boomers. The NSA. Fast and Furious. ACA. TARP. The Kardashians. Reality TV. Unmitigated hypergamy. Airport Security Theatre (AKA The TSA). The ubiquity of obesity. The prison industrial complex. The drug war….. and the Ice Capades. (At least we don’t have to deal with the Bay City Rollers anymore)

    I grew up at the end of the cold war listening, with fear, to Carl Sagan warn us about nuclear winter. And when we seemed to have passed that spectre, I thought the world was going to be a much better, more free place.

    But this place sucks. I don’t belong here and I sure as hell ain’t gonna work 60 hours a week so taxes can be paid to perpetuate this self-mutilating beast we call early 21st century America.

    • http://judgybitch.wordpress.com judgybitch

      Then, Mrs. JB, what quantum of responsibility do think women should be accountable to?

      Whatever quantum the man she just hit deems appropriate.

      • Alex

        that’s a bit trick. some guys get vindictive

  • Master Beta

    “I’m not so sure I agree with the idea that we should hold women criminally liable for domestic violence, the same way we hold men responsible”

    We shouldn’t hold anyone criminally liable for any crime the way we do men for DV. That is to say: “Guilty until proven innocent”, and “shouting is a form of abuse”.

    • http://judgybitch.wordpress.com judgybitch

      Agreed. Kansas is making moves towards decriminalizing all but felony assault. Scrappy couples are just wasting time and resources.

      http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2011/10/12/topeka-kansas-has-decriminalized-domestic-violence/

      It’s not a smart idea to whack your boyfriend in Kansas.

      • http://wdodman.wordpress.com Reggie

        Wife hit me with a brush (playing) but it really hurt. She handed me the brush and offered her behind. I was judicious with the punishment.

    • Tyler

      Fully agree.

  • http://dudequest.wordpress.com brigadon

    “Men may apply some corrective measures, but they’re not going to enslave women or chain them by the neck or do any other horrible thing.”

    I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Men have a VERY strong breaking strength, but as has been proven throughout history, once that breaking point is reached, the backlash tends to be entirely out of proportion to the harm inflicted.

    And don’t get me wrong, there has been a LOT of harm inflicted.

    If a man is capable of lighting himself on fire, and sitting there and NOT screaming while he burns to death simply to protest family court, I wouldn’t think it would be too difficult to consider what else he may be capable of.

    I could see it entirely possible that men could remove EVERY right a woman has ever had… The only ones that would be ‘safe’ would be those already firmly ensconced within the protections of a male.

    And, it is entirely possible that the restriction of ‘unruly’ females, while possibly harsh, and including such things as chains and slavery, could eventually lead to another long period of relative freedom and stability between the genders. After all, we are hardwired to love women. There is only so long that we can sustain anger.

    But that instinct has been so badly abused that the IMMEDIATE backlash could be incredibly harsh… and it might be the best thing that ever happened to women.

    Men today are SMART. Can you imagine a situation where smart guys use a combination of PUA techniques and stockholm syndrome to rebuild even the most aggressive, self-motivated and man-hating women in such a way that they BEG to be the most abused, humiliated slaves possible?

    I don’t have to imagine it, I have seen it.

    • James Thrice

      Most of those breaking points in history didn’t go against 10 million years of evolution. Some guys might go nuts, but many, many more would put those guys down hard and fast.

      • http://dudequest.wordpress.com brigadon

        Do you really, really think so?
        Hmm… what to pick as an example, what to pick…
        how about the Ayatollah Khomeini? I mean, just as the first example that springs to mind.

        You overestimate the willingness of damaged men to leap to the defense of their oppressors.

        And besides, I could certainly present an argument that enslaving women and therefore keeping them ‘loved’ and ‘protected’ is absolutely NOT in violation of Evo psych. In point of fact, in all of my years in the ‘straight neo-gorean scene’ i have yet to meet a full-time slave that is on depression medication, or is less than radiantly happy with her fate. (well, unless she has just gotten spanked, but that is usually short-lived disappointment)

        The problem is, there is plenty of evolutionary psychological support for the idea of men refusing to put up with their shrews anymore, and DOING something about it… it is clearly a common enough problem throughout history that it simply stands to reason that natural or sexual selection would have a strategy for dealing with the problem… especially since men’s culture stops producing the moment women’s culture becomes dominant, and women’s culture never produces, it simply destroys.

      • factory

        Islam.

  • acethepug

    I don’t quite know what should happen. Honestly? If women insist on equality, that is what they should GET. There’s a reason that “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it” is a classic.

    Women SHOULD be just as criminially liable as men … as men SHOULD be. There should be no “men are guilty by default” any more than there should be any “women are weak and frail and need to be protected.” It should be determined by fact and evidence, with each case determined by its own merit.

    I pray and hope there is no societal backlash. I’m part of the problem according to Troy (I am horrifically obese) — no offense meant or taken from his post, BTW, Troy makes excellent points — but I also don’t see how a backlash can not be coming.

