Dating single mothers? Just say NO! A note for all the single dudes.

11 Nov

First up, let’s clarify our terms.  A widow is NOT a single mother.  Her husband died!  Lumping her in with single mothers is an insult to his memory, to her and to her children.  So don’t even think of doing it.  Especially war widows.  If you ever find yourself referring to a woman whose husband died on a battlefield as a single mother, you should immediately pour Tabasco sauce into your eyes, because you deserve to weep all the tears I’m certain she has.

Divorced mothers are also NOT single mothers, although a huge flashing PROCEED WITH CAUTION sign is definitely in order.  We’ll get to these charming ladies later.

A single mother is a woman who had a child outside of any established relationship, or a relationship so fragile the thickest retard in the world ought to have been able to see bringing a child on board was a FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA.  Single mothers are bona fide idiots and here is why you should never even consider dating one:

First, this is a woman who clearly doesn’t give a shit about her child’s well-being and future prospects.  Children of single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale:  they have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more likely to grow up poor, they have lower educational achievements and experience way more behavioral problems than children who grow up with married parents.  Depression, suicide, drug abuse, jail and psychiatric medications are all more common in populations of children raised by single mothers.

http://futureofchildren.org/publications/journals/article/index.xml?journalid=37&articleid=107&sectionid=692

Ladies, this is why abortion exists!  If you screw up and get pregnant, don’t screw up even more and bring an innocent child along with you!  The rest of us who have to LIVE with your fucked up, emotionally scarred children will PAY you to have a fucking abortion.  Be sensible, for the love of god.

Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions.  Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life.  You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. All of those things can be fixed.  You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards.  But once you have a child, you cannot take it back.  It’s done.

Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men.  There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring.  Remember the Cinderella Effect? (http://judgybitch.com/2012/10/27/of-course-gay-people-should-get-married-and-have-children-its-the-most-natural-thing-in-the-world/)

It’s real.  A modern man doesn’t turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus.  No previous occupants.  When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him.

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Decided-Not-To-Date-Single-Mothers/2017652

A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife.  Sorry.  It’s just not going to happen.  A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness.  So politically incorrect to say so, I know.  But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife.  Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life.

See how that works?  Yeah.  Not really a huge mystery.  You live for one another.  You both put each other’s happiness above your own.  Exactly what single mothers do NOT do.

Now divorced mothers, who are a breed of single mothers, MIGHT  be a little different, but whenever you approach one, sing this little song in your head:  it takes two to tango.

Never, ever assume a divorced woman is some innocent blushing maid cruelly abused by some terrible man.  Oh, that’s the story she’ll spin for you, because really, what women is going to sit there and say “I’m an unbearably controlling and irrational cunt who made my husband’s life such hell he decided he would rather be a weekend Dad than spend one more second with me”.

When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw.  It’s something big.  Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide “fuck this shit.  I’m outta here”. Stand firmly on guard.  Scan the horizon, dude.  Something wicked this way comes.  Or it soon will.

Divorced moms who escaped abusive marriages with drug/sex/gambling/whatever addicts should not get a free pass from you, either.  Even if it’s TRUE that the husband was a colossal fuck-up, you need to ask yourself what kind of imperceptive moron couldn’t spot that?  What kind of insecurities plague a woman who thinks getting married to a drug addict is  good idea?  What kind of delusional self-image does a woman have, if she can fall for a con artist with a gambling habit that would shame Charlie Sheen?  Be very cautious around a woman who takes none of the blame for her failed marriage.  You might not be the FIRST man she blames all her problems on, but you sure as hell can be NEXT.

Don’t be.

On the whole, give single and divorced mothers a pass.  And for the love of god, if you decide to give one a spin, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD.  That child is aching for a man to call his or her own.  Every child of a single mother lies awake at night in bed, longing for the Daddy he sees on TV, in books, in the lives of the other kids at school.  He wants you so badly.  Don’t let him fall in love.  You’ll break his heart.  Or hers.  Little girls long for daddies as much as little boys.

That’s the real danger.  The children of single mothers have already been wounded so deeply by the lack of a father.  To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel.  It’s the worst thing you can do.  You can’t save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more.

Don’t date single mothers.  It’s just not worth it.

Lots of love,

JB

361 Responses to “Dating single mothers? Just say NO! A note for all the single dudes.”

  1. Carli December 19, 2014 at 17:48 #

    All of this is a little disheartening; however some is true. My suggestion for anyone looking to become involved in any kind of relationship, don’t lump people into categories and automatically assume things. You could end up missing out.

    It’s been my experience that all women are crazy to some degree. We are emotional creatures and think with our hearts. Some just might be off the scale crazy, will key your car, stalk you and have emotional breakdowns that would even scare Charles Manson. Stay clear of those ladies..

    Don’t assume all single or divorcees are broke. Some of us have really good jobs, a budget, goals and a plan. Don’t be afraid to ask those hard questions. It can tell you a lot about a person.

    I agree with not getting involved with the kids until you know where everything is going.

    Many of you guys have some bad experiences and a lot of single mom bashing. Some people just don’t click, no matter how much both try. No matter who’s right or wrong. If you go into it with negative thinking, then you’ll have a negative experience. If you can’t keep an open mind, then don’t even attempt. You’ll be wasting your time and her time.

