Dating single mothers? Just say NO! A note for all the single dudes.

11 Nov

First up, let’s clarify our terms.  A widow is NOT a single mother.  Her husband died!  Lumping her in with single mothers is an insult to his memory, to her and to her children.  So don’t even think of doing it.  Especially war widows.  If you ever find yourself referring to a woman whose husband died on a battlefield as a single mother, you should immediately pour Tabasco sauce into your eyes, because you deserve to weep all the tears I’m certain she has.

Divorced mothers are also NOT single mothers, although a huge flashing PROCEED WITH CAUTION sign is definitely in order.  We’ll get to these charming ladies later.

A single mother is a woman who had a child outside of any established relationship, or a relationship so fragile the thickest retard in the world ought to have been able to see bringing a child on board was a FUCKING TERRIBLE IDEA.  Single mothers are bona fide idiots and here is why you should never even consider dating one:

First, this is a woman who clearly doesn’t give a shit about her child’s well-being and future prospects.  Children of single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale:  they have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more likely to grow up poor, they have lower educational achievements and experience way more behavioral problems than children who grow up with married parents.  Depression, suicide, drug abuse, jail and psychiatric medications are all more common in populations of children raised by single mothers.

http://futureofchildren.org/publications/journals/article/index.xml?journalid=37&articleid=107&sectionid=692

Ladies, this is why abortion exists!  If you screw up and get pregnant, don’t screw up even more and bring an innocent child along with you!  The rest of us who have to LIVE with your fucked up, emotionally scarred children will PAY you to have a fucking abortion.  Be sensible, for the love of god.

Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions.  Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life.  You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. All of those things can be fixed.  You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards.  But once you have a child, you cannot take it back.  It’s done.

Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men.  There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring.  Remember the Cinderella Effect? (http://judgybitch.com/2012/10/27/of-course-gay-people-should-get-married-and-have-children-its-the-most-natural-thing-in-the-world/)

It’s real.  A modern man doesn’t turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus.  No previous occupants.  When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him.

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Decided-Not-To-Date-Single-Mothers/2017652

A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife.  Sorry.  It’s just not going to happen.  A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness.  So politically incorrect to say so, I know.  But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife.  Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life.

See how that works?  Yeah.  Not really a huge mystery.  You live for one another.  You both put each other’s happiness above your own.  Exactly what single mothers do NOT do.

Now divorced mothers, who are a breed of single mothers, MIGHT  be a little different, but whenever you approach one, sing this little song in your head:  it takes two to tango.

Never, ever assume a divorced woman is some innocent blushing maid cruelly abused by some terrible man.  Oh, that’s the story she’ll spin for you, because really, what women is going to sit there and say “I’m an unbearably controlling and irrational cunt who made my husband’s life such hell he decided he would rather be a weekend Dad than spend one more second with me”.

When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw.  It’s something big.  Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide “fuck this shit.  I’m outta here”. Stand firmly on guard.  Scan the horizon, dude.  Something wicked this way comes.  Or it soon will.

Divorced moms who escaped abusive marriages with drug/sex/gambling/whatever addicts should not get a free pass from you, either.  Even if it’s TRUE that the husband was a colossal fuck-up, you need to ask yourself what kind of imperceptive moron couldn’t spot that?  What kind of insecurities plague a woman who thinks getting married to a drug addict is  good idea?  What kind of delusional self-image does a woman have, if she can fall for a con artist with a gambling habit that would shame Charlie Sheen?  Be very cautious around a woman who takes none of the blame for her failed marriage.  You might not be the FIRST man she blames all her problems on, but you sure as hell can be NEXT.

Don’t be.

On the whole, give single and divorced mothers a pass.  And for the love of god, if you decide to give one a spin, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD.  That child is aching for a man to call his or her own.  Every child of a single mother lies awake at night in bed, longing for the Daddy he sees on TV, in books, in the lives of the other kids at school.  He wants you so badly.  Don’t let him fall in love.  You’ll break his heart.  Or hers.  Little girls long for daddies as much as little boys.

That’s the real danger.  The children of single mothers have already been wounded so deeply by the lack of a father.  To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel.  It’s the worst thing you can do.  You can’t save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more.

Don’t date single mothers.  It’s just not worth it.

Lots of love,

JB

303 Responses to “Dating single mothers? Just say NO! A note for all the single dudes.”

  1. John July 22, 2014 at 18:43 #

    Read the case below and understand why the author of this blog is fucking right!!!!