    To boil it down to its essence, the minority survives at the will of the majority. People can act out only as long as the ones they act out against tolerate it. It works on religious levels, racial ones, sexual ones …

    That’s why I love your site, even though I hardly comment :) You point out hypocrisy when you see it. It’s why there is a difference in perception between a man abusing a woman and a woman abusing a man. The first is cause for action, the second tends to be laughed at.

    And unfortunately, it’s getting ingrained in out culture, as Troy points out.

    I wonder if it isn’t simply a lack of REAL worries. The media lies to us, so few people know how tenuous their lifestyle is should, say, the economy collapse. We don’t have to worry about maurauders, or hungry cave bears. We can labor and then sit back to pursue our hobbies and frivolities, because most of our basic needs are met.

    Poverty in the US is vastly different than it was a generation or two ago. Is that the problem? We as a culture have become so comfortable, so removed from real concerns (food, safety, shelter) that we can sit back and dither over whether or not the Washington Redskins is a serious issue or not?

    Or are we just not educating people enough? There seems to be precious little empathy in society. No one worries about others, just themselves. The comments you posted, about women biting or hitting men — I wonder how any of those women would have felt had the man in question reciprocated exactly in kind?

    Why do I think they would all scream for the police, or some other authority?

    Is even the Golden Rule dead?

    Maybe a wave of hungry cave bears can set things right. Maybe when we as a society have REAL issues, we can drop the “First World” problems.

    Thank you, as always, for posting. I may rarely comment, but you are always a great, thoughtful read :)

    • Liam

      You didn’t ask me, but I think it’s a combination of both factors you listed, and probably more besides.

      Absolutely we’re “fat dumb and happy” in this country, and not having to worry about REAL hardship, we’re free to make little things into bigger things. Can you imagine any of this stuff being an issue if we were dealing with, say, an epidemic of some deadly disease, or hunger in a large percentage of our society, or an infestation of rabid bears, country-wide? No, it’s only when you don’t have diabetes, gangrene, AIDS, etc that stubbed toes and paper cuts seem like big issues.

      But we also have a huge problem with education, both in falling behind in the STEM subjects, but also in denigrating higher education such that in significant sections of our country, higher education is sneered at as “elitist”, sending the clear message that “you ain’t smart, and why would you want to be, then you’d be one of those elitist pigs!”.

      It’s disgusting the extent to which being uninformed and uneducated has been raised to the level of virtue in this country.

  • TMG

    I was in a relationship with a woman who hit and kicked me several times, and told me if I retaliated or left her, she would call the police and have me arrested. “They’ll believe me because I’m a woman.” She’s right, and that’s the way most women want it to be forever and ever. The only solution is for men to abandon relationships with women.

  • Liam

    Have you posted this one before? I swear it’s very familiar, so I’m either having an extremely vivid case of deja vu or this isn’t the first time you’ve posted it.

    (I don’t mean similar, I mean some sections exactly the same).

    • http://judgybitch.wordpress.com judgybitch

      I think I linked to that Jezebel article before, but I don’t believe I went into the real details of what the commenters had to say.

      With over 375 posts, it’s hard to remember exactly what I’ve said before.

      Am I starting to sound like a broken record?

      😛

      • Liam

        Oh, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE your take on it.

        But I swear I’ve read most of these words before, in this particular order and grouping.

        Maybe I really am just having a very “deja vu” kind of day.

        Either way, I read you avidly, recently went back and read everything from day one, and although I don’t agree with everything you say (how many people agree 100% with another person), on balance I think there’s a whole hell of a lot more you get right than you get “wrong”, and a lot of things that need saying that you say, and which can really only come from a female voice if it’s to be heard and not merely dismissed as whiny men.

        So thank you.

        • Nicky

          I got a similar feeling. I suspect maybe we both followed the link form here and started reading these comments, with the horrified inabiity to look away from the car crash that is Jezebel.

  • http://www.notboutthing.blogspot.com Goober

    I was hit by an intimate partner once, in my teenage years. I don’t remember what for – probably something stupid that I did to piss her off that I didn’t even think about at the time. I had a simple conversation with her afterwards, which went along the lines of:

    “I love you. I want to be with you. You’re a great gal and I don’t want this to be the end of our relationship, but if you ever hit me again, it will be. Not only that, but I will hit you back, and I won’t pull the punch.”

    This was based on my experience of watching my father discuss the exact same thing, in the exact same words, with his sister after she hit him once when I was a little kid. It changed the entire dynamic of their relationship after he told her that. She was much more respectful of him. I realize now that my father did me a massive service in teaching me to deal with women in the same way that I would deal with everyone else – no special exemptions.

    I didn’t really fully understand that Dad gave me a unique perspective on how to deal with women until I started reading this blog and seeing the prevailing attitude (pre-red pill) for many men in dealing with this stuff (for instance, I have heard him tell my Mom to fuck off on a couple rare occasions when she forgot her manners and got too demanding of him, instead of asking nicely). So when I wrote on here a few months back that any woman demanding for me to do something would be told to fuck off until she asked me nicely, a few guys were pretty incredulous and accused me of BS chest-beating, but the fact is, I was raised by a man who was red-pill from the day I was born, and so I was never really all that blue-pill as a result, and didn’t even realize it. He basically taught me that you shouldn’t take shit from a woman that you wouldn’t take from a man. I never realized that this was an exceptional way to be raised until a few months ago. He doted on my Mom, and she doted on him, but there was give and take and a mutual respect, and when that broke down, even a little bit, Dad would call it like he saw it.