    The life of a woman is a balancing act, whether it’s your kids, her kids or both of your kids.. A good woman is going to bend and flex to make sure everyone has what they need – time, attention, a meal, a roof over their heads, affection, laughs and what she can with the wants. Morals of our society has been a little skewed, but if you know what you’re looking for, you can find it.

    Good luck to you all and finding what makes your world complete!

    Like

    • david December 20, 2014 at 18:19 #

      The problem here is that men have always and always will get the blame for a failed marriage. Marriage is nothing but legal slavery for any man out there. Its not worth it, and not only is it not worth it there clearly are no incentives for any man to marry anymore. The statistics are clearly against him. If you are a man who likes gambling then get married because thats what it is. It doesnt matter if a woman has a career or not because most women are like chameleons they change based on there emotional states all the time. It has an effect on what they want and need and this changes . Well with these changes comes the problem society and culture has changed . Women have put themselves in the situation where they are today, they did it to themselves. You are going to see false rape cases going up. you are going to see alot more unhappy women out there than ever before, simply because women and most of them donot have there own mental ability to be happy with themselves and to be honest with themselves. Most women marry for one thing and one thing only security. When a woman works and the man works when the divorce comes which most of the time it does. What she has worked for in her mind all of it is hers, but what he has worked for is half hers. They say they wanted equality, but this is not equal. Today women are earning a substantial amount of money and are capable of it also. And when they have to give up or pay spousal support or alimony which there is a growing number of this happening guess who is complaining. Women have it in there minds that someone owes them, no matter what. Ive seen it time and time again. When the laws change and everyone is on an equal footing and I do mean equal footing and women stop using the golden uterus to get what they want and develop some self respect you will see marriage get to what it is supposed to be, but until then HAPPY NO MARRAIGE.

      Like

      • Dave December 20, 2014 at 20:27 #

        David is exactly correct. Marriage is loose loose loose for men especially with a western woman. It’s a ticking time bomb with a solo mother.
        Until the laws change drastically men should avoid marriage if they want a long happy prosperous life.

        Like

        • Trac December 20, 2014 at 23:21 #

          Then please do all of us women, single moms and just single, a favor and move to the eastern world so you don’t have to deal with us western women.

          Like

          • david December 21, 2014 at 02:23 #

            In speaking in real terms not all women are bad and like this. The ones that are like this are generally not truthful. No man from here needs to move anywhere from where they are living now because we are not the ones complaining about the situation. And the real situation is the only real reason that a man needs a woman today is to have a child. Outside of that she is not needed, so donot go and fool yourself into thinking otherwise And as TRAC says ” dealing with us western women” Dealing with anything is simply a choice . No man anywhere is forced to have anything to do with a woman, its his choice just like marriage is a choice. I invite anyone to give any real positives as to why a man should marry a woman today. And likewise list the positives as to why a woman should get married today. lets see which one out weighs the other. At the event of a couple divorcing today and in the past if a woman becomes unhappy in her marriage its always looked to the husband as the one to blame for her unhappiness. In other words its his fault that she isnt happy. Generally who has to pay for the divorce and her unhappiness . of course he does. Now lets look at this from his perspective what if he is not happy in the marriage and decides to leave kids or no kids. He is looked at like a jerk, scoundrel, and looked down upon. Its still his fault and guess what he has to pay for it. How could he have done this to his family. Well frankly , Ive researched studied psychology and all of us have or known someone who has gone through the US family law system, and I have to tell you its one big joke. Its solely up to the men to change things. Realize what is really going on . Take your family jewels back and own them. Do not get married at all. Its not just here this is happening . Other countries are worried about it its so bad. Choose to live happy and avoid the stress.

            Like

            • dee January 5, 2015 at 05:32 #

              Here is a big positive for getting married. Research proves married men live longer than unmarried men.Also it does take two to tango as said in the article. Men and women both have problems. The real goal of a sucessful marrige should be to continue improving your and your partners life. It should be a healthy relationship. Rather than giving up completely people need to learn and teach what a healthy relationship is.

              Like

              • david January 6, 2015 at 05:02 #

                Actually Ive heard that statement too. But in todays society a single man is better off health wise staying single. More and more men are realizing a much better life for themselves also. Its a growing number and more power to them. Narcissism is a huge reason why and thats not the only disorder. Just like the Kardashian’s . They treat this woman like she is royalty. Who gives a crap . She is one of the biggest HPD . NPD attention grabbing sluts in the media. They even have a KIm Kardashian club recruiting young girls. Im sorry but its sad. In general peoples morals have flown out the window. There are no clear cut boundaries any more. The young women today do not realize they are ruining their chances at finding a decent young man , because guess what a decent young man is not going to marry a slut. All sluts are about one thing and one thing only . Attention grabbing for validation of the poor self esteem. All of their self esteem is based on only what they look like. There are huge numbers of people running from christianity and the bible and studying wicca, witchcraft, and paganism. I myself have determined that their own “belief” is what a personality is any way and it will not allow them to fit in with any christian religion. When you learn what paganism is its simply worshipping gods other than what christianity is used to. Many of these people have personality disorders that they have to live with from childhood abuse and they cannot change and are not accepted by any christian religion. They feel left out and basically are joining a cult. They go so far as having what they call open sexual rituals or free sex. You wouldnt even know it but it could be your neighbor.