    “I FELL IN LOVE” SINGLE MOM LEAVING 3 KIDS BEHIND TO MARRY PRISONER
    A British mom is leaving her kids to make a new life with a U.S. prisoner she met online.
    Jennifer Butler is flying 5,000 miles from England to marry Christopher Mosier, 23, leaving her three young children — all under 10 years old.
    She plans to set up a home with him when he’s released on parole in September, leaving her kids with their dad, whom she split with in 2010.
    “Some people might think I’m bonkers for falling in love with a prisoner. And not everyone will agree with our relationship,” Butler, 29, of Suffolk, explained. “But Chris is a wonderful man. Sure, he made a few mistakes in the past, but everybody deserves a second chance.”
    The single mom started writing to Mosier in July 2011 after seeing his profile on the website writeaprisoner.com — a website that connects inmates with pen pals. His profile revealed he had been sentenced to 15 years in 2009 for a violent burglary and drug charges.
    Butler says she felt an immediate connection to him and was impressed by his honesty. “I felt sorry for him being locked up, nobody to talk to except other prisoners. Of course, I didn’t condone his crimes. But he was still a human being, and deserved to have a friend,” she said.
    They started writing up to three letters a week and developed a strong friendship, but in June 2013, Butler suddenly stopped receiving letters. “I felt really sad that I hadn’t heard from him. That’s when I realized my feelings for him ran a lot deeper. I no longer saw him as just a friend anymore,” Butler says.
    “Then a month later I received a letter from him. He told me that the prison had been on lockdown so he had not been able to get stamps to write to me. “I realized I was in love with him and that letter made me admit it to myself. I couldn’t bear to lose him.”
    Their relationship became more serious, and Butler even encouraged her three children, Tyler, 8, Tristan, 7, and Mia, 4, to write to him, too.
    After saving from her job as a part-time sales assistant, Butler was able to afford a trip to Minnesota, where Mosier is serving his sentence.
    Her first visit was in October last year. But Mosier had been in a fight with another prisoner and had lost his visiting privileges. They had to speak through a glass screen. “We weren’t allowed to touch because he was a maximum-security prisoner at the time,” said Butler. “We had a glass window between us and had to talk through a phone. When I saw him walking down the corridor I knew he was the man for me. We talked for four hours and it felt like I’d known him all my life.”
    Butler insists she will be reunited with her children once she is settled in the U.S. “He held my hand and said how much I meant to him and he got emotional. He never usually does,” she said. “He then said he wanted to make me happy and asked me to marry him. I just broke down. I said of course I would.”
    Mosier is up for parole in September, and the couple plan to marry when he is released.
    What da hell?

    • Jack Strawb September 22, 2014 at 08:35 #

      Well, who knows why this weird comment system is the way it is…
      Janet’s off the rails. I’ve known more than a few single moms who were good bets and had sweet, well behaved kids. Of course, all but one of these little families were from the province of Quebec. Still, judge cases individually. If she’s working, if she’s smart, if her child is happy (and that reflects well on her parenting), try dating. Maybe wait on the sex longer than you otherwise would.

  2. parthasadhukhan July 24, 2014 at 14:56 #

    Dear Janet. I have also written a similar article in Indian context. Looks like our thoughts match pretty much –

    http://parthasadhukhan.wordpress.com/2014/04/17/second-marriage-avoid-single-mothers/

  3. Single MOM July 25, 2014 at 05:53 #

    Ok while I agree with some points made… This “Just Me” character is just asinine! I’m a young single mother of 1 daughter. I don’t benefit from any governmental assistances. Completed and graduated from college during and after pregnancy(on my own dime) and now own 3 businesses 2 sole proprietorships and one non-profit for the Ronald McDonald House… My daughter is in swim classes, gymnastics, and competes in pageants she’s very well taken care of. How did I get in this predicament? My fiance got me pregnant we stayed together 6 months after my daughter was born, were even trying for another and our wedding was not too far around the corner. Next thing I know my fiance is packed and gone, leaving myself and his(not just mine) 6 month old for good (because he couldn’t handle the fact that for once he wasn’t the bread winner?!) Then he shacks up with some piece of trash who didn’t want him to be involved with his own kid, lives off the government, lives at home with her mom at 27, and takes care of her 6y/o daughter and fathers another kid with her after 3 months of him leaving us. But this is my fault? And how is that fair to my child? I’m sorry but not all single mothers are cock sucking whores who live off of the government and don’t want to do good things in life. Some of us are strong, intelligent, beautiful, businesswomen. Who just happened to think the wrong guy was the one… it happens and I’m sorry but I’m Catholic and could never abort my child not that I’m opposed to others getting one that’s their business… But as a woman who was committed to getting married (with a ring and date set), educated, job holding, non drug addicted person I saw nothing wrong with procreating even if it was untimely she’s no mistake and definitely no wretch.

    • judgybitch July 25, 2014 at 13:14 #

      Sadly, you are far from the typical single mothers out there. You are not a problem. They are.

      • Just Me July 25, 2014 at 19:10 #

        Yes just another bimbo leaving out some things. A young single mother. Minimum wage is 7.50 an hour. The approximate wage for a person who has no college. Rent if you’re lucky is 475 a month if you’re careful. And there is food. Toiletries. If you had a car there is gas and insurance. That more than ate your months pay. Now let’s add prenatal care. Minimum wage jobs do not provide health care. The hospital bill for delivery. Now Pampers. Formula etc. And you say you went to college and worked paying for all that on a minimum wage before college salary. Did you hire a sitter meaning more money being paid out or did you leave your kid alone for 8 plus hours a day? Did it alone? Tell that to a 2 year old. First before he put his dick in you without a rubber you should have considered consequences. You’re no different than any of the other bimbos. You had the baby. Horned dog used you as a cum dumpster and left! You felt entitled. Others felt sorry for you and helped you. You worked your con job and are doing well now. Go get yourself spayed so this doesn’t happen again. Con artist unwed mothers are no better or worse than the rest. First comes love. Then comes. MARRIAGE! THEN comes the baby carriage! You had help. Don’t try to con us here bimbo. Run along now and share this BS elsewhere. You make me sick. Only ex exceptions are rape victims widows and divorcees. If you’re not sure he is going to stick around for you and your potential child don’t screw him then scream victim. You are like the rest of these shitbags!