    Anyway, my girlfriend at the time, who really was a neat gal, understood what I meant. My hitting her back would have been devastating. I was a big, burly football player, and she understood that she didn’t stand a chance against me.

    But to the point of this post, I must confess that in reality I never would have hit her, under any circumstance. If she’d ever called my bluff and hit me again, I would have walked away and never spoken to her again, but I would never have hit her.

    What this means is that my Dad’s lesson, while it sunk in superficially, at least, didn’t penetrate the social or instinctual conditioning of males of the human species to protect women, even those not really deserving it. I doubt very much that Dad would have ever hit his sister, either. I only know of one person that my Dad has hit in his entire life, and it was a guy that tried to run over my brother’s girlfriend after a car accident – the guy had it coming. But my Dad is a really peaceful man, by nature, and I just can’t really ever picture him fighting anyone, anyway, much less a woman.

    But the lessons that he taught me hold up to this day – you don’t have to be a punching bag. As a man, you aren’t required to take shit off of a woman that you wouldn’t take off of a man. However, you also can’t go around physically assaulting people who are physically weaker than you are and still call yourself a man. Show restraint. Be the better person. Protect those who are weaker than you, even when they don’t deserve it.

    My Dad is a very wise man.

  • Kitsunegari

    You know if the genders were reversed, and this were published on some men’s site, with men doing the punching/slapping/biting/throwing objects, Jezebel would be hot on the case to doxx these evil menz by any means necessary and out them to their employers and universities.

    • Taylor

      Jezebel would go insane!

      I don’t believe in DV no matter what gender, but all those chicks on Jezebel who were bragging haven’t met their match yet. People like that deserve a beat down.

  • Ric

    If men hated women as much as feminist claim, and if men are truly waging a war against women as feminist commonly suggest…..these feminist would not be standing here today. The battle of the sexes was never much of a battle, its a nice little slogan for commrical feminism…but in practice if men really did have it out for women then this conversation would be very different.

    Imagine if men treated women like they treat other men.

    • http://dudequest.wordpress.com brigadon

      I always found the ‘war on women’ to be amusing in the extreme. If there were an actual ‘patriarchy’ or ‘war on women’ feminism would have been aborted almost instantly.

  • http://menwithcharacter.wordpress.com menwithcharacter

    Hi JB. First time commenter.

    I would be very interested in advice on what to do when a man is in fact a victim of domestic violence that covers the following criteria:

    1. Keeping his own ass out of jail ( of course I do not advocate violence on either party)
    &
    2. Restoring the paradigm of love/respect in the relationship. What could a man say/do in the immediate moments following the ordeal?

    Essentially, how to handle the situation so well that her respect for you increases (although she won’t likely admit). As discussed at length in the blog o sphere, if a woman does not respect the man, the relationship is virtually doomed.

    Thanks JB

    • http://judgybitch.wordpress.com judgybitch

      Holy crap, I have no idea. If you hit her back, all kinds of pain is gonna rain down on you. She just has to pick up the phone and dial 911.

      How do you restore respect without a backhand, which would unquestionably do it?

      I have no idea. Perhaps the relationship is too far gone for that to happen?

      Any suggestions, anyone?

    • http://www.notboutthing.blogspot.com Goober

      There is a popular misconception that you have to deal with women, and in particular women who are your intimate partner, differently than you would someone else, given the same situation. I disagree with that sentiment. The way I would deal with it is the same way I’d deal with anyone that I loved/respected/was friends with who took a swing at me.

      The way that I came up with this is to ask myself: what would I do if one of my buddies hit me (other than hit him back, of course)?

      If “hit him back” was precluded for some reason (as it would be if it were a female, and more specifically, a family member or lover), I’d leave the situation as quickly as I could, and let things cool down. Once they were cool again, I’d talk with him and tell him that he was only not given an ass-beating because of my ability to restrain myself, not because he didn’t deserve one. Then, I’d tell him that whatever duty I felt at the time to not beat his ass was hereby revoked if it ever happened again, and that the consequence of ever taking a swing at me again would be an ass-beating. Also, it would be the end of the friendship.

      At that point, I’d leave it to him to decide how things proceeded; if he got mad, I’d walk away and end the friendship right there. If he apologized, agreed, and promised not to do it again, I’d forget about it and we’d move on.

      So, what would my advice be if my girl hit me?