                Like

                • Nikolae Krakovsky January 8, 2015 at 01:32 #

                  What’s this garbage you’re bringing up about paganism? Not all pagans are sex maniacs, man. Where did this even come from? I bet more so-called Christians engage in shit like swinging than pagans. Otherwise, you’re on the right track but it makes me mad when people misjudge the most peaceful movement in religion today. I don’t see pagans blowing up abortion clinics, protesting at funerals or flying planes into buildings.

                  Like

                  • david January 10, 2015 at 22:57 #

                    In my comment I said “there are huge numbers of people running and worshipping with the pagan religion.” I never said these people were bad people. i know alot of them. I also know alot of them have open marriages and that in itself is not approved by any christian religion. It makes them spiritually feel bad . What I do know and have seen is that Ive heard some pagans make comments and say “those damned christians” To each his own i guess.

                    Like

                  • paulvzo February 3, 2015 at 15:53 #

                    Oh, the stories I could tell about “good Christian” women! Sunday school teachers, a virgin, no inhibitions.

                    One woman who I spent a couple of years with was one of the very best lovers I ever had. She didn’t like to talk about sex, or appreciate sexual jokes or innuendos, but when it came to what matters, the very best.

                    I still fantasize about Carol!

                    Like

        • david December 21, 2014 at 03:16 #

          I have watched judgybitches videos and I have to agree with her. She speaks the truth and the truth hurts. Its sad she was banned from twitter a few times because someone accused her of being abusive. Some people cannot handle the truth about themselves.

          Like

          • judgybitch December 21, 2014 at 03:20 #

            I’m back now. Original account restored because truth is not abuse no matter how much it hurts @judgybitch1

            Like

            • david December 21, 2014 at 03:27 #

              I must say you know your shit!!!!!! Amen.

              Like

  2. Dave December 20, 2014 at 19:50 #

    According to Trac men are entitled if they discuss the likely consequences of having a relationship with certain types of women and choose to avoid such extreme risks.
    Note how she words her concerns. She talks about messing with women’s feelings. This is key. If a western woman feels that you are responsible for her negative feelings then in her mind that justifies all and any revenge.
    Trac also claims there are many fish in the sea.
    Western Men have countless ooptions from all over the world. Western women have a limited time to catch the best man they can and they are competing for a gradually shrinking pool. Party because men don’t want them. Men particularly are avoiding western single mothers. These women are definitely competing for an ever shrinking pool of men.

    Like

  3. Single mum December 21, 2014 at 13:00 #

    Wow, judgybitch there were some massive assumptions in that post (many are possibly true often enough). I had a 10 year relationship with a loving man who did not believe in marriage (and was not religious). We share two beautiful children who are raised well by both of us (but yes not together). I work full time and own my house outright (no mortgage) and have plenty of money for holidays and extra education for my kids, piano lessons ect. I am a doctor, a research fellow. My ex-partner and I split because his pot smoking eventually caused a rift in our relationship, and I felt the kids were getting too old to be exposed to that daily. But I was the financially secure one. I’m also emotionally secure and my kids are fine and happy. So a lot of the points you made I could not relate to. The only one was that the new boyfriend / eventual husband would always be around another mans children and possibly their dad. That’s hard to navigate. A friend at work has moved in with a man who has his kids 50% of the time and that’s hard enough, but it would be challenging to say the least to have someone else’s children around always. I just don’t understand why you think it’s the women who are the financially or emotionally needy ones when relationships break down.

    Like

    • Just Me December 22, 2014 at 18:32 #

      For me, and I can’t speak for everyone here, it isn’t women like you we are bitching about.
      Your only mistakes I see is that you knew this guy wouldn’t marry you but yet you chose to have kids with him.
      And knowing about his pot habit. Yet going forward with procreating with him. You can’t unring the bell but imagine having those great happy kids with a stable hard working non pot smoking husband so you didn’t have to do it all.
      Please don’t introduce the guy to your kids until you know he’s a keeper. Kids get attached and when relationships end it really hurts the kids.
      Your guy you had kids with was the bum deal and should have manned up and quit the dope and married you after baby one.
      You should have known before you thought of baby two that he had not changed and waited to have a second child with a man who would marry you and not do drugs…
      I commend you for being financially successful. Not having others take care of you and your kids. Financially you’re doing fantastic and I hope the perfect husband and step dad comes around for you and your kids.
      Here’s the kind of woman Im bitching about. ..
      She never has had a job or never lasted at any she did have so
      She has babies to get the government to pay all her bills. Ie: A monthly check. Low income housing. Food stamps. Title 19/ Medicaid. ADC. WIC. Free college. Etc. Etc. Etc. That tax payers put money WE WORK FOR to let these women lounge around at home watching tv. Smoking her cigarettes. Playing her video games or trolling the internet looking for more guys to knock her up.
      These are what I call sows.
      They have baby after baby.
      Several last names in one household
      Their kids aren’t disciplined. She doesn’t care about them they’re just her welfare tickets. You hear these kids screaming at Wal-Mart like banshees.
      These women have loaded carts at stores with ill mannered kids.
      Mommy’s usually disheveled looking with her numerous expensive tattoos showing that women without jobs cannot afford yet…
      And we.Even you Doctor are paying for!!
      And these women keep having kids abd teach their daughters how to do the same thing. They think it’s normal so the bar is set very very low for them.
      I lived in Lovington NM briefly and over half the town is what I described.
      The kids can’t read or write.
      Need dental care.
      No direction for life at all.
      The moms are on welfare. Strung out on drugs.And there’s no end to it.
      They’re abusing the system.
      I don’t agree with all that’s said here. The anti marriage people for example. I do believe in prenup though. But my birch is the women who ride on the coat tails of workers. And how the government is taking assistance away from veterans and elderly so we can take care of Princess Sow and her brood.