        • Trac July 25, 2014 at 19:18 #

          Hey Just Me I thought you told me in your reply to one of my posts that you were only raking “the professional unwed mothers” over the coals and then you come and insult this woman who not only was enganged to the man who got her pregnant but only has 1 child. How does that make her a professional unwed mother, make up your mind

          • Just Me July 25, 2014 at 19:37 #

            Trac. She was trying for another kid! She claims to be religious and uses that as an excuse. I don’t condone abortion. But using Catholicism as her reason for having the baby but the other side of the fence is sex outside marriage in the Catholic religion is seen as dirty and sinful. Procreating is worse Result of bastard is very much worse not even trying to marry before the baby comes is horrid. And trying for another while single is beyond words! I don’t know what liberal Parrish she attends but I know how mine would feel about her. My problem with her Trac is her even using her faith to back-up her actions and using the Catholic church as her reason and bragging about hee success at her choice is my particular problem with Single Mom. Maybe she didn’t have litters of bastard but she has another sickening agenda. Poor me he ran away buy I conned by way thru and look at me now! But my deliberately pro created daughter has no Daddy and is a bastard and is the real victim here. Shame on this braggart!

            • John Doman August 9, 2014 at 01:55 #

              Sex outside of marriage is considered disordered, not “dirty”. It is considered seriously wrong, but your idea that the offspring of premarital sex are “bastards” and looked down upon is totally foreign to Catholic moral teaching.

          • Just Me July 25, 2014 at 19:57 #

            My minds made up. I thought about Single Mom. She was trying for another baby with the clown who left. And she was on her way to making a litter but the guy left. She is no better. She is just a good and very lucky con artist. Go get your calculator. You know that the vast majority of people before college make minimum wage. Those jobs won’t give you 40 hours a week because they don’t want to give benefits. Figure her rent approximately 450 a month because she wants us to believe she had no help plus food Toiletries cleaning supplies clothes washing toilet paper etc. Car expenses if she had one. Plus maternal care. Hospital bills diapers formula clothing. Now add college. No help. My calculator shows this doesn’t add up even if she left her kid home alone with no sitter. Trac She had help and you should be angry. It looks to me like she had a lot of help! I guess I need to expand my exceptions. Cons are in that list now as well as the ones who sit and do nothing. Others used their time and wallets to help her. She didn’t do it alone. Impossible. Unless like I mentioned before. She was a beautiful prostitute and earned a lot of money doing this and could afford it. I’m no kid. Been on the workforce since 1985. This doesn’t ads up on a good Catholic girls income. She had a lot of help or was doing immoral things to do on her own!

        • Just Me July 25, 2014 at 19:22 #

          Oh yeah. Your daughter was born and you tried for another while you were still single. You made her a bastard. He didn’t care about her or you enough to marry you before she came along and You were foolish enough to lay down with him deliberately trying to create another bastard and you call me assinine? I call you a self centered retard. Your daughter no matter how much you conned your way to provide for her is a bastard. I’m a Catholic too. I know how the Roman Catholic Church feels about procreation outside of marriage and abortion. Did you go to confession about the first bastard? What did your priest say about you trying for second bastard? I can see it now” Father forgive me for I have sinned. I am a selfish stupid slut maker of bastard. Forgive me as I am entitled”

        • Anthony Thomas August 5, 2014 at 09:26 #

          You are not the average single mother but I see a few problems with you proclaiming your above the fray.

          1) You still had your child before marriage. Rationally that was the incorrect move; you should have made sure he married you before having a child with him.

          2) I know he’s a White man. How do I know? You said min wage is $7.50 where you live, which puts you in one of three states; New Mexico, Maine and Missouri. Then you proclaimed to be a Catholic, so I am going to say Missouri is your home state.

          I have also found that White men tend to have the problem of being emasculated by a wife or girlfriend who makes more money than they do.

          Statistically men of color make less money than even White women do on average, so I don’t think this is a problem with most of them. However White women tend not to like underachieving men and accomplished men overwhelmingly considering their own before venturing outside.

          When accomplished men do consider women outside their race, single mothers no matter how they got to that point are not considered AT ALL, why should they?

          3) As I said a ring and set date don’t mean squat. Until the deed is done, it’s still not done. Even if you believed it was a forgone conclusion, you still didn’t walk down the isle.

          I would put you in the same boat with Divorce Mothers, since you almost got married. But what value is there to “almost”?

          Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

          • Single MOM August 9, 2014 at 17:35 #

            I never said minimum wage was $7.50 where I lived that was the ” just me” person… minimum wage where I live is practically $8 an hour. Secondly like I said I made a poor judgement call but that’s for me to handle. The point to my story was not all single mothers are welfare whores, and not all of them are looking for someone to provide for them and take care of them and step in as a father to a child that’s not thiers. Personally as a single mother the only think I look for in a man is someone who can take care of their self, will eventually settle down, and someone who loves children and can handle the fact that I already have one. I don’t need a daddy for my daughter, I need a man for me… I consider those first before I even add my daughter to the picture.

            • Anthony Thomas August 10, 2014 at 00:02 #

              Nobody said all of them are welfare ho’s. At the working class/lower middle class level, the majority ARE, especially Black women.

              Congratulations on owning your own mistakes.

              • 92redrevolver August 16, 2014 at 09:38 #

                I really don’t get how, at this point, we can’t safely assume not making generalised judgements about people for WHATEVER reason is the ideal way to promote equality.

                Unless people are always unequal and black women deserve to be called welfare whores…I mean, fuck. It’s always the fault of the working class/lower middle class who are required to be aspirational and spend money otherwise the economy would dry up.

                So stop being so whiny, I think she owned her mistake well before being left by her partner. I also think the definition of owning one’s mistake should simply be “recognising your own part in something”, that doesn’t mean you cannot ask for help and you cannot hold someone else to be similarly responsible.