      Same as if a buddy did it: Tell her “I love you, I want to be with you. You’re a great gal and I don’t want this to be the end of our relationship, but if you ever hit me again, it will be. Not only that, but I will hit you back, and I won’t pull the punch.” Do it calmly, after the heat of the moment and the fight has calmed down – sort of a “we have to talk” moment a day or so later. If she listens and nods and agrees and apologizes, she is worth keeping. If she gets angry at you, she is not, and you are best served to walk away. I’m looking for some unique qualities in women – one of them is to be the mother of my kids, and if she has such poor impulse control that she can’t control when she lashes out physically, I don’t want her around my kids.

      Oh, and one more thing: SAY that. But for chrissakes, if she ever hits you again, DON’T actually hit her. You’ll have to allow yourself to be a liar on that one point. But the other point is still valid; the one where you told her that it would be the end. If she hits you again, just walk away and never look back.

      • http://judgybitch.wordpress.com judgybitch

        There is one group of women most men won’t hesitate to smack the shit of with zero feelings of compunction or regret: their sisters.

        Growing up with three brothers who would have KILLED any man that laid a hand on me, I still learned to respect male strength by testing it on them. I think I was about 13 when I realized that giving my younger brother a good shove was not a good idea.

        All of sudden, he could shove back. Way harder than me.

        I’ve never been under any delusions about superior male strength, thanks to my brothers. I would NEVER hit my husband, mostly because I love him and I don’t want to hurt him no matter how much he annoys me, but also because I damn well know that if he hit me back (which he would never do), I would be needing the services of a trauma surgeon.

        Perhaps this willingness to test men is partially the result of smaller families? When you grow up with brothers you learn to accurately assess your own fighting abilities.

        • James

          Funny story, but a similar thing happened with my sister and I. She used to rough me up quite a lot until the one day I finally had had enough of her shit and fought back.

          Didn’t stop her being a bitch at times but at least she got the message about trying it on physically with me. I love my sister, but I prefer to love her from a distance.

        • http://dudequest.wordpress.com brigadon

          You know, JB, you might have a point there. I mean, correllation does not imply causation, but families with 3 or more kids seem to almost universally more stable and creating more competent and stable human beings.

          Of course, there is always ‘that one’, but it seems that there will always be that one… and if there is only one, guess what? ‘that one’ will be the ONLY one.

          Err, you know what I mean :) I was/am ‘that one’, so I know of what I speak :)

        • Goober

          I fiercely protected My sister. I would never hit her for any reason. Ever.

          So I disagree, but only based on my experience.

    • Master Beta

      1) Work out, eat steak, sleep a lot. The testosterone will thicken your bones, muscle, and tendons to the point that they are physically incapable of hurting you. I’ve been punched in the face by women before and it hurts their soft delicate feminine hands whilst I just shrug it off. As a nice side bonus, some women seem to get tingles when their blows don’t effect you.

      2) Only date small petite women, to make absolutely sure they can’t hurt you. The added bonus here is that you’re dating small petite women (fuck yeah).

      3) Practise your intimidating look. I’ve averted fights with men by having a sufficiently scary expression. It sounds silly, but it’s so fucking useful to be able to intimidate people into never hitting you in the first place. DON’T SHOUT THOUGH!!! shouting has the opposite effect, it’s threatening not intimidating. Obviously, part 1 helps here a lot, the thicker bones in your face will make you look intimidating. Clearly, this doesn’t always work, which leads to……..

      4) Run/walk away. Again, also the best option when men try to fight you. Just leave and come back when they’ve calmed down.

      5) Don’t shout, or even raise your voice. This is so important I felt the need to repeat it. Shouting has only ever escalated violent situations, never calmed them down. Again, this advice applies to men and women alike.

      6) Finally, if none of that works, you’ve really got to leave them forever.

  • Cadders

    The hypocrisy of the Jezebellas just makes them look ridiculous.

    I would say though that I think your concept of the way a male breaking point will manifest itself is all wrong. When it comes to intra-sexual relationships, a huge, violent, emotional and destructive reaction to injustice (real or perceived) is a fundamentally feminine reaction (and I consider men who react in this way to be acting like girls as well). Men’s reaction is different. Men may explode with righteous anger, may (when pushed) administer chastisement violence (a spanking or similar) but mostly men simply disengage.

    We have seen examples in some of the comments above. Think about it; when your husband has been really, totally, completely enraged with your behavior or something you have done how has he reacted?

    Did he beat you?
    Did he have a screaming hissy fit?
    Did he sit you down and have a rational discussion?

    Or did he withdraw, either physically or emotionally?

    I’m betting he took the last action. Not because of any considered decision; it is simply instinctive. When women become overbearing men can respond with strong words and firm actions. But when women push even further men instinctively withdraw; we quite literally do not want anything to do with the woman. There’s a reason for that – the harshest punishment for women is not strong words or a beating – it is being ignored. Actually ignored is the wrong word, when I am in this zone (thankfully rarely) I consider my wife irrelevant to me. And the way I feel is completely out of my control. Men are literally built to react this way.

    And this is the dynamic that is playing itself out now but on a societal scale. Increasingly men, as a group, are disengaging from women, as a group. The male backlash is not going to take the form of a unified one-time violent ‘corrective’ action, but will consist of millions of men individually, in their own time, consciously or unconsciously, disengaging from women and living without regard to what women want. It’s already in play.

