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Like poetry? Tired of white knight bullshit? Try this on for size

29 Dec

rok

 

Blair Naso, who writes at Return of Kings, has some pretty definite ideas about the state of gender relations in society, and he is unabashed at holding men just as responsible as women for the mess we are currently witnessing. There are a few people in the Manosphere who are convinced that I am an evil traditionalist woman raping my husband of resources and giving him nothing in return (except for the 3 well-mannered, loving biological children, a comfortable, welcoming home that is appreciating in value because I take care of it, healthy, nutritious, delicious food three times a day, clean clothes and frequent sex, but who cares about that stuff, amirite?), and I tend to just avoid the debate for the most part.

 

 

I have had my say on whether I am a traditionalist, and I will engage in the debate no further, because it really isn’t a debate, as far as I am concerned.

 

There are a lot of things that Blair says that I heartily disagree with, and many more things that I do agree with, but ultimately we are unified in our thinking that something has gone very, very wrong with modern relationships between men and women. Blair not only lays the smackdown over at Return of Kings, but he writes creative works of prose and poetry as well.

 

I can’t tell you how often I browse bookshops, picking up titles that have all kinds of awards and praise plastered all over them, only to read a blurb that says something like “after divorcing her husband of 20 years, Susie takes her children…. blah blah blah” and my response is always ugh no thanks with this single mother destroying her children bullshit. I don’t want to read crap like Eat, Love, Pray. It disgusts me. It’s not empowering or enchanting or even interesting. It’s sickening.

 

book

 

So for all those men who have chosen MGTOW as a philosophy, or even just men who are interested in poetry and prose, but who do not want to read gynocentric Princess drivel, I present to you The Death of Ideology by Blair Naso.  This book is an eclectic collection of poems, lyrics, parables, fables, short stories and even an email that discusses love, relationships, sex, gender and life from the perspective of the Manosphere. It doesn’t hold back on the satire, irony or sarcasm, and Blair pulls no punches when it comes to treating women like delicate flowers in need of protection. His words can be sharp and his portrayals of both men and women rather cutting, but underlying it all is a longing for a world in which men and women can love and respect one another beyond ideologies about how men and women should be. Blair is not interested in how men and women should be.

He is interested in how they are.

Here are three short pieces from The Death of Ideology, reprinted with permission.

walking_away_9-1

 

The Physics Of Relationships or Chemistry Is Not A Science

To every sin there is

An equal and opposite reaction,

So was mine the one you expected?

Were you expecting smiles and puppies

In exchange for deceit?

It’d be nice to say that

I’m glad your friends approve of you,

But the reality is that

You’ve turned them all into enemies.

 

duel

 

A Story For The Tavern

Once there was a merchant who was of a certain age when men begin to look to marry. There were two women to whom he was prospecting. One was very beautiful, but very evil. The other, her sister, was very ugly, but very compassionate, and both very much loved him. The man could not choose to whom he should marry, so he decided that they would draw straws. The lot fell on the ugly sister, and so the wedding arrangements were made.

The beautiful sister could not stand this, and so she went to see the Fool, who lay drunk in prison. He was not really a court jester, but he had always been thought of as out of his sanity, and everyone enjoyed making jokes at him, so gradually he became known thus. He was rarely sober, but since he had inherited a coal mine to the west, he had no need to work. The Fool had always loved the Beauty, as did everyone, but she could not feel the same about such an unstable man. Nevertheless, being very evil, she did have some purposes for him every now and then. Today she asked, “If you love me, then kill my ugly sister.” “Iʼll do anything for your pleasure, my lovest.” “Uh, sure…just make sure no one knows I told you to do it.” And then she quickly left, seeking to be as distanced from him as possible.

So after he was sober and freed, the Fool went into the marketplace to find the Ugly. And when he did, he shot her in the back with his revolver. Everyone was shocked at this random shooting. Women fainted and an infant began to cry. The Ugly did not even see him, and the Fool had said nothing. The Beauty saw everything, and only smiled approvingly. “Someone arrest that man!” cried a townsperson. The constable seized the Fool and took him back to jail.

The Groom, of course, was obligated to avenge the Uglyʼs death. And so he called the Fool to a duel, as was the usual custom in those parts. This greatly worried the Beauty, so she went again into prison to see the Fool. “If you love me, then empty your gun and fire blanks so that my Groom will not die.” “Iʼll do anything for your pleasure, my dovliest.” “Right…just remember your promise.”

Meanwhile, the Groom was having second thoughts. Who was he to take a life? Was that not the responsibility of the government? He was just a civilian. No, it would not be right for him to kill the Fool. But he could not back out from the fight, for, if he was to abstain from the fight and marry the Beauty, he through his great-grandchildren would be shamed throughout the whole country. No, he would not fill his gun and instead take a hit, and thus people would cry instead of laugh at his funeral.

The next day, the two men lined up to duel. The whole town came to the village square to watch. A street vendor was selling turkey legs, and another had wooden toys to be bought by children. Suddenly, the Fool realized that he forgot his revolver at his house. “Wait!” he cried. “I will send my boy to fetch it.” So his slave ran off to get him his gun. But when the boy found it, he realized that there were no bullets inside. ‘Silly masterʼ, he thought. ʻHe forgot to load his gun. I will do it for him.ʼ

The gun having been brought back, they lined up again with their backs to each other. They took ten steps as a snare drum rolled, and then they turned around to fire. The Groom fell dead, and the Beauty ran to him, tears down her face. “My love!” she cried. “For whom now shall I hope? My future is my past!” And she took his switch-knife and cut longways her wrist. The brass band continued to play, and the crowd took no notice. A journalist went around asking important people questions, and the mayor said something about the impact this will make on something else.