                • Anthony Thomas August 16, 2014 at 23:30 #

                  Who is whining??? I surely wasn’t me, just stating the obvious and why Black men still want to marry Black women when over 70% have a child or two (60%) from two different men?

                  I can also congratulate anybody I feel like because most women WON’T OWN their mistakes.

                • monkeywerks September 9, 2014 at 20:55 #

                  Its not a black and white issue per se (not talking race). However if a single man with options should in general avoid single moms of all flavors, meaning divorced and kids out of wedlock, he will do much better for himself in general. Divorced women and women who have kids out of wedlock are essentially one of the same. The differences between these women are slight. There are many single moms that do work and have decent if not good jobs making a median income. Its obvious men should stay away from the mothers who have several baby’s daddies.

                  If any man really insists on falling in love with a single mom he needs to talk to the baby’s real daddy to ascertain the truth about the woman. Most men would be surprised what they learn.

            • monkeywerks September 9, 2014 at 20:43 #

              I have to ask you from a hypothetical POV. Would your child or your husband be more important to you. Who would you put first the child from another man or the man you say you love and would spend the rest of your life with?

          • David August 22, 2014 at 14:58 #

            White women tend to stay away from under accomplished men? Tell that to all the trendy liberal girls who are leaving there borderline gay hipster boyfriends and making babies with black criminals.

            • Anthony Thomas August 22, 2014 at 16:17 #

              So you mad they choose Black “criminal” types over Metrosexual White men? Again the reason why there is “friction” is because middle class and lower middle class/working class White men now have to compete for the same women. This is why the MRM is a lost cause, it’s mostly supported by White men and Black men simply don’t care to support it.

              This is no different than women chasing after criminal types who happen to be White, which still happens. Shawna Fode is your typical lower middle class, mid-size city chick who was attracted too all sorts of shady White men, including some with an axe to grind against people of color.

              Look what that got her…

              So before you criticize White women for dating Criminal Black men, why not list all the White women currently married to criminals, usually White collar.

              • judgybitch August 22, 2014 at 16:23 #

                Very good point. White metrosexual pansie over hypermasculine black man with a record? Don’t know which one I’d pick. And we should keep in mind that when white metrosexual gets picked up for doing coke, he is highly unlikely to face any sanctions at all. Black guy is going down on a felony charge.

                • Anthony Thomas August 22, 2014 at 16:45 #

                  I am glad you mentioned the hypermasculine Black males and the “threat” the impose on Law Enforcement.

                  This is why White men can go on killing sprees and end up arrested, tried and convicted; while physical confrontations with the police for Black men often end up deadly.

                  That hypermasculinity also makes it hard for Americans to empathize. Which also makes it hard to criticize working class and poor Black people as a Black person because when you do they believe you’re protecting White Supremacy and inequality.

                  So if I am linked to them by skin color, I can’t ask them to respect basic right and wrong???

                  But before we completely derail this thread, I can confirm that some White women do have babies with the criminal element; White, Latino, Black, even Asian men and eventually end up being single mothers.

                  • judgybitch August 22, 2014 at 17:05 #

                    If you wanted to write an article on the subject I would certainly consider running it on my site. I think it’s a damned important question. Saw Powell shot dead and all I could think was “if that was a woman, she would still be alive”. And of course, if Powell were white on top of that, you can bet your last dollar, she would be alive.

                  • Anthony Thomas August 23, 2014 at 11:21 #

                    Sure, I just need to put some thought into it. Let me see what I can come up with.

    • PJ October 13, 2014 at 05:30 #

      Was going to refrain from replying, but a couple “red flags” popped up for me, and now I have a couple of questions…

      “because he couldn’t handle the fact that for once he wasn’t the bread winner?!”

      Was it the fact that you were a “bread winner”? Or maybe it was the fact that you were throwing this back in his face? Because this sounds like a very arrogant attitude when you two were planning on “becoming one”. You know, when they say “becoming one”, they usually mean that regardless who is the “bread winner”, one side is supposed to support the other, right? So, in conjunction with the next comments, I wonder if you weren’t basically beating him up-side the head with the fact that you make more money than he does (and shooting his self-esteem even more)? Because, quite honestly, in a marriage situation, it’s really a team game, and I wonder if you had figured this out? (and reading your spiel, I have my doubts)

      Which brings me to my next couple of comments from you…

      “…now own 3 businesses 2 sole proprietorships and one non-profit for the Ronald McDonald House…”

      and…

      “Some of us are strong, intelligent, beautiful, businesswomen.”

      These are two MAJOR red-flags to me. If you want to be a “career woman”, more power to you, I’m not knocking you, and congrats for making that part of your life work out.
      But here’s the thing, “career women” ARE married alright…They’re married to their jobs. This is why most guys steer clear of getting into anything other than a fling with them, it’s because it’s mostly all about them, and their relationship with their careers, not about the family, or the children they have therein. The fact is that most women forget this when they decide to go this route. You sort of end up making a choice (either consciously, or sub-consciously) that money, fame, etc., is more important than a family. Us men make the same choice, but, again, it’s one that if we made it, we’re going to put off a lot of things because of it (I.E.- A family, wife, and a “normal” life).

      Combine that with the above thought, and I wonder if the reason why he left you were because you; were becoming a career woman, which may have effected his self-esteem, and you kept making him feel inferior due to the fact that you were the “bread winner”.