    • Oscar Calme

      Your point about men disengaging is so, so true. This is what I do in relationships where women push too hard.

      My next point was does this have a society wide application but I see you have already covered this. You are so right on this too. Men are disengaging increasingly and the growth is exponential. As stated in other posts I am hearing signs of this from so many sources that are not necessarily thought out. I don’t think that woman realise the import of this tendency and what it will mean for them in the near to medium future.

      • http://judgybitch.wordpress.com judgybitch

        Maybe I’m just a cynical bitch, but feminists WANT men to disengage.

        They count on it.

        I just don’t think that’s going to work as a long term strategy. When a critical mass of men have been silenced, they’re going to look around at each other and say, “You know what? Fuck this shit”.

        And then there will be hell to pay.

        • James Coe

          That’s True, Feminists Want men to disengage, but only so far. They want Men to disengage from the public sphere, but keep working, disengage from family life, but keep breeding. They want a silent and controlled Worker Class that leaves them otherwise completely alone but still takes care of all of the nitty gritty details of keeping a modern civilization humming along.

          I doubt it will ever get there, but there’s only one way I can see such a society turning out. And it’s not the S.C.U.M. Manifesto, which advocated keeping men as slaves for breeding and manual labor purposes until technology allowed the former to be done purely between women and the latter to be handled by robots.

          No, it looks a lot more like H.G. Wells’ “The Time Machine”.

          Somehow I don’t think Feminists would really like the way a Gender Based Morlock would “feed” on a Feminist based Eloi.

        • Oscar Calme

          Feminists probably do want men to disengage I agree but they cannot see the consequences of that disengagement. As you rightly said in your post about men not turning up for work, women do very little of the work which is required to keep society moving. If enough men disengage so that electricity supply is unstable then there will be hell to pay.

          To paraphrase Lenin “Feminism minus electricity = patriarchy” :-)

          James Coe below also states a good point about they only want men to disengage so far. As long as men do all the things stated by Brad Pitt in Fight Club with the Do Not Fuck with Us speech they will be happy. Personally I can’t see men stopping disengaging when it suits Feminism and the elites.

          I think that James Coe is wrong in the outcome of the disengagement. I view the outcome as Islamic, certainly in Europe. This may be the same thing though as Islam will eat feminism

      • http://www.notboutthing.blogspot.com Goober

        Then maybe I’m too feminine, because when my wife pisses me off, I get in her face and make myself heard. I don’t do the “masculine” thing and withdraw and go off and sulk somewhere. I keep pushing until I get an apology or she walks away and tells me that she has had enough. Once she comes back, I push some more until she either walks away or I achieve my goal. When I get wronged, I feel like I’m goddamn well entitled to an apology, and I’m going to get it.

        This passive thing that many men do where they walk away and let their women win all the time just fucking irks me to no end. Stand up for yourself. Force the issue. Get your apology if you feel like you’re owed one. It helps her to understand that you are a sentient human being with your own desires and needs and feelings, and that whether she wants to or not, if she’s going to be part of your life, she had better come to grips with that and figure out how to work with it (just like you had to with her).

        If I’m going to be responsible for her feelings, wants, desires, and needs, then she needs to reciprocate. If she doesn’t, or she falls short at some point, I’m going to make sure she knows it.

        She does with the same to me, why should it be different the other way around?

        The flip side to this is being self-aware enough to realize when YOU were wrong, and apologize for it. It’s a two-way street.

        • Oscar Calme

          Tried this 25 years ago on at least two occasions with different women. Some women won’t back down, won’t be reasoned with, won’t apologise, won’t listen when you get in their face and still maintain that everything is your fault. Eventually found that the only way to stop this crap was by recording it. Stopped plenty quick then funnily enough

          Easiest and safest thing to do is walk away. I walk away as soon as there are problems that are going to take too much effort to solve. There are always other women or none if you choose that way.

          • Master Beta

            Recording it – Love it.

          • Oscar Calme

            Don’t know if love is correct here. I think that it is sad that any relationship comes to this but as you Americans say it is what it is.

            On recording I agree wholeheartedly with Paul Elam. Always be recording ABR. So much easier now with smart phones and my phone just happens to have hi fi recording directly onto MP3.

            On topic for my comments Dalrock has a post up today about IPV and women’s use of crazy. The more I see and experience I am sure that ABR should always be used as soon as guys are out of their comfort zone with a woman in any situation at work.

            To go a bit further with JB’s indulgence did you notice the case in the UK with Plebgate where a government minister allegedly called a copper a ‘pleb’. Rather than detail the whole story look it up. The outcome was the government minister had a meeting with police union reps. At the end of the meeting the union reps went on camera and stated that the minister had not denied that he had called the copper a ‘pleb’. The ministers recording showed otherwise. Shows this can happen to anyone, even a cabinet member.

            Sad that this has come to pass. ABR boys, always ABR.