      Like

      • Taylor February 16, 2015 at 21:36 #

        I’m impressed to find an article like this on JB! Ace!

        I replied to your comment Just Me because I actually landed a girl who was practically everything you described. I met a single mom who was burning the candle at both ends, trying to secure a degree in public health while raising a young daughter.

        When she moved in with me the whole story changed. She couldnt go back to school because she owed $110,000 in student debt, but had no functioning degree at all.

        One health problem after another. Bad teeth. Kid couldn’t read. Ended up on disability, wanted more kids because it would increase her payments.

        Kid had practically no discipline at all, it was like pulling teeth to get the kid to bed on time and she’d just stay up until the wee hours of the night. She wouldn’t feed her kid a proper lunch unless someone was watching. Cooked out of a box most of the time.

        Never cleaned the house, managed to mess it up but complained of the pain from her health problems made it too painful to clean it up. It was bad. Like 4 days of the kids breakfast dishes side by side on the kitchen table. I’d have to run the dishwasher three times in a row to catch up on dishes. I measured the clean laundry that needed to be put away in cubic yards (usually about 8). And she never worked a day when she was with me. Bad. quarter million fruit flies in my house bad – and I never had a fruit fly problem before in my life save for a couple when I had an old banana on the counter.

        How did she end up with this kid? She met a guy online in a forum, flew to Australia to be with him, got knocked up right away and he wouldn’t sign her immigration papers and she got deported, I could see why after living with her for three months.

        Why did I ever let her move in with me? She said that the birth control pills “failed”. She had a big problem with abortions. Eventually she did get one because it was just too much to suddenly be thrust into parenthood with a girl I’d known for a few months, but it took an awful lot of tender convincing.

        Then there was the little girl. A sweet, if undisciplined little girl, just like JB says, the kid wanted a daddy so bad. It was hard to break up with her because I would be letting down the kid. I had the guilty thought when she went into surgery, that I secretly hoped she would die of a complication, because that kid was so well behaved with mom not around that I could see how being a parent could be fun and rewarding again.

        My friend when we were in the final stages and about to break up, actually, heard her saying to her sister on the phone, that she could get pregnant pretty easy and then she’d get more money from the government, she said it was as easy as going to a bar and finding a “donor”.

        And as JB states, these women do not really give a damn about their kids. I strived to make the breakup as easy as possible because I was literally the only dad this kid had ever known in her life, and I was happy to continue in that role, even if we were broken up. Once she found a new guy she cut me out of that kids life and probably trash talked me to the extreme. I taught this little girl how to read, how to bank, gave her structure in her life, took her camping. There was a small box of the kids stuff left behind, private things like counselling files and some special stuffed animals. I tried contacting the woman to get the box to her, she wouldn’t even answer my facebook messages.

        I dont deny that there are some single or divorced mothers who are perfectly dateable. But like JB states, you need to look very, very carefully at the situation as to how this woman came to be single while having children.

        I know a single mom that I would date. She is divorced and the guy was physically abusive. She stayed with him for 14 years and tried to stay loyal and get him to get help and eventually gave up. She works her ass off and got an early childhood education certification mostly so she could raise her children better. She makes sure she always has 6 months worth of food in the house in case she comes across hard times.

        Keep sharp

        Like

    • kevin January 13, 2015 at 23:00 #

      well the issue here is that had it been the other way round…i.e. he had the job, house etc. then you could have taken everything off him through the biased courts system. He would have been left with nothing. How would you have felt losing your kids, house, assets and having to pay a good chunk of your salary on child maintenance? This is a very real issue that man men face each day. As it stands you got the kids and kept your house, assets and money. Marriage, kids etc. are just very, very risky for would be fathers these days.

      Like

  4. booboo December 24, 2014 at 22:55 #

    Damn, this article is as real as it gets. It’s a shame we feel the need to be “politically correct” in this country, because frankly, the author speaks the truth in regards to single mothers. While single mothers do have the ability to better themselves and the lives of their children, most often than not they ARE more susceptible to making poor life decisions, as harsh as it sounds. Single mothers have poor judgement when it comes to choosing partners, friends, jobs, colleges, etc. They also are more impulsive and act on primitive instinct, rather than plan ahead and set goals. Ever notice how within two years after having a baby most of them tend to have another one? With a different father, whom they barely know? Smart, eh?

    Like

  5. Simon December 27, 2014 at 23:24 #

    I like the equality this site represents, no one fights for men but they expect us to fight for everyone else. I do not entirely agree with this post, but coming from a single mother and suffering the “Cinderella effect” it is unfair to believe that all children coming from this background will be messed up. A lot of them are, but same with traditional parented families.