      Again, not knocking you for being successful, I also don’t know you personally (so don’t assume). I’m just commenting off of a couple of “red flags” I’ve picked up off your comments.

    • Esteban Tellez October 13, 2014 at 05:56 #

      Good for you but the author was not referring to cases like yours. He is speaking in general terms. Generally speaking, dating a single mother is huge pain in the neck. You’re always the third wheel, you always come second; her kids are, and should be, her priorities. She cancels dates at a moment’s notice, you can’t have a conversation without interruptions, you spend money on that kid, yuck! who needs that crap?

      • Trac October 13, 2014 at 16:21 #

        Please don’t reproduce then because here’s a wake up call; the kids should always come first whether you are a single parent or not. Married couples have to cancel date night at a moments notice, you can’t have conversations without being interrupted and yes you would have to spend money on your own kids too, so if all of that is “yuck” don’t have kids or you will just end up creating another single mother.

        • JimBob November 18, 2014 at 03:02 #

          Actually trac, I hope you never reproduce with your failure at reading comprehension: “her kids are, and should be, her priorities.” Esteban acknowledged that, and *supports* it.

          A mariied couple with kids isn’t a reasonable comparison AT ALL – they’re the *couples’* kids…completely different from taking on someone else’s kids, which likely come from poor decision making (or else they’d be married with a father!).

          THAT’s the crux of the issue – a widow is husband-less NOT by (poor) choices, while unwed mothers/divorced mothers ARE. (Not to say the hold all responsibility, but if they married a poor husband, they had a poor selection mechanism).

    • Scott Adler October 31, 2014 at 11:09 #

      Actually, I don’t think she was referring to you. You appear to be one of the divorced moms she mentioned at the top of her piece — divorced without the divorce.

    • Jack Strawb November 17, 2014 at 03:42 #

      “My fiance got me pregnant …”

      Really? What we you doing at the time?

  4. Single MOM July 27, 2014 at 13:46 #

    I’m sorry did I mention I was perfect? I thought my name was Jesus…. Ummm no… If you recall I said my ex left when my daughter was 6 months old even though he left he was a good provider. So there were 2 incomes before the split it wasn’t that hard handling the last semester on my own… and have you heard of dual enrollment??? It is possible to finish any 1-2 year degree before graduating high school…. and if your mother just so happens to be a medical professional and you follow in her footsteps it might be easier for you to get a well paying job straight out of high school to pay for college!… Obviously I was no idiot to begin with I was just naive, I had a life plan. I may have had unprotected sex before marriage but at least I was engaged for a while before hand and I’m sorry but my priest will take a “bastard” as you called her over abortion on any day…. Yes we(my priest and I) had a long talk about the situation after my ex left and what needed to be done differently, which is why I don’t have another child from someone else!

  5. Single MOM July 27, 2014 at 14:14 #

    Oh yeah and aside from paying what ever little fees I did have to pay with my paycheck I was also on a soccer and academic scholarship… and super couponing is not beneath me.

  6. Spaniard August 13, 2014 at 11:20 #

    Susan, there is nothing wrong on being a single mom.
    The point is that does not worth it, for a single childfree man, to date a single mom.
    Or, maybe is OK to date a single mom, but not spending money on her child. Or spending a lot of time as a step dad.
    I stil thinking single moms are sweet.

  7. Dave August 20, 2014 at 21:03 #

    I am in British Columbia Canada.
    In a common law relationship, if she has a kid and after 2 years she can go after you for child support.

    BUT-THE KID IS NOT YOURS and even though she is getting support from her ex.

    BUT- it doesn’t even need to be 2 years..it can be much less if she can’t afford you to leave.It may not be full support,but still.

    BUT- common law is described at a “marriage like” relationship…..and the feminists have the law stating that you don’t even need to live under the same roof!!

    BUT- she can go after half of any appreciation in property values…even though she paid no taxes no rent no mortgage AND any debts are considered to be family debts EXCEPT for mortgages ..of course!!

    I know a guy,she lived there and just after 2 years she took off…his condo went up by about $150k,she got the order for $75k but he couldn’t afford another mortgage,so had to sell the condo…..and women wonder why there’s thousands upon thousands of escorts and rub n’ tugs here.

    Notoriously picky women-statistically the pickiest in the country- and having unrealistic standards,even female dating coaches are frustrated.

    And they wonder why guys never talk to them in pubs and clubs…..

  8. erik sweum August 22, 2014 at 18:34 #

    I got dumped back on February 3rd via text message by my ex who is a single mother…i gotta say this article describes her situation to a T….after reading this im glad she dumped me…i dodged a bullet☺

    • Anthony Thomas August 22, 2014 at 22:36 #

      Many times I have not been a suitable man for Single Mothers.

      1) Decided I wasn’t worthy after she paid for dinner one night, conveniently forgetting I paid for dinner the day before. So instead a few years later, she hook up with another man that already had a girlfriend, paid for his bus ticket from North Carolina to Washington state (Vancouver).

      He stayed at her house, rent free, ate her food and didn’t help her with her eldest son who when I was interested her just started to have problems in school related to the lack of a strong male presence.

      How did she know her new live-in boyfriend was already taken? She received a call from his current girlfriend back in NC… How she got the number I don’t know.

      In the end however, she kicked him out after that and he was unable to find a job (not that he was looking). But he left her a going away present, a baby girl, born sometime around 2007 I think.