        • Cadders

          Goober, we are talking about different things. I’m not talking about something passive and I’m definitely not talking about sulking – these are pre-meditated strategies designed to paint yourself as a victim and lay a guilt trip on the women. It won’t work because it’s weak.

          I’m talking about getting to the point where you simply stop caring about the women.

          You mention standing your ground and demanding an apology. Pushing until you win your point. Done from a masculine frame this is the proper way to handle unacceptable behavior. It is often successful in making the women comply.

          But what if she doesn’t? What if she continues in her poor behavior, if she will not comply? What if you happen to be married to that woman and have children with her and you cannot simply walk away? Have you ever been there?

          Because if not I will tell you what happens. Your woman will push and push and push until eventually a switch will flick in your head. You will suddenly cease caring about her. All your years together, all your shared experience will count for nothing. This will not be pre-meditated nor will it be something you will be able to control. This natural reaction is there for a reason; it is men’s nuclear option for dealing with women – the ability to cease caring.

          Think about it; when you are getting in your women’s face and demanding better behavior she may well not like it. But she knows one thing – she knows absolutely that you are invested in the relationship. You would not be seeking validation from her if you weren’t. Her eyes may burn with rage and anger but she will not doubt her position.

          But when you switch off – when you genuinely don’t care – she will notice and that’s when you get to see real fear in her eyes.

          And that’s when her behavior will change – and it will be a change at a more fundamental level – because it stems not from you enforcing it but from her willing it.

          Or, she will leave. But once you are in that place how much do you think you will care?

    • Liam

      I agree on an individual scale, but not large scale. For a man to disengage with WOMEN (as opposed to ONE woman), he essentially has to buck another extremely powerful biological imperative: the urge to get laid.

      Until that goes away, most guys will not be able to fully disengage, and I’m not sure it’ll be enough to change things.

      I’m not sure I agree with the sudden violent paradigm shift either, but I really don’t see men as a class disengaging from women as a class.

      Think of it this way: poll after poll throughout my lifetime (at various negative times) has indicated that the majority of Americans want to see the congress replaced… and yet it never happens. Because we want to replace congress “as a group” but not our congressman in specific.

      It’s too easy to rationalize how THIS person is different, it’s okay to engage with HER. Just not women-as-a-group. In much the same way that even the most radical of feminists (the straight ones, anyway) still date men, or at least sleep with them.

      • Cadders

        Liam, disengagement does not prevent men from having sex with women. Indeed, men who disengage often find that they become more sexually attractive to women. Outcome independence, instilling dread, amused disinterest – all powerful tenants of Game – happen *automatically* when a man disengages. Often women will reward his disengagement with sex – many men will learn that caring less will get his biological imperative satisfied just fine.

        Disengagement does not mean having nothing to do with women – it means living your life as a man without regard for what women want. So when I talk of disengagement on a societal level I am talking about;
        Men adopting low pressure, under achieving lifestyles.
        Men not bothering to vote.
        Men rejecting fatherhood.
        Men focusing only on their own wants and needs.

        It’s hard to argue that this is not happening but the question is why? When a society continuously denigrates men – and this is what feminism has taught many women to do – men do what they have always done. Survey their environment, understand it and behave accordingly. So they disengage with women and in so doing automatically disengage with society. And that’s the real issue, for society cannot thrive or even survive without the hard, committed work of men, working to their full potential.

        Men’s disengagement will continue to increase and it will happen in plain sight for those with eyes to see it. All along it will be accompanied by ‘man child’ & ‘commitment phobic’ shaming language and increasingly shrill demands that men ‘man-up’. It won’t make any difference. This trajectory will not change until women, as a group, start to show appreciation for men and masculinity.

  • http://gravatar.com/jeremyrainman Jeremy

    I had him cornered I threw him across the room by his penis (I hadn’t previously known that was physically possible).

    ^^ Has to be bullshit.

    — The only human beings on this planet who have the upper body strength to lift a man and throw them are either bouncers, or professional wrestlers. Large men, with significant skills and strength, that’s it. I’ve salsa-danced on teams where I have to lift women and do tricks, most of the men on the team couldn’t lift their own partner, much less throw them. And that’s the men, you really think any more than 0.0000000001% of women could do that?

    — The penis would rip off long before the man moved anywhere, it is that soft.

    Most of those stories read as just feminist phantasies.

    • http://www.notboutthing.blogspot.com Goober

      Agreed, Jeremy. That one tipped my BS meter, too. I suspect, without ever attempting to confirm this, that if you tried to lift the average American male by his bratwurst that the member in question would reach tensile failure stress levels long before said individual was lifted off the ground.

      That being said, if someone were to grab my kielbasa and pull hard enough, I’m afraid I’d jump across the room to “go along to get along” as they say, possibly giving the impression that I’d been thrown by said member, so that possibly is the answer to what happened in this instance.

      But I’m willing to bet that it is BS. No woman has ever thrown a man by grabbing his “little smokey” and tugging.

      • http://gravatar.com/jeremyrainman Jeremy

        If anyone besides me grabbed me there with that much force, They wouldn’t remain conscious much longer after that attempt.

