I spoke to the BBC about #womenagainstfeminism

24 Jul

I think it’s kind of interesting how the feminist had full studio cameras and makeup and editing and the rest of us were on low quality grainy Skype footage.


Guess who got the last word?


Edited to add: I can’t get the BBC embed code to work. You can watch the video here:




REBLOG: Feminists, Stop Shooting Yourselves in the Vagina: Examining the Outrage Over “Women Against Feminism”

20 Jul


Link to original post

Are Feminists against Women Against Feminism doing the right thing, or are they missing a larger issue?

by Caitlin Elam

While spelunking in the vast cave that is the Internet, exploring the concept of “Women Against Feminism”, I did a double take:

“Women against FEMINISM? Burn them at the stake! Someone fetch me my fainting couch and some smelling salts, I’ve got the vapors!” Yes, I’m guilty of being a tad overdramatic…sometimes.

I composed myself and thought about it logically: what would it hurt me to go check out their site with an open mind, read what they have to say, and comment on it via blog? Aren’t we supposed to be open-minded creatures of tolerance these days? That’s what I thought and what I’ve always believed/been taught.

I read their Facebook/Tumblr pages and got a look at what this was, exactly. This isn’t women hating on other women but rather trying to reshape what modern feminism has become and I like a good deal of what they’re saying. They’re not saying women should go back in the kitchen and be barefoot and pregnant (unless they want to). They’re not saying that women shouldn’t have rights to healthcare, decision-making power over their bodies, be able to vote/own land/hold office/join the military/etc, or be safe from anti-victim rape legislation. I didn’t see one iota of any of that in any of the posts..

You tell 'em, sister.

What I found was a bunch of thoughtful, ballsy women coming together for a common cause and supporting one another. Their name is either a misnomer or really cleverly crafted trolling/satire because these are actual feminists (or what feminists are supposed to be), in my humble opinion. In a couple of cases, some of these women have said that feminists have told WAF women they should be raped for their beliefs. Counterproductive, much?

I didn’t agree with all of the women that posted but that’s ok; I don’t think they were looking for my approval and that is wonderful because they shouldn’t need my approval – only their own. If it feels right, do it (unless it’s against the law – no brainer).

It was evident to me that they want the freedom to choose based on what theywant personally. You want to go be a stay at home wife and mother? Go ahead – I’ve done it and it’s the hardest freaking job on the planet but easily the most rewarding. Do you want to be a multi-billionaire CEO? Go for it! I suggest reading “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss and listening to “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor to jazz you up.

I’ve been working in vocations where males are more prevalent than females since I could legally work because those fields are where my passions were/are. The jobs I loved working just happened to be ubiquitously male, not because I felt I had anything to prove or needed to spank the patriarchy with my uterus of mightiness. I’ve been employed in a video store (I love movies), a movie theater (did I mention I love movies?), a comic book store (I love comics), a pizza joint (who doesn’t love pizza?), and a police officer in the United States Navy (I love me some justice).

Have I been sexually harassed before? Yes, I have and it was while I was in the military. It was absolutely a horrible experience. Do you want to know what I did? I reported the infraction (at the encouragement of a man). My “chutzpah” sparked something because a few other women were encouraged to speak out about this Sailor for his wrongdoing; he had done the same thing to them that he had done to me.

The man responsible was put up for Captain’s Mast (Non Judicial Punishment) and he was subsequently and unceremoniously kicked out of the Navy. I was then, unfortunately, reprimanded by his Chief for “ruining” the guy’s life, family, and career by reporting the harassment. Navy isn’t ever going to be perfect. Doesn’t matter – I’m still proud of standing up for myself and others.

I didn’t automatically glean from those two bad experiences that all men are horrible, women-hating trolls because that would be stupid. Overgeneralizing is not only myopic but also unfair. For every one man I had making my life hell, I had five supporting me every step of the way. My Commanding Officer, my Executive Officer, my Security Officer, my Leading Petty Officer (MA1 Darren Clayton – whom I consider my mentor to this day and a hell of a friend/person), my coworkers/brothers in arms – all of them house Y chromosomes. All of them helped and supported me. And yes, I had female Sailors supporting me, too. Good Sailors all.

The military does have a long way to go in its treatment towards women but it is experiences like mine that generally give me hope. It was also kick-ass women (like my grandmother) who were in the WAVES (Women Accepted for Voluntary Emergency Service) that made it so I could even take the oath to join the Navy in the first place.

“Snikt, Daddy!”

Yes, the system does bomb and there injustices commented against women every single day all over the world. It tears my heart in two. I want to fight for those women, not women that tell me I’m a piece of shit because I like getting manicures or I let my daughter wear pink. Newsflash: the kid LIKES pink – shut up about it (she also pretends to be Wolverine from the X-Men if it helps you sleep better at night).

While it is a sickening/sobering thought that women suffer abuse every single day, it does not mean that the whole male race are vicious brutes ready to spring out and hurt ladies at all hours of the day. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be able to walk out of my house.

I went to go make Father’s Day breakfast and came back to them like this. They fell asleep waiting on me so Sam could open his gifts. D’awww…

I wouldn’t have married my husband if I thought he was just going to persecute me; I was raised better than that. Could you look at this picture of Sam asleep with our daughter on Father’s Day and honestly tell me that he hates women? He’s helping me with raising one (very well, I might add).

The modern feminist movement has gone from women supporting each other, fighting against real injustices, and having a common goal of equality with men to the other end of the spectrum where women viciously attack each other and compete against each other for who can be the “most feminist” (but God forbid there be a pageant for that title because that would be *gasp* sexist).