      2) I traveled all the way from Los Angeles to meet who I thought could be the future Mrs. Thomas in Oslo, Norway. Upon meeting her, I could tell she was underwhelmed; despite all the sexy talk on the phone, all I got was a peck. Hmmmm

      After visiting her apartment for about 30 mins, we set off to find a place for me to stay because as you know she was a single mother and didn’t want to explain to her five year old son where this strange man came from. Understandable, no reason to involve random men in the boy’s life if you’re not sure.

      However after having lunch and unable to find a open hostel, she excused herself claiming she needed to pick up her son from daycare. She pecked me again and disappeared down subway tunnel. About 5 mins later, I got a long text message from her saying that I wasn’t what she expected and wished me luck on finding somebody.

      So let’s review – I traveled 5,424 miles, spend up to about $1,300 in transportation cost at this point and this is the result?

      I got more but those are two shinning examples,

      • erik sweum August 23, 2014 at 01:10 #

        I wondered why she had 3 flatscreens in her house…1 in the basement. ..1 in her bedroom and 1 in her living room…found out her dad was paying for everything, even her bills…but the daughter has a rinky dink tv in her bedroom

        • Anthony Thomas August 23, 2014 at 01:19 #

          Well most of these women treat their children like second class citizens or inconveniences to their dating lives, they shouldn’t had them in the first place if that was SO important.

          Not shocked the kids have the rinky-dink tv and she has the flat screens everywhere.

          Her dad pays for it all? Spoiled Rotten

          • erik sweum August 23, 2014 at 01:53 #

            Yes…dad pays pays water…cable…house phone and cell phone…i met her through my sister and her friends. ..i deleted and blocked her from facebook….then a few months later deletes my sister from her Facebook. ..did i mention she dumped me by text message

            • Single MOM August 23, 2014 at 02:27 #

              Wow that really sucks guys I couldn’t even imagine being stranded like that Anthony I didn’t even like being away at college in a state I didn’t know let alone to travel for some who doesn’t even have the courage to tell you the truth to your face. I hope that never happens to either of you again.

          • erik sweum August 23, 2014 at 12:50 #

            Anthony, did I mention that she’s 39yrs old

            • Trac August 23, 2014 at 16:07 #

              Oh some men can be just as bad, my own brother I am sad to say is also 39yrs old and moved back in with Mommy after his relationship failed, he has a 9yr old daughter who I love to pieces but he sleeps on moms couch, doesn’t pay rent, doesn’t buy food or pay bills all this despite having a full time job.

              • erik sweum August 23, 2014 at 16:23 #

                Wow!!!…her father offered to move her and her daughter to florida…she says to my sister “i want a job or drive, i have to take care of my daughter”…my sister just shook her head in disbelief

  9. Vw August 28, 2014 at 07:08 #

    Do not date a single mom specially if she has been married 2 times . If she has a younger kid boy or girl at home and there spoiled shit bags run . Your nothing more then a live in price of ass and your wallet is a ATM machine .. Really there’re al the same most of them have mental issues and just plan to see how long you will put up with there shit before you bounce out .. It’s part of there game .. These bitches need to get real and get a job

    • Erik August 28, 2014 at 13:55 #

      My ex has 10yr old daughter. ..has 3 flatscreens…one in the basement. .one in the living room and one her bedroom. ..daughter has rinky dink tv in her room…her dad pays most of the bills…

  10. K September 6, 2014 at 14:57 #

    I would just like to say whoever wrote this article is a complete asshole and I wish your punk ass was sitting right in front of me bc I would beat the living shit out of you idiot. Was obviously written by a man only a man could be such a fucking dumbass.

    • judgybitch September 6, 2014 at 15:22 #

      No, I’m a woman, and I invite you to bring it Julie. Wear armor you little bitch. And bring some bandages. You’ll need them.

      • Trac September 6, 2014 at 16:06 #

        On another note I am curious judgybitch where do you stand on the single mothers who have chosen to give a better life to a child through adoption? In these days you don’t need a significant other to adopt so are they just as low as the rest of the single mothers you have self appointed yourself to be the judge and jury to?

      • JimBob November 18, 2014 at 03:05 #

        Go JB!

        Actually, I love the anger from some commenters – seems you’re hitting close to the bone on some issues!

        No one likes to be called out on their BS – us guys too. But thank you for calling out the BS of (some) women.

    • Trac September 6, 2014 at 16:02 #

      Just take from the article and the author what you will, she is a self proclaimed judgemental bitch, as much as I hate to admit it we live in a free country in which everyone is entitled to their own opinion. So therefore bitches can say whatever they want and we aren’t lawfully allowed to shut them up, but we can ignore them and choose to surround ourselves with people who are more open minded. Thankfully there are blogs such as this one which show us what kind of people they really are. I guess what I am really trying to say is if you ever want to keep judgemental asses and bitches away raise a kid by yourself and they won’t want to come near you ;)

    • Dave October 16, 2014 at 20:21 #

      K does not address any of the extremely valid points made. Instead she tries to use shaming language. She clearly hates men and blames all men for something that a woman wrote.

  11. JJ September 9, 2014 at 14:52 #

    I have no stability in my life right now, yet a single mom has thrown very obvious hints of interest. As horny as I am, my inner alarm is telling me to steer clear. I was once involved in a friends with benefits relationship with a single mom. Eventually, she introduced her kids to me and that’s when I freaked out. I felt weird and guilty that I was screwing their mom. Told her that it was time to call this little fling quits. We never saw each other after that.

  12. adellesy September 30, 2014 at 08:01 #

    Thankyou

  13. Crystal October 2, 2014 at 18:49 #

    I have been in three diffrent relationships and I always thought I could help the guy I was getting with. I did have kids with these men. Big mistake. I hope every man reads your comments and listens to your advice. Stay clear is what men need to do! If I may say this should be ALL women kids or no. Good luck JB.