        In fact, if any woman attempted to hurt me in this way, she’s guaranteed to be physically leveled in about 5-10 seconds. Pain-be-damned, that’s about as close to life-threatening as you get against a man.

    • Alex

      she probably “scooped” the man, if she ever got close to actually throwing him. think whiffleball style throwing. it’s the only plausible explanation (with the guy either being extremely fucking light, or her being some sort of she-Hulk bodybuilder)

  • Steve

    Hey JB, here’s a new local example of female entitlement, equality, etc. An “elite” female swimmer sues her coach for making her do push-ups. Makes sense, women are equal to men, but can’t be treated as such when it comes to doing what’s required.

    http://www.kansascity.com/2013/10/11/4548043/are-512-pushups-too-many-a-jury.html

    • gwallan

      As a former spear chucker I can assure you there is no such thing as “too many push-ups”.

  • Modern Drummer

    What do you mean most women cant beat up a man?Dont y’all watch television? Women are beating the piss out of men twice their size and strength without breaking a nail. I really think a lot of women dont know or respect how much stronger men typically are than women. Maybe it has to do with all the kick-ass actresses on crime dramas and the fact that men show restraint which is confused for weakness,but I agree that a backlash is coming and I fear it may be severe. As more men and women swallow the red pill things will get interesting, to say the least.

    I always enjoy Goober’s comments,..especially today

    • roger

      Women have tools to make up for being physically weaker. Women are more likely to use a weapon. Women also have the tool of using another man to beat up on a man by giving a sob story “he beats me up” to activate his white knight behavior.

    • http://carnivorescave.blogspot.com Carnivore

      Ah yes, movies and TV. Little ol’ 110 lb. Jane Bond beating up a dozen 250 pound men single handed. Even more interesting than the ‘ladies’ beating up husbands or boyfriends is women challenging strange men in public.

      There was that female marine who knocked another military man on his ass in a bar because he defamed the Marine Corp. Unfortunately for her, he got up, picked her up and body slammed her. She died the next day.

      Better yet, the woman in her SUV who follows a man to a parking lot because of some perceived traffic slight, gets out of her car and challenges him – with her 10 year old in tow. Are women really that stupid?
      http://unleashthebeef.com/2012/05/23/the-40-something-female-tough-guy/

      The only way I see things changing is a partial or complete societal collapse. The women in the superdome after Katrina weren’t beating up their husbands and boyfriends because their men were the only thing standing between them getting raped – repeatedly. Pretty sad that it will have to come to that, but it will.

  • http://puerarchy.com/author/orsm21/ Jai Dudge

    This is your geatest work. HOE. LEE. SHIT, Judgy. This is amazing, bookmarked and in my Best Of The Manosphere folder. GodDAMN.

  • http://puerarchy.com/author/orsm21/ Jai Dudge

    > Stupid wimp.

    > but I didn’t want to actually hurt him so I let him win.

    > pussy-ass alky,

    > i don’t want a man who ass I can kick.

    Even feminists hate weak men.

  • Kelly

    It’s kind of sick that it’s considered evil to beat up a woman (and it is), but it’s seen as funny or necessary to give a man a good smack once in awhile. Men are also often in a position where defending themselves against domestic violence can get them charged with the same, because yes, they are generally seen as bigger and stronger and more aggressive. Can we just agree that it’s not wise or healthy to hurt people that we love? The feminist double standard strikes again.

  • http://gravatar.com/g2-c99b446c13a5e9761c87b255bc7606b6 mmaier2112

    Not reading the comments, but great post.

    I have decided that if a woman ever hits me with intent to hurt or injure (not even with resulting damage) I’m probably going to jail. Any woman that enters the arena is getting treated as an enemy.

    And after I’m done, we’re done. I threatened violence on my GF once, in growling tones, not even serious. And years later, I’m ashamed of what I said, even though I immediately apologized.

    It’s not a game.

    The key is that men need to make sure they serve on juries. And when any case arises where a man is up on DV charges, they need to look deeply and apply JUSTICE, not the law.

  • Yanna

    I am so glad I found this blog. I thought I was the only woman in the world that sees the war against the male. Effeminating men and boys is a new culture and it’s sad cause women are defeating their own purpose with it all. I have a husband and a son, I am college degreed and have my own holding socially but I see the value of gender roles to an extent and I see a major disservice in the long run with trying to do away with them totally. It’s put biology something’s simply are by natures design.

    In terms of violence from women everyone needs to practice mutual respect regardless of gender. Even people I believe deserve an ass whooping have enough respect from me to where I have boundaries, unless my child, mother or younger sibling is threatened. I value my livelihood and freedom enough to simply respect everyone especially myself, to stay out of trouble.

  • Misguided Child

    ABC has a good show called Primetime: What Would You Do? This is a very good indicator of the attitudes of society.

    From Wikipedia:
    Primetime: What Would You Do? is an American television news magazine and hidden camera show. In the series, actors act out scenes of conflict or illegal activity in public settings while hidden cameras videotape the scene, and the focus is on whether or not bystanders intervene, and how. Variations are also usually included, such as changing the genders, the races or the clothing of the actors performing the scene, to see if bystanders react differently.