I do fundamentally consider myself a feminist, though, but I always have to have to add a disclaimer so I’m not lumped in with the radicals that have the loudest voices in the media. I strive for female equality with men rather than superiority over men; there, that’s about as concise as I can get it.

I think the feminist movement has come a long way and accomplished a lot but has most definitely overshot the mark to its own detriment. It went from “all men are better than women and should dominate” to “all men are scum and must be stopped!” Whatever happened to happy mediums? As Billy Joel says, “I don’t know why I go to extremes; too high or too low, there ain’t no in-betweens”. Apparently you’re either for the feminist movement or you’re against them.

Looking at you, HuffPost….

I’ve seen most of the blogs coming out against and demonizing Women Against Feminism or celebrities like Shailene Woodley because they’ve said they’re not feminist (probably because they, like me, don’t want to be pigeonholed). “Big feminism”/radicals represented in these blogs throw WAF and other anti-feminist celebrities into that aforementioned false dichotomy and it really makes you wonder if they even read anything WAF wrote. There are misogynists in this world but these women ain’t it.

I was NOT put on this Earth to entertain or please men but I wasn’t put here to hate them, either. I learned from the best feminist on the planet (my mother, whom I’ve written about before), to stand up for myself, fight for what I believe in, pick my battles, hold my head up high, and be proud to be a woman. I have, I do, and I am.

Feminists – stop shooting yourselves in the vagina, grow up, and make yourselves a cohesive/inclusive unit with a clear mission statement. If being a feminist means I have to be a man-hating bully then count me right the hell out; I choose to support rather than demean.

Caitlin Elam is a contributor for the Never Daunted Radio Network. You can reach her on Twitter at @SuperCaity

The point went so far over Marcotte’s big fat head, even a BUK missile couldn’t bring it down.

19 Jul



Why do I read this woman?  It’s a form of torture, I swear.  Her level of stupid seems to know no bounds.  Yes, I am of course referring to Amanda Marcotte of the “we don’t need no babies” and “giving up your baby is the same as abortion” school of dumbassery.  Here she is today wedging her panties further up her ass by complaining about Bill Maher tweeting that even if a woman is trying to kill him, he will do no more than give her a slap.


Slap a woman?  Violent misogynist beast!  Women are never to be slapped.  Not ever!  Here is the tweet that got Mandy’s blood boiling.  I also included a rather clever response, and I will explain why in a moment.




Bill Maher reminded everyone Thursday evening that no matter how progressive he claims to be, when it comes to women, he’s an old school misogynist.


According to Marcotte, with this one tweet, Maher achieved the following:

  • Made light of domestic violence
  • Suggested women are irrational children
  • Reminded women of their proper place
  • Turned domestic violence into self-defence
  • Claimed men are more stable

Wow!  Impressive!  Except no.  Hamas is like a crazy woman trying to kill you and even under circumstances that dire, the response is to hold her by the wrists and then resort to slapping her.  If Maher is making light of domestic violence, he is making light of violent women who are actively trying to kill their male partners!  A woman trying to kill you is probably irrational, although the way Amanda phrases it, attempting to kill a man is a perfectly rational thing to do.  Guess he was asking for it, huh?


The whole point of the tweet is that when Hamas decides to go up against Israel by firing a few hundred rockets at them (no biggie, right?), Israel being the stronger of the two by far shows an enormous amount of restraint until it just can’t any more.  The Israeli Army takes extraordinary measures to warn civilians of strikes, and no matter what you think of that particular conflict, the civilian death rate is very low.


I just finished a book by Peter Beaumont, a reporter for the Observer, called The Secret Life of War, and he has some interesting theories about what is going on in this conflict.  Peter has decades of experience reporting on more than 24 different conflicts, and I am inclined to believe his interpretations – he has based them on deep personal experience.  Peter’s argument is that when there were Israeli settlements in the Gaza strip, the Palestinians were able to unite against a common enemy, but once the Israelis pulled out, they were back to faction fighting based on family dynamics of power and control. The death of Arafat and the incredible rise of Hamas to power over Fatah created an even deeper divide within Palestine.  With no common enemy to fight, they fought each other in a war of incredible brutality and retribution.




Here’s part two of Peter’s theory:  the young men (and some young women) living in the Gaza have lost all hope and faith in their parents to solve this conflict.  They have lost all respect for their fathers and are taking the fight into their own hands, with a predictable response from Israel.  While the adults engage in endless internecine battles for power, the young men are firing rockets into a very big opponent who has some, but not inexhaustible patience.  I think there is probably a lot of merit to this argument.  It’s the same one playing out in Afghanistan – the Taliban versus everyone else.  In Iraq where Sunni and Shiite battle for control with the terrifying ISIS making large gains in a very short period of time.  It’s the same battle that played out in Ireland with Catholics against Protestants.


What comes to mind is the famous quote from Homeboy Industries:

Nothing stops a bullet like a job.


That is essentially what happened in Ireland:  economic growth ended their centuries old battle over which version of Christianity was the right one.

Now that the Irish economy is floundering, one wonders if those old wounds will reopen as people feel increasingly powerless, competing for fewer and fewer resources.


The response to Maher’s tweets about women not liking it when their children are killed is what maddens me the most about Marcotte’s indefatigable narcissism and self-absorption.  More than 300 people are dead, many of them children.  There are many sides and positions to take when it comes to Israel and Palestine, but at the end of the day, people are dying and we need to find some way to resolve this.  Economic development would be my personal argument, but there are others worth considering.



The streets are running with blood in Gaza.


But Bill Maher tweeting a sarcastic comment about slapping a homicidal woman?


Yeah, Amanda, that’s the problem.  Is there ever a time, just one single time, when it’s not about you, you selfish bitch?


Apparently not.


Lots of love,







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