The Fool saw this and began to twitch neurotically. His purpose lay dead by his own doing. He checked his gun; it was fully loaded. ʻHow!?ʼ he thought. ʻDid I forget to unload it? Surely I havenʼt made such a grave mistake!ʼ With nothing left for which to live, he put another bullet into his head, and he, too, fell dead.

And so the moral is this:

Donʼt waste your short life,

Already full of strife,

On a vain woman,

An emotional omen,

For emotionʼs a blooded knife.

 

 drunk

 

Daddy’s Little Girl

Daddy’s little girl is gonna be a slut tonight.

She’ll put on the drag for the big game.

There’ll be a dance afterward,

And then she and Hot Johnny Rocket will run.

Here is the park where she used to play

As the sweetest little girl in the first grade.

There is the Baptist church where Mama

Played the pipes and daddy smelled

Like mint and oak. She’d be dressed

Up in bows and beauty like a Southern queen.

 

Hot Rocket’s burning, and he lays her down

On the picnic table at the park.

Across the street, the church looks dead.

Groaning, the wood is uncomfortable.

She can’t stretch her back right,

But Johnny has to have his prom.

Mama gave it to Rick before she married Craig.

Daddy took it from Sarah in a tent,

Like the cherry on the top of a perfect rush.

Burning faster, Hot Rocket finishes and laughs

With a tint of embarrassment.

“Wasn’t that fun?” he pretends. And it was.

The Sunday School flower girl fell in love tonight.

Hot Rocket knows how to spread his fire.

 

She’ll graduate and marry Bill,

Then shit out three kids and be the greatest

Youth football mom ever. Her sons

Will grow up to rape cheerleaders

And her daughters will let themselves be raped.

The Baptist church won’t even notice.

 

Want more? Feel free to buy the book, and indulge in some wicked and often wickedly amusing writing, brought to you by Blair Naso.

 

Enjoy!

 

Lots of love,

 

JB

Yale confirms it: When it comes to rape, “No” really does mean “Yes”!

14 Sep

This absolutely made my day.  Completely hilarious.

bitter

A bunch of obviously confused women’s studies majors, where they basically train in contradiction, irrationality and hypocrisy, decided to explain to their kindergarten adult students exactly what consensual sex looks like and what the penalties will be for failing to grasp the Rules for Fucking at Yale.

Called the “Sexual Misconduct Scenarios”, the memo is designed to get students to understand that if they are having any kind of sex that is not robotic and not routinely peppered with super romantic legalese, they are doing it wrong and will get no cookies.  No.  Cookies.

http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2013/09/10/sexual-misconduct-scenarios-released/

And also that if she says “No” a whole bunch of times and then you have sex anyways, “No” actually means “Yes” and you get ALL THE COOKIES!  Hooray!

cookies

Let’s just dive right in.

Oh, and you can ignore all the bullshit androgynous names, since Team Fucking gave up by the last one, and just called the dude Tyler.

1. Ryo and Casey are dating. Casey is uncertain about whether they should have sex, but Ryo is persuasive and finally obtains Casey’s voluntary agreement. As they engage in sex, Casey says “wait – stop – that hurts.” Ryo nonetheless continues for several more minutes, restraining Casey. Afterwards, Casey is upset. Ryo apologizes, but says they were past the point of interruption.

 

While there was initial consent, that consent was withdrawn. The UWC penalty would be expulsion.

You can see the team high fiving each other for an unmistakable slam dunk!   Woo hoo! We nailed it!

“That hurts”?  What is “that”?  Is Casey referring to a particular angle or thrust or to the whole sexual encounter? Is the hurt something that can be remedied and then carry on, tally ho?

Basically, Yale is going to expel Ryo for forgetting to bring lube? And Casey reached a degree of trauma that can only be described as “upset”? Ryo is a clod, no doubt, but in order for that to be rape, Casey is gonna have to be a little more clear.

stop

“Dude, you’re hurting me.  You need to stop right now.”

Fail.  Scenario is totally ambiguous.

2. Jessie and Vic have been flirting all semester, and agree to meet at a party. After dancing closely together for a while, Vic proposes going to one of their rooms and Jessie agrees. On the walk to Jessie’s room, they send a few texts, letting Vic’s friends know not to worry and asking Jessie’s roommate to please sleep somewhere else. Once in the room, they begin touching. Each is interested in hearing what the other wants, and each is paying attention to the other’s signals. They reach and sustain clear agreement upon mutually desired sexual activities.

This is consensual sex: Vic and Jessie reached positive, voluntary, unambiguous agreement to engage in sexual conduct together.

Vic: Baby, do I have your sustained clear agreement?

Jessie: Oh yeah, this is mutually desired activity.

Vic: Ooh, is consent still in effect?

Jessie: Mmmm, but check back in twenty seconds, honey, in case ambiguity arises.

Vic: Oh no, baby, no ambiguity.  