    The problem is as much ours as the females, it takes 2 members of the opposite sex to make a baby. So it was not 100% her doing that got her a baby, we all have problems and a lot of men are too immature and inexperienced emotionally to communicate their perceived problem with their partner, so they bail, leaving the mother who is hardwired to protect her offspring. In nature men are especially ruthless, and commonly eat their own offspring. Men have to take responsibility for our actions, we made that single mother, just to experience a few moments of sexual bliss.

    Men just have it lucky that we don’t have babies inside us.

    Like

    • Eric December 28, 2014 at 02:27 #

      Their are unfortunately a lot of emotionally stunted men and woman , people go in I would hope to believe with good intention, some with hidden agenda’s planted in the back of there undeveloped mind’s . I just came out of a relationship with a woman that played with my emotions and there is only one person to blame !( Me) because I allowed it to happen. It takes two to play and when you play , you get burned or you move forward as a strong couple / team unit, at least that is what we have as our vision , plan . Life is one gigantic roll of the dice , I rolled the dice and lost , she lost , no one Win’s this time . I lived hard and siezed the day for all it was worth with her and as much heartache and my heart surely breaks , I LIVED !!! Took the chance kidos . I said things I can’t take back as well as she , I make mistakes because I am human it’s what I take away from the lesson is the key , I can share with you my friends this , I miss her dearly and know I was in it to win it , My story personally is tragic because of the potential I saw with her and us as a team and at the end of the day that’s what it takes to play A Team ! And I was all in unfortunately for me her issues out weighed the positive outcome HOPE!!! Damn.

      Like

      • Eric December 28, 2014 at 02:34 #

        Some times the hell your used to , is the hell you chose to live in. (Comfortable) No matter what you try to do or say , its not enough. No matter how much the other person says they hate the place they are in , people make choices and place themselves in the hell there used to. Unbareable heartbreak: (

        Like

        • Myexstinks January 4, 2015 at 16:10 #

          I agree with this. I was nothing but gold to my ex and her daughter. She treated me like dirt and she had been around the block more then once and she doesn’t even really know who the daddy is. Her daughter loved me and cried when her mom left me. Plus her family still loves me. My ex is the only one to hate me

          Like

          • david January 7, 2015 at 01:37 #

            Sounds to me like you married a woman doomed for failure from the onset and not knowing it hoping youll do nice things for her treat her right in your thinking itll change her for the good, but it never does. No one can stop their behavior like this except themselves or they ever hit rock bottom and get tired of their own behavior. Most women like this just keep on searching for another victim.

            Like

  6. Lauren January 4, 2015 at 23:13 #

    I’m so sorry the general population has to deal with “someone like me” now, the product of a single mom… I don’t do drugs, I work two jobs, and go to school. I have done disaster response work, and volunteer helping kids every year. Man, I guess my mom should have just aborted me so I wouldn’t have ended up so fucked up. Not saying the article is completely wrong but there are other perspectives to think of here.

    Like

    • Dev January 5, 2015 at 02:51 #

      Dude – Dont take it personally, but a lot of single mom kids have issues, which is natural since they are denied the love and care of 2 parents. The point of the article is highlight the irresponsibility of single moms in general,though few of them are sensible.

      Like

  7. Meh January 7, 2015 at 14:20 #

    Dammit I really shouldn’t have read this article… My divorce is on it’s way and I don’t even want to date a guy who has kids, no idea how that’s going to work after reading this article. It sounds like divorced women scare the hell out of men!!! I’m not desperate so I guess that’s in my favor but come on – even divorced women have needs that parenting doesn’t satisfy! I’m 31, 3 kids and about to graduate medicine. I own property and have enough balls and ambition I don’t need a man for much at all. On the whole I’m happy and balanced (as much as any woman can be). I get hit on constantly and I’ve dated a younger guy that even wanted marriage… My choice not to go further. Is it really that scary for a decent guy to date someone in my position?! I’m not the kind to settle for a loser so I guess kids, career and BOB for me now. Thanks for killing the hope before I even started dating…. -____-

    Like

    • Just Me January 7, 2015 at 17:36 #

      Well Meh I don’t feel like divorcees are bad people. Hey you tried. You got married and had kids. It didn’t work out with the guy. There’s nothing wrong with you.
      My only bitch is women who DON’T marry. The ones who open the fetal factory for a career choice. The ones who have baby after baby with a different sperm donor so you get multiple last names in one house hold. The women who live off the state and don’t rear their kids. You hear the offspring screaming at Wal-Mart. Mom usually has a loaded shopping cart and sports tattoos but can’t afford milk cereal cheese peanut butter or juice so working people pay for it with taxes. People like you and me support these bimbos. Meh I think you’re doing fine. You will be ok. I respect you. And I hope you and your kids will have prosperous peaceful happy lives. You’re not what I categorize as an unwed mother. You’re a divorcee. Big difference.
      And I’ve seen posts from the children of unwed mothers here. It’s not your fault either. And no. Abortions aren’t the answer. The woman should insist on reliable birth control before a baby is the result or its very selfish to the resulting child. Insist the man wear a rubber or tell him no. It’s just dumb to have full on sex all the way with no birth control unless you’re married and can afford a baby. Men are guilty here because they say bareback sex feels so much better. Guys use a rubber or don’t whine and bitch when you’ve made a baby. You’re just as guilty so be responsible for your part in procreation. Support your child! Because I don’t want to!
      If anyone wants my description of an unwed mother again feel free to ask. Divorcees and widows are NOT unwed mothers……

