So Hugo Schwyzer, writing at Jezebel, attempts today to explain to all the hot ladies that the little trolls they are dating are (surprise!) just as likely to cheat in their relationship as hot guys.
“I’m a 7. He’s a 4. How could he cheat on me?”, asks Betsy. “My calculus did involve his not being super-attractive,” she admitted; “at least partly because of how he looked, I took his fidelity for granted.”
Oh, wow. OK, Betsy. I’m going to clue you in on why your little hobgoblin boyfriend cheated on you: it’s because you’re a cunt. And not just a garden variety cunt. A full-blown, self-entitled, narcissistic, snotty, full of yourself cunt. In fact, calling you a cunt may actually be insulting cunts, for which I apologize profusely. #sorrycunts
Women like Betsy, who is 36 by the way, are in for such a rude awakening as time marches on. Newsflash, Betsy: Beauty fades. And once it does, if you are still single, you are gonna need something ELSE to rely on – it starts with “person” and ends with “ality”. And honey, if I were you, I’d get a cat, because you are in for a rough ride.
Ian Ironwood, who blogs at http://theredpillroom.blogspot.ca/2012/12/girl-game-why-its-not-hopeless.html has a really great post for women who are on the wrong side of forty, still single, still reasonably hot and still in the market for a husband and a father for her (highly improbable at this point) children. Ian has some great advice, which includes:
If you are a really attractive woman, pick a troll and behave with complete contempt towards him and always assume that he will be so grateful to be with a woman as hot as yourself that fidelity is pretty much assured and you can feel free to be a complete and total cunt in all aspects of your relationship because everyone knows ugly little troll men are just in it for good-looking tail and nothing else.
Oh wait. Oops. That’s not what he says at all.
I’m going to let you read Ian’s own words, but suffice to say, he has lots of words for women who still have some beauty left, rapidly declining fertility (it’s pretty much done by 40, ladies) and a heart longing for the love of a man. The best sentence in my opinion is this one: “While few of us expect to be “mothered” on a daily basis by our wives, there are indeed times in every man’s life when his success or failure depends on the matronly emotional support his wife can muster. If your wife can’t comfort you and make you feel better when you don’t feel well, it’s not ideal.”
Being a wife comes down to one word: COMFORT
How comforting is it that Betsy thought she had her man-meat in the bag because she’s just so damn hot? Women like Betsy give pretty women a bad name for so many reasons, and a lot of them are worth paying close attention to.
Being pretty does not automatically mean being vain. Pretty women are just pretty. They know how to use make-up skillfully to accentuate their already fine features and they understand that beauty affects people, and men in particular. Pretty woman are comfortable in their skin and careful with other people’s feelings, since they understand the very real advantages bestowed by beauty are an ENDOWMENT, not an accomplishment. A pretty woman can cruise by a mirror without a glance, because she KNOWS she looks good. A vain woman will always check her reflection, preen and be critical of herself. A vain woman is competitive and catty to other women, and sees men as accessories to make her look even hotter. That is why they choose ugly men. It’s the proverbial “choose ugly bridesmaids so you look even better” phenomena. Apparently, vain women also believe men to be completely stupid.
Betsy, really? You think your “boyfriend” doesn’t KNOW you think he’s ugly? Look at the situation from his perspective: he gets to fuck a hot chick while still having a meaningful relationship with a woman he apparently cares about, and he gets away with it because you think he’s too ugly to risk losing your fine ass.
Ha ha! Ooops! I kinda like Betsy’s boyfriend.
Pretty women aren’t scared of other pretty women or men, if they have even an ounce of awareness of the fact that pretty is something you are BORN and it’s very difficult to make. A woman can be attractive and well-groomed, to be certain. And honestly, any woman who cares about men WILL put some effort into how she looks, but beauty is something you are born with. One can be wonderfully attractive without being the slightest bit pretty, and beautiful women can be ugly, just through attitude alone. A woman who deliberately chooses a man she find unattractive because she thinks it gets her off the hook to actually work at her relationship is just straight up ugly, no matter what she looks like.
Pretty women know they still have to invest time and effort and cheer to make long term relationships work. Duh. If you wake up every morning next to Charlize Theron, pretty soon she’s just gonna be that bitch who hogs the blankets. A castrating, whining, complaining, never satisfied woman will find herself at the curb, eventually, no matter how beautiful she happens to be.
Betsy is a good cautionary tale for men everywhere. Don’t confuse pretty with desirable, unless your desire is just for pretty ass. In which case, carry on. A woman who cares about YOU, about your comfort, your needs, your desire, your vulnerabilities and your ambitions is a woman who is beautiful indeed. The simple act of caring about those things will ensure that she watches her weight, combs her hair once in a while and wraps her arms around you after a long hard day. She will listen to you and soothe you and find something warm and comforting for you to eat. I know I keep going back to this subject, but it’s so vital to life, how could it not be vital to a relationship: she needs to care about what you eat.
And in exchange she will have a man who cares deeply about her. A man who wouldn’t dream of hurting her. Who will always choose her first.
That’s how love works. You give, unreservedly, unconditionally, open-heartedly. And he gives back to you. And that’s a beautiful thing.
Lots of love,