  14. J McB October 5, 2014 at 17:36 #

    “Children of single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale: they have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more likely to grow up poor, they have lower educational achievements and experience way more behavioral problems than children who grow up with married parents. Depression, suicide, drug abuse, jail and psychiatric medications are all more common in populations of children raised by single mothers.”

    I’ll vouch for that. Apart from jail time and suicide I am, was, all of those things. I was raised by a single mother and occasionally my grandmother (who went the extra mile of instilling sense of shame just for being male…girls are better behaved, men start wars, blah blah). Even thinking back to 2 year relationship I had with a single mother and her son reflects this.

    The mind fuck is the day those women, after cutting off your parts and thwarting your spirit, then tell you to be stronger than women.

    So yeah….best to stay away.

    • pintdote November 3, 2014 at 02:08 #

      I think having a single mother affected me in similar ways, but it would have been much worse had I been born a boy. I guarantee I would have turned out to be a sociopath or convict.

      My saving grace was that I could withdraw and be quiet and sensitive whereas a boy who coped similarly would likely have been accused of being feminine and unacceptable. Plus, while paternal absence fucks up future relationships for girls, outcomes seem far worse for boys who grow up without fathers. I feel for them.

      • Dave November 7, 2014 at 00:07 #

        The empirical evidence supports what you are saying. Children who don’t have their biological father actively involved in their lives are at dramatically higher risk of a whole host of negative outcomes. Girls tend to have self esteem issues and boys tend to have anti social issues. Boys are likely to end up with criminal convictions and girls are likely to end up single mothers themselves, thus repeating the whole cycle. There are about 15 different negative outcomes but this is a quick summary for a blog post.
        What is criminal in my view is that it is not politically correct to even discuss what excluding biological fathers has done to half of an entire generation of children. That politically correct censorship is unforgivable.

      • J McB November 7, 2014 at 08:46 #

        Appreciated. I can relate to withdrawing. I lived in rural area and much of my time was either drawing comics in my room (I was banned from that eventually) or taking day walks up into the hills with my dog and finding a spot to read my fantasy novels.

        The other side of is that I didn’t know how to bond with men because I was taught male interests are bad. As a natural result I didn’t know how to talk to women (more importantly pick ones that had some resemblance of ethical virtue).

  15. Lars von Trier October 8, 2014 at 02:41 #

    You are an ignorant waste of oxygen. Gross.

  16. deti October 9, 2014 at 00:39 #

    Single moms:

    No offense, but even if you are the most responsible, kindest, most domestic, most loving, and most attractive woman in the world, you’re still a bad bet for marriage.

    You have a child by another man who is still living. That man will be in your life for the next two decades or more.

    Your life is most likely a financial mess. You have financial obligations you struggle to meet.

    You have a track record of making poor decisions. You had unprotected sex, you got pregnant by a man you probably weren’t married to. You didn’t vet your sex partner well for character or stability. This probably isn’t the first time you’ve had unprotected sex. You don’t vet any of your sex partners well. If you can’t be trusted to make good decisions with your body, why should a man trust you with his money or HIS children?

  17. Jack Strawb October 14, 2014 at 15:03 #

    “Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men. There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring.”
    .
    I was amused to see that the recent Pew Research poll included without comment single moms and obese women in concluding there were only 91 marriageable men to 100 marriageable women, all in the 25 to 34 age range. I can recall exactly one guy I knew of a great many in that age range who considered a woman in with a child either a very unlikely candidate, or completely unacceptable. Single men without children much prefer a clean… slate.

  18. JL October 28, 2014 at 04:28 #

    In my experience its tough being a single guy with no kids dating a single mom. Divorced or otherwise. Its better to get a woman with no kids. she has more time for you and is more carefree. Making a relationship happen is hard enough work without having some other guys child in the mix. Its great if you don’t mind always being number 3. This guy is very right about divorcees. Always look for the flaw! I dated a divorcee for a little while who was a professional victim. Her husband was so controlling and cruel wah wah. Don’t buy it! This girl ended up with the victim card when we broke up and i was made out to be the bad guy real quick. Saw her true colors. Listen to the author here fellas its not worth it most of the time. If you don’t have kids why settle for a woman who does? If you ask me we deserve better!

  19. pintdote November 3, 2014 at 01:47 #

    I agree with this so much, it almost hurts. Single mothers have no business dating.

    Children are already reeling from their parents’ dysfunction, and THEY need that extra attention mom is giving to xyz men. You can never say this to anybody without having them jump down your throat and talk about “moms deserve happiness too.” Their delusional desires to feel sexy and not like a mother somehow take precedence over their children’s psychological well-being.

    Have fun with your damn children. Feel good about yourself through your children. You know, the little humans you hurled into this world who’ve had their formative years rocked by your poor choices, which one way or another culminated in the destruction of the only foundation they will ever have for family. I think they need your Saturday nights more than a random guy, sorry.

    My mom was a single mother, and I forgive her for being selfish and confused. I love a few other women who happen to be single moms, I really do. They’re not bad people as a whole, but they disadvantage their children because they were raised with the mentality that their needs and their wants reign supreme.

  20. Eric November 4, 2014 at 18:53 #

    Oh my GOD!!!! I wish I would have read this almost a year ago . DAMN. I came across a wonderful little number :(:(:(:(:( I will post the story later.

  21. Ric November 6, 2014 at 21:35 #

    “When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw. It’s something big. Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide “fuck this shit. I’m outta here”.” lmfao!!!

    • Eric November 7, 2014 at 01:16 #

      Guys ! Needing some support here. I am a single father of one little girl for starters, I spent three and a half years alone getting my life in order after my divorce so I figured it was time to date , I found a woman in Ohio on POF, I am from Michigan . Things were ok for awhile then her crazy started to appear, one night about almost a year ago she freaked on me , we had a few cocktails and I must have said go slow , she took it the wrong way but I was just teasing her anyway she stormed around my house in tears and kinda yelling what do you mean go slow , mind you we only have been together for two months at this point , anyway I told her to get the F out of my house , she did and then came back telling me she couldn’t find her cell my big mistake was letting her back in the house to look for it , it ended up being in her coat pocket. Anyway she cried more I calmed her down then we had sex , she said she felt as though I was telling her the relationship was going to fast and that’s why she had a tantrum. I let her stay because it was late and I figured what the hell we all have baggage maybe I was being to hasty , she has a 12 year old son and my girl is six , my gut told me she was moving way to fast because when she was jumping up and down on my bed she screamed if I didn’t care for you I would have stayed in Ohio or found someone thae . I broke up with her the next Monday, it didn’t stay that way though for long we got back together off and on because I think we were both tiered of being alone so it ended up being an emotional roller coaster that just ended three weeks ag

      • Eric November 7, 2014 at 01:35 #

        Ago due to her having a panic attack freak out, she thought I was going to kick her out again had another tantrum and she broke it off saying shit like your invalidateing my feelings you don’t understand , I don’t feel safe in your house I did everything I could to reassure her things were fine and comfort her but it was like she was in a trans , it was Scarry . she told me I argue just like her ex and that I am passive aggressive like him , bottom line I tried to comfort her and she didn’t want me to. She is 34 with a masters degree , lives with her parents that she says don’t really show love to her and never have, her mom agording to her mad her feel worthless her whole life also .Her son also live with them during school week then goes to the Biological father three weekends a month , which the mother never married! She was married to a man that she claims verbuly was abusive and passive aggressive and also claims he raped her and or would only initiate sex while she was sleeping . she has passed on sub jobs at schools, turned down job offers from friends , but tells me she needs to get her and her son out of her parents house because its not a healthy invionment for her or him ??? She allows the ex husband around the boy to help pay for birthday and other things but claims he is abusive? And a raped her?? More and more started to surface as time went on and I am ashamed I let it continue for so long, I told her thank God I never introduced my daughter to you or your son , you are not fit to be around her . And she is supposed to have a masters in Guidance Counseling??? Oh my God shame on me .

        • Eric November 7, 2014 at 01:50 #

          That winter night I told her , maybe I am not the guy for you and she sobbed saying noooooo the sex is so good . She turns jobs down saying they are below her standard because she has a masters degree! I told her you rely heavily on men and people , she said God keeps me at my parents and he is punishing me ! I told her get up off your ass and get a job stop playing victim and Kitty party . She also relies on astrology . Oh my God I am so ashamed of my self , so finally I told her no piece of ass is worth all this shit . she basiclly home up with me because I didn’t seem to understand why she was so upset that winter night and that I was invalidating her feelings ? Who drive almost three hours arrive at midnight just to freak out the next morning , now mind you we went straight to bed when she came to my house and she said she didn’t feel good and mentioned that night so I sad your safe its ok , next morning all hell broke loose . she was shaking and moaning in my bed and almost vomited ! What the hell , I am so screwed up from all of this Guys and Gals :(

  22. HappyAndIKnowIt November 12, 2014 at 04:45 #

    Single mothers are clearly really, really bad at making life decisions…….. Not true.

    I am a single mom. I couldn’t think of anything better than being a mother to my child.

    The father of my child was my childhood love and first kiss when I was 15. Fast forward 6 years and one night we made the decision to have sex for the first time. You guessed it.. I got pregnant. No, we were never officially “together” but that does not change the fact that I loved that man and he loved me.

    Your probably wondering why I am speaking in past tense, well, 10 days after we… you know.. he was killed. I did not know at his time of death that I was pregnant, we used protection. I was devastated, just lost the man I loved, my best friend. Six weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Before anyone has something smart to say, I had my period, started it 2 days after he died. The day I took a pregnancy test I would have only been one day late, based on my cycle :)

    Can you imagine… Knowing your baby will never to get know the best dad and man they could ask for? Knowing you would always, no matter what, be a single mom?

    I would ask what your thoughts on my decision are.. Am I considered someone who puts my own happiness in front of my child’s? Should I have gotten an abortion? Should all men steer clear of me cause I am a shitty excuse of a person because I am a single mom? But… I’m not asking that. I know I am a good mother, person, professional and I also know my best friend upstairs is proud of the life I have created for our child.

    I wouldn’t wish for anyone to have to go through what me and mine have been through but I wouldn’t change having my miracle of a child for one second.

    For the record, I am a Christian and I believe in marriage. My parents have been married for 31 years.

    *i am not saying women can’t be crazy… Cause lord knows they can be*

    But think about me next time you are labeling women.. I am not technically a widow but from reading this article I would be “classified” as a single, no good, money hungry, slut of a mom.

    But really…. I want to apologize to you. You must have had one messed up life for your outlook to be this negative. Bless you heart.

    • judgybitch November 12, 2014 at 10:15 #

      You are a widow and I clearly exempted widows from the “single mom” label.

      And I am very sorry for your loss.

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