      Like

      • khorsebabe92 January 7, 2015 at 22:21 #

        I’m with Just Me 100%. I’ve been iffy and sometimes depressed with this article but you know – I should be. I had sex out of marriage and we used a condom but that was it, two big strikes. He doesn’t want to be a father well that’s another strike because again I shouldn’t have been a slut who couldn’t wait a decade or two to be nasty. Then I kept him because I’m selfish (I know I should have given him up for adoption) but I’m trying. We live with my Dad but I pay for everything my son needs/wants and I personally don’t think any single parent (never married) should date with kids under 18. What can you give that person? I know I can’t really give my time or anything. I work 8-14 hours a day 5-6/7 days a week and spend a few more trying to get my business going while spending as much time with my son as I can. That’s not a schedule any self respecting man will put up with when it’s not his child. To boot I’m overweight so I don’t think I could get a date with a single dad who was overweight ugly as sin inside and out simply because I’m disgusting. 5’7 200lbs and it’s just ugh. Don’t even get me going about the ‘bomb site’ I don’t want to go there so I will never allow a man to see/touch the nastiness. So personally I will probably never date again simply because I have ruined my sons life and I do not deserve to be “rewarded” for such behavior at all. IMO no single (never married) parent should- focus on your child(ren) because MAYBE you can give them a better life than your own.0

        Like

    • Mr. Red Pill January 11, 2015 at 05:04 #

      It’s a simple mathematical inequality: You will expect the man to treat you as the center of HIS universe. While your kids will be the center of YOUR universe. So any relationship with a single mom will always start off on unequal footing from the get go, since he will always be second,, if not less, to your kids. What kind of a self-respecting man would accept such a proposition? No man. That’s beta to the core! You had fun with Mr. Pot Smoking 10″ Salami and I bet it was exciting, adventurous and I bet he was “hawt” and tall. You probably thought you can change him, like some Lifetime Channel movie. He would eventually come around. Well tough shit! You reap what you’ve sown! Your SMV is now 0. I may not have a 10″ salami, “hawt” or tall, but I do have my freedom and that’s something a single mom can not give, but take away.

      To all men out there, never, ever beta!

      Like

      • david January 11, 2015 at 15:46 #

        Thats just as correct as it can get. Just about all women marry a man to try and change him, because thats what they are attracted to. Then he leaves her to play with others and create the same situation again. A self-respecting guy is usually the one who these women look to to take care of the business that they themselves participated in blaming the first man for all the problems. These are then the women that will just “settle” for any dumb ass to come along and take care of her and her kids and all the while she has no sexual attraction for him other than liking the fact that he will take care of her kids. happy NO MARRIAGE

        Like

    • kevin January 13, 2015 at 23:07 #

      well in the same way that you ‘don’t want to date a guy who has kids’, I guess guys don’t want to date you for the same reason.

      Like

    • david January 18, 2015 at 01:45 #

      Everyone has needs, but you are self supportive. Amen for you. Look for an equal or better than yourself if you choose to marry again that way when if your next marriage fails, you will not lose what you have worked for. Oh wow, did I say that. Thats what women have been looking for anyway . You say decent guy and Im wondering what your definition of a decent guy is. My definition of a decent guy is mostly they are smart enough to know what marriage laws have become for them and are opting out of marriage. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but what has ruined it is the culture and society television magazines and all of the programs tailored too fuel womens dreams and wishes which are mainly drama filled look at all of the soaps on tv. Nothing but affairs and drama going on. Women do not want a simple life any more and that is what GOD has intended us to have. That has long been gone and not coming back. Stress is killing everyone. Low testosterone is an ever increasing problem today with men which is different from the older days. Doctors are now prescribing hrt for guys even in their early twenties. All of this is contributing to the ever increasing failure of the marriages and America.

      Like

  8. Kyle McKenna January 8, 2015 at 15:42 #

    This article is some hard, bracing truth. But however hard and bracing, it’s still truth. The part that hit me hardest was about not leading on impressionable kids. Good solid advice, but also hard and bracing.

    Like

  9. Mike January 14, 2015 at 05:52 #

    Found this blog as I surf/read in bed. I have my wife wrapped up in my one arm as I type this, she’s snuggled close, laying on her left side. We’re expecting our first child together in 8 days. We’ve been together 5 years, and her daughter, is finishing up her last year of college. She’s a rock-star teacher, that her community and students adore. Her inner-strength, spirit, and intellect, only fall short when compared to her love of seeing others succeed. I will be a dad for the first time very shortly. I put off marriage/family for a long time because I thought it would weigh me down. Couldn’t of been further from the truth. And when I met my wife, I knew very soon afterward, that to share and build a life with such a remarkable human being is the only thing I had truly wanted long in a long long time. I am as happy as I have ever been right now, and this kind of bliss wouldn’t be possible without the wonderful single-mother that I met more than 5 years ago.

    Like

    • franky February 21, 2015 at 11:47 #

      briffault’s law

      Like

  10. Trulee January 16, 2015 at 10:58 #

    It was all good until the abortion part.
    A woman who keeps her baby alive is a better person than a woman who kills her babies. Or a woman who puts her babies up for adoption is a better woman than a woman who kills her babies.
    Abortion is anti-male. Some of those men even IF they are not married or dating the woman, WANT AND SHOULD GET rights to their babies but they do not. Before or after birth. Abortion is also anti man because it will always be something women who are married can do in secret and husbands will be continuously lied to all around the united states and have no idea a woman is killing a fetus that is EQUALLY his. Killing his child in secret is never something a woman that is an MRA should support.
    She also says in the “single fathers just say yes” article that men who are fathers are the embodiment of responsibility, but I think that if a woman feels as though she morally cannot kill her offspring, has the same embodiment of responsibility as a single father. I would carry a baby to term at ANY cost, because it is my responsibility to not kill human babies or any human offspring, especially my own.
    If you are this pro choice- you might as well be a feminist if you ask me.
    Believing the shit that babies are everywhere and unwanted is bull. There are waiting lists everywhere for infertile and homosexual couples who WANT a baby who cannot make a baby themselves. There are people who would PAY for women to abort their babies, but those women are generally brainwashed feminists. The fathers and the babies need rights. Abortion caters to women’s feelings and not the others involved, and that is not okay and should not be supported. I would suggest everyone, even judgybitch herself, look into abortion procedures and the large amounts of waiting lists for babies all around the country. Not to mention I have personally known multiple men whose wives legally killed their babies without their consent. Imagine a “doctor” killing your child and having no say in it, that is what happens to men every day. It needs to stop.

    Like

    • John February 5, 2015 at 12:34 #

      You are the person this article speaks of. Quit being a dumb cunt.

      Like

  11. Trulee January 16, 2015 at 11:22 #

    I should have read the entirety of the single fathers post. I understand a little better now. And you mainly agree with me. I am not sure. You just seemed so pro choice in this post. That it threw me off. But you admit that it is feminists that support pro choice/pro abortion. But I agree, until men get a say in reproductive rights, nothing will be equal and men will be at risk of having way too much responsibility. But a lot of women, not enough but a good deal of them, are as responsible as men and feel that they had no choice in birthing and raising their child. I hope one day men have the choice to opt out of parenthood. (adoption or giving it to the mother) but until that happens men might be more likely to be better as single parents than women. But it still takes two to tango for both sides so I would be wary of each parent that is single. But it still remains that a woman who killed her baby, is a bigger red flag than a woman who did not know the father of her child and kept it anyway. At least the later one kept her offspring alive and there is a lot more respect in that to me. It is likely that single mothers and single fathers both put their child’s needs first, or not first.
    To me I think it goes more like single fathers? Ehh probably not your best bet. Single mothers? Ehh probably not your best bet either. It just shows bad judgement calls on both of their parts.

    Like

  12. Ben January 19, 2015 at 06:37 #

    I don’t tend to agree with this particular post, on a personal level, anyway.
    Although, the dynamics are slightly different.
    I come from the home of two drug addicts, one of which (my mother) left when I was a few months old.
    I was basically juggled from one poisonous parenting figure to another over my childhood, but, through no ones choice but my own, I ditched my family like a hot sack of shit.
    There may have been a few problems up until my early twenties (I was kind of a raging prick), but now I’m 25, attending university, earning a respectable wage, in a 7-year-long relationship with a fantastic guy, and, frankly, things are looking pretty good.
    All I’m saying is, while it’s easy to blame the single parent solely (which is completely unfair, because there ARE some great single parents out there), after a while, the kid has to get some gall about themself, take responsibility for their own life and stop crying ‘WAH, MY MOTHER/FATHER SUCKED AND RUINED MY LIFE 4EVAHH’.

    Like

    • Eric January 19, 2015 at 13:05 #

      Yup! People tend to like to play that Victim role and blame game, I agree .

      Like

      • Just Me January 19, 2015 at 20:34 #

        There are a lot of single childless women out there like me. And unwed mothers are grabbing up the single childless men and using them and jading them. And trying to get knocked up by them to continue the fetal factory career. Heads up fellas. There are good single childless women out there that would love to have a relationship with you with a clean slate. No baby drama mamas. Try one of these ladies. There’s millions of us out there.
        Divorcees are another story as well as a widow. But fetal factories are something else ones should run away from.

        Like

  13. saiyo January 19, 2015 at 13:29 #

    Stereotyping people is the same as feminists. Everybody is different. But you musn’t accept any fucked up person in your life, in a general sense

    Like

  14. Ashley February 11, 2015 at 18:03 #

    This article hurts my heart. I was raised in a Christian household where I was taught that sex before marriage was never okay and which I abstained from. But what I couldn’t do was keep men abstaining from forcing themselves on women. I was raped when I was 18 and growing up and being how I was raised, abortion was not an option. It was not my son’s fault that his father was a disgusting pig who couldn’t control his impulses and I wasn’t going to kill him for that. I also am not the type to give my child up for adoption, always wondering where he was or how he was doing. At the time, I was living on my own, working part time and going to school part time. After I had my son, I went back to school, got my nursing degree and am now a RN making $60,000 a year. I also found a firefighter who I married and who has raised my son like his own. We have been living a happy ever after for five years now. My son is very well off with no emotional or mental instability and had none for the three years he was raised by just me. To stereotype single moms like this is just wrong. There are instances like rape or birth control failure that can result in unplanned pregnancies but not necessarily unwanted. Not everyone believes in abortion and what’s more sickening is women who have sex out of marriage, get pregnant multiple times, and have multiple abortions. It’s like in this day and age, women view abortion as an after-thought birth control, like a late Plan-B. There are successful women in this world who had unfortunate events take place that have left them as a single mom and to simply tell all men to avoid them is absurd.

    Like

    • judgybitch February 11, 2015 at 18:42 #

      Yours is an extraordinary and very rare story. Most single mothers are single mothers because they are selfish, stupid and uncaring.

      Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Single, Sane, Hot: Which one should you give up? « judgybitch - December 30, 2012

    […] http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/11/dating-single-mothers-just-say-no-a-note-for-all-the-single-dudes/ […]

    Like

  2. This blog is ace! - May 21, 2013

    […] Dating single mothers? Just say NO! A note for all the single dudes. | judgybitch Judgybitch seems to be a woman of integrity who nose the score! […]

    Like

  3. For the second time this week, I’m praising Putin. | - Dark Brightness - August 3, 2013

    […] But, and I say this as someone who is solo, with kids, you cannot replace the other sex. If you are a Dad, you cannot be Mom. And if you are Mom, you can’t do the Dad stuff. Deliberately adopting or procreating while single is a fairly selfish and shitty thing to do. For the kids will suffer — admittedly not as much as the orphanage — but suffer. JB has a post aimed at single men, advising us not to touch single mothers with a barge pole. Because she is thinking of the children. […]

    Like

  4. Miley Cyrus as parody - August 29, 2013

    […] Today 05:24 AM #2 sirreaper MGTOW Elite Status : Offline Join Date : Feb 2011 Location : Over Yonder Posts : 732 Liked : 2931 times Reputation : 190451 That "Judgybitch" has some pretty good content over there, including but not limited to single mothers by choice…Dating single mothers? Just say NO! A note for all the single dudes. | judgybitch […]

    Like

  5. Hanna Rosin says we are witnessing the end of men! Oh yeah? How about we look at the facts? | judgybitch - January 7, 2014

    […] is proof that women are dominant and men are obsolete. Children raised by single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale. They have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more […]

    Like

  6. Hanna Rosin says we are witnessing the end of men! Oh yeah? How about we look at the facts? - January 7, 2014

    […] fathers is proof that women are dominant and men are obsolete. Children raised by single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale. They have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more […]

    Like

  7. The JudgyBitch Crashes Hanna Rosin's Cloistered Feminist Tea Party. Makes a Nice Mess | Free The Animal - January 9, 2014

    […] fathers is proof that women are dominant and men are obsolete. Children raised by single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale. They have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more […]

    Like

  8. Wake up, black women. You are all still slaves and white women are your masters | judgybitch - March 14, 2014

    […] are linked to the absence of a father.  The children of single mothers everywhere are more prone to social problems.  A lot of that grows out of grinding poverty, which is far more likely when children do not have […]

    Like

  9. Dating single fathers? Just say YES! A note for all the single ladies. | judgybitch - April 4, 2014

    […] My just say no to dating single mothers post remains one of the most popular on this blog, with over 50K views and 3K+ Facebook shares.  I probably trash about 75% of the comments that post generates, since they all tend to be along the lines of “oh my god you’re so judgy and such a bitch and even though other single mothers are total slags like you say, I’m not and you should just die already”.  Yeah, yeah.  Whatever.  It always amuses me when commenters get outraged at what a judgy bitch I am.  Uhm, you clicked on a website called JudgyBitch!  What the fuck were you expecting? […]

    Like

  10. Tough love for single dudes considering single moms | Honor Dads - July 23, 2014

    […] Tough love for single dudes considering single moms. […]

    Like

  11. The Men's Rights Movement and the Women Who Love It | Mother Jones - August 11, 2014

    […] calls single mothers "bona fide idiots" who don't "give a shit" about their children's well-being and pens blog posts with titles […]

    Like

  12. The Men’s Rights Movement and the Women Who Love It | Women for Men - August 13, 2014

    […] She calls single mothers “bona fide idiots” who don’t “give a shit” about their children’s well-being and pens blog posts with titles like “Why Don’t We Have a Dumb Fucking Whore Registry? Now That Would Be Justice.” […]

    Like

  13. Options | RedPillPushers - September 8, 2014

    […] It will always be with the child, and the child’s father, regardless of where or who he is. Judgy Bitch deals with this topic better than anyone I’ve seen […]

    Like

  14. Single fatherhood by choice: Implications of the artificial womb - September 19, 2014

    […] there’s the bar of excellence for single parenthood in general. Certain judgy individuals have asserted that single fathers are more desirable partners because they don’t have a […]

    Like

  15. The Part I take on the Assholes (Part 2) | Complicated Rules for Dating My Single Mother - December 1, 2014

    […] Website: http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/11/dating-single-mothers-just-say-no-a-note-for-all-the-single-dudes/ […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 5,996 other followers

%d bloggers like this: