It still surprises me that these kinds of lists show up in supposedly lighthearted media like Buzzfeed. I mean really? Would Buzzfeed ever publish 18 Reasons Why Black People Are The Best? 18 Reasons Why Christians Are The Best? 18 Reasons Why Liberal Arts Majors are the Best? 18 Reasons Why Libertarians Are The Best?
Each of these things implies an inverse. Black people are the best compared to whom? Christians are the best compared to whom? Liberal Arts majors are the best compared to whom? Libertarians are the best compared to whom? Try White instead of Black. 18 Reasons Why White People Are The Best.
Yeah, not so much.
But these stupid lists about how women are the best, women are better, women rule …. I see them over and over again.
This list at Buzzfeed is interesting because so many of the things women are “the best” at come down to accidents of birth and biology that apply equally to men and women, and the list inadvertently demonstrates that many of those accidental relationships are railroaded by a culture that really does seem to believe, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, that women are the best.
Let’s take a closer look. Here’s the original feed, word for word, with my commentary.
18 Reasons Why Women Are The Best
Seriously, they are the absolute best thing in the universe.
1. These things somehow pop out of them
Of course it’s a girl, and of course, she’s white. Big surprise there, right? And ladies, can we try and remember for one or two seconds that those “things” cannot be made without the assistance of Mr. LadyCaveLongDistanceSwimmerExtraordinaire?
Yes, ladies, CaptainHalfOfHumanGenes is required, a fact you don’t seem to forget when it comes to claiming child support. Or when it comes to sabotaging birth control so you can have one of those “things”.
Both men and women required.
2. They invent awesome shit, like Kevlar
And not much else. Absolutely, there are a handful of incredibly accomplished, brilliant women who work in STEM fields.
And as of today, there is not ONE woman who has ever accomplished extraordinary feats in mathematics, sufficient to earn the Fields Medal. Not one woman awarded the prize. Not one. And as we have already discussed, Trinity College in the UK beats all women everywhere in the world when it comes to winning Nobel Prizes.
Men kick women’s asses at inventing shit
3. They kick ass and take names with the best of them.
Ha! Both videos feature women beating up other women. You can’t claim to be “the best” if you are limiting your competition to only the weakest fighters. Men are bigger and stronger than women, on average.
Middle aged tennis player takes on hot-shot girl player and SHE WINS YAY WOMEN ARE THE BEST!
Oh, oops. He threw the match. Well, so what, right? That doesn’t mean anything, la la la I can’t hear you.
The fact that the very best male bodies in the world can be pushed to further feats of strength than the very best female bodies in the world is an important fact only to people who directly profit from professional athletics.
Well, if that’s true, then why did King play Riggs in the first place?
Jesus, the scent of bullshit is a bit overpowering.
Men kick women’s asses when it comes to physical feats
4. They make for awesome sisters.
Okay. Men are siblings, too. They make for awesome brothers.
5. They are spectacular as wives
Bracing for the sound of a million screens being chucked across the room. Men are spouses, too. They are spectacular as husbands. When they don’t get tossed to the curb like garbage when wifey gets bored and decides to trade in, that is.
6. They are funny as hell
Aaaand the two jokes featured are about losing weight to fit in a dress and then eating pie.
Women are funny as long as we remember that women, and only women, decide what constitutes funny.
Most comedians are men, who tend to embrace universal humor.
7. They make for really great moms
And men make for really great Dads.
8. They are stronger than they are given credit for
Stronger in what sense? Given credit by whom? What does this even mean?
Incoherence gets a neutral score
9. They’re intense sports fans
A few of them are, but the demographics for the MLB, MLS, NASCAR, the NFL, NHL and NBA all show far more men as fans than women. The best women can do is 41% for basketball and hockey. Pretty much all professional sports come in around 40% lady fans in the audience, measured in terms of tickets purchased.
I wonder how many of them are there on dates?
I suppose we could focus on the word “intense”, but really? Women are better at being hysterical, irrational, over-the-top enthusiasts? Is that really an argument we want to make to show women are the best? I’d think that one through.
Score: – 10
Men attend sporting events in greater numbers than women
10. They smell incredible, like roses and hope
Well, I smell like Chanel No. 5 and Ivory soap, but okay. The market share for male grooming products is one of the hottest sectors in cosmetics, with 45% of men using moisturizers at least some of the time, compared to 68% of women. Men use cologne regularly 34% of the time, compared to women who use it 40% of the time.
What’s the number one grooming regime for men?
75% of men shave every day.
80% of women wear make-up every day.
Assuming that all the products used are scented (it can be really difficult to find unscented products), it looks like women have the edge when it comes to smelling pretty.
Women smell nicer than men
11. They’re great at dancing
Yep. So are men. Pick any dance form, and you will find men at the very highest levels of achievement and accomplishment.
And men and women are equally clumsy and absurd at dancing, too.
Men and women both dance, equally bad or great
12. They are fantastic daughters
And men are fantastic sons.
13. They know when you need encouraging
So do men. And one of the greatest tragedies of modern, feminist, liberal democracies is that so many young men and boys are growing up without positive male role models to mentor them and show them the path to adulthood.
Steve Logan is proud of his job as a forklift truck driver and enthusiastically describes how good it feels to be achieving something. But before he signed up for a mentoring programme for disaffected young men three years ago, the 22-year-old was directionless and falling in and out of trouble. “I used to get into trouble a lot,” he recalls. “I had no good male role models growing up. I drifted.”
Divorce, the cult of single motherhood and the mobility of the labor market all add up to millions of children growing up without adult men present in their lives in meaningful ways. It’s gotten so bad in the UK, some areas of the country are described as “man deserts”.
I am in Ladywood, Birmingham, one of several UK districts where 70 per cent of children are now raised in households without fathers – areas which have become known, rather depressingly, as ‘men deserts’.
An astonishing one million children are growing up in these blighted circumstances, living without a father and rarely even meeting an adult man, according to a recent troubling study of family breakdown by the Centre for Social Justice.
And it’s not just men and boys who suffer, young girls growing up without positive, affirmational and more importantly boundary-setting men in their lives are at risk of seeking male attention in some pretty harmful ways.
Men are not just skilled at providing encouragement, it is utterly vital that they are permitted to do so. Being raised without a loving father is a crime against humanity, in my opinion.
Men are prevented from offering the encouragement only they can give
14. They are gorgeous
Women are getting prettier in evolutionary terms, because beauty is what men value. The things we consider “beauty” signal health and fertility and those are the things evolution selects for.
It’s interesting that the article can claim women are better at being beautiful, and yet most feminists will rail heartily against the idea that women should strive for beauty. Fat is beautiful! Ugly is the new gorgeous! Lena Dunham believes people are lucky that they get to look at her!
You go girl.
Women are better at being beautiful
15. They get better with age
Oooh. Yikes. Nope. They don’t. A lovely, lovely myth, but women are valued for youth and beauty (see above), and men are valued for status and protection. Men tend to collect more resources and therefore become more valuable over time, while women lose their resources and become less valuable.
It’s lovely to think that a genius cancer researcher only gets better with age and more experience, and that is true, but it completely ignores the fact that most women aren’t doing anything that even approaches the contributions a cancer researcher is making to society.
All is not lost, though. Tend to your looks, your weight, your hair and you can significantly extend your value. Be a consistently loving and thoughtful and available partner, and you should be formidable competition for any pretty young thing.
Women do not get better with age
16. They have phenomenal hair
Agreed! Women win this one hands down.
Take away message: don’t cut your hair, ladies! Men love long, beautiful, well-groomed hair on women. I don’t think that will ever change.
What is the first thing Bradley Manning did when he decided to become Chelsea instead? Put on a long blonde wig. Nothing signifies feminine quite like long hair.
I find it somewhat amusing that feminist writers at Slate can champion Chelsea, and at the same time mock men with long hair who style it in “girly” ways.
…when men adopt overtly feminine hairdos, the results seem ridiculous. The eight amateur male models featured here are living right at the edge of acceptably masculine hair styling just by growing their hair past their chins. A ringlet, though, is a bridge too far, even if it’s paired with a lumberjack beard and a baggy tee. There’s just no masculine signifier that can dilute such girliness.
Okay, so a man braiding his hair for fun is ridiculous, but a man who thinks he is a woman donning a terrible blonde wig should be given the utmost respect?
Score: + 20
Women have better hair
17. They put up with male stupidity
Oh fuck off.
And how are we measuring “stupidity”?
Ten most famous paintings of all time. All men.
Of the ten most important inventions in human history, six were unequivocally created by men. The wheel and the plow? Most likely men. You might be able to find one or two women to credit with computers and the internet, but the computer sciences are utterly dominated by men.
This whole “men are stupid” trope in media is one that really, really irritates me. Why does the simple acknowledgement that men are actually rather clever little things who get shit done in increasingly ingenious ways cause such crippling anxiety in women?
So what? So they made flush toilets? So they made iPhones? So they made rovers that are crawling around on Mars?
Those are not the only things that make life worth living.
Women create and nurture and maintain the webs of relationships that allow communities to thrive and bring out the best in all their members. Women take a house and make it a home, take a city and make it a community, take a nation and make it a culture.
I’ve often said women have abandoned their most important mission, but I would now like to add a caveat to that. Women are still crafting the communities and webs and cultures we live in.
They’re crafting them to hate men and children and provide women, and only women with the comforts we all deserve to have a shot at acquiring. Captain Capitalism says “enjoy the decline”. He’s right in a way I am only beginning to comprehend.
Women are not smarter than men
18. And most importantly, they’re there when you need them most
And that is exactly what most white, feminist women are NOT. Women who actually ARE present are chumps. Dupes of the patriarchy. Silly women who don’t understand their value can only be measured in cash terms.
And all of this bullshit “women are better” chanting comes to a screeching halt when the world wobbles and we suddenly need someone, anyone, to put their lives on the line and actually BE the best.
Those people are by and large MEN.
Men are the ones most likely to be there when it really counts
You know, if we go back to the beginning and consider a “18 Ways White People Are The Best” list, we could put things on it like:
We’re better at staying out of jail
We’re better at being rich
We’re better at graduating from college
We’re better at not having diabetes
We’re better at having children within marriage
All of those things are objectively, demonstrably TRUE, and a list like that might compel us to consider WHY those things are true and what we can do about it.
But this “18 Ways Women Are Better List” contains only three things that are true, and not even objectively true.
We smell better and have nicer hair? We’re prettier? Really? That’s our big claim to fame?
I won’t tally the final score because it’s just some bullshit metric I made up and it doesn’t matter. No matter how you score it, this list is total and utter garbage.
If we gleefully posted a list about how white people are better, the rationale behind that wouldn’t be all that confusing or controversial, would it?
So why are we so blind as a culture to what lists like “women are better” are really telling us?
It’s not a thing.
If you ignore it, it will probably go away.
Lots of love,