    What they have found is that when the woman is the victim bystanders step in to help. When the situation is reversed and the man is the victim nobody helps.

    Here are two of many clips. First is of domistice violence, second is of being drugged.

    Reaction To Women Abusing Men In Public.

    Woman Drops Powder in Date’s Drink

    Semper Fidelis

  • TMG

    Off Topic- JB, you simply must read this one from Dalrock. It’s right up your alley http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2013/10/15/the-crazy-dictator/

  • http://comslave.wordpress.com comslave

    For me, the relationship ends on the first act of violence period. Of course, I’ve never had to enforce this because I also end the relationship if I determine the woman is a bitch. Usually, bitchyness comes before violence. The women in the Jezebel comment thread are clearly bitches and needed to be kicked to the curb long before the violence began. The problem, though, is not necessarily the women, the problem is our school system is creating men with such low self esteem they put up with this shit in the first place. This is what happens when you’re taught you should feel guilty for having a penis.

  • JBfan

    Where’s the Taliban when you need them? Just kidding, but no, these women in question are no better than the Sean Penns and Mel Gibsons of this world, and like them, they should be exiled to Iran, the ayatollahs would wipe the smugness from their faces :p

  • JBfan

    Yeah, there is only so much anyone canntake from abuse, but feminists are as good at handling such a situation as a chocolate teapot is at holding hot water. In school, a scottish girl would verbally abuse me regularly (often with her friends) until at one point when I was 13 I ran into her with my bag held up. They were furious but didn’t do anything – not a leg to stand on 😀 I had another scottish female friend (well, friend of a friend) who made some sick joke about me along those lines in front of all my friends, I terminated our friendship. Similarly, another girl (she’d whacked me once – not that hard but just enough to annoy, we regarded it as horseplay) ended up insulting me with an embarrassing joke in front of another group of friends. She happened to call me up just when I was raging to a friend of mine about my situation, and not being of sound mind, I gave her a fair few harsh words that I am ashamed to say made her cry. I never did that again or would wish to, but it shows you push someone so far, eventually they start pushing back. Jezebel, fair warning.

    • http://gravatar.com/jabrwok jabrwok

      “I ran into her with my bag held up”? What does this mean?

  • http://happycrow.wordpress.com/ happycrow

    Wifey lost it once in Budapest and went to start shoving, etc.
    I sat her forcefully but gently on the couch and informed her that the instant that behavior repeated itself, the relationship was over and I was back on a plane to the States.

    She now considers it a horrible embarrassment. I don’t think the relationship needed to end at that point, and I had plenty of other options — I chose this woman in spite of that, and it was a very active choice (I have given up not one but *three* careers to spawn with this chick). But this all comes back to what old-fashioned women knew and that feminists abhor: there are consequences. Feminists don’t want equality: they want inconsequentiality. Fortunately for them, that is exactly what they are gradually achieving.

    • acethepug

      happycrow wrote:
      “But this all comes back to what old-fashioned women knew and that feminists abhor: there are consequences. Feminists don’t want equality: they want inconsequentiality. Fortunately for them, that is exactly what they are gradually achieving.”

      This! 1000x times this, exactly what I wanted to say. It’s not equality, it’s basically everything yours is mine, and everything mine is mine.

      Thank you!

  • John
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  • Kim

    Was abused by my wife , true to form I was drug off in handcuffs

  • Joesepha

    And you lost me here: “I’m not so sure I agree with the idea that we should hold women criminally liable for domestic violence, the same way we hold men responsible. I think there is more to be gained from emphasizing that women get away with violence because men allow them to.”

  • Greg

    Any woman who hits me – all bets are off and I will knock the bitch out and bloody and throw her and fuck jail bitches.

  • bourchakoun

    Those smug and completely deluded comments regarding “beating the shit out of men” are completely unknown with Eastern European Women. US- and UK-women are likely the most aggressive Hyena-like monsters. Funny also how media and entertainment reinforce those delusions with 110-pound women easily besting 10 highly-trained 200-pound martial-artists. In reality 99% of women would be down against a moderately trained 90-pound man as our bodily structure is completely different.

    And of course you are right Mrs. JB – you have nothing to fear of men, because men will always protect the likes of you at peril to their lives, but I am not so sure about the rest of the feral crowd. Feminists may get their equality and be treated like men very soon…

  • Jim

    “It will matter when men have had enough.

    And then we’ll see, won’t we? I’m not frightened for myself, actually. Men may apply some corrective measures, but they’re not going to enslave women or chain them by the neck or do any other horrible thing.”

    The thing women don’t realize (I don’t know why) is that if men wanted to they could easily enslave all the women if they collectively decided to do so. I’m not saying they should (do I really need to point that out?) but they don’t’ seem to realize that you don’t want a huge mass of pissed off men on their back. Women only have any rights at all because of the good graces of men. You’d think they could at least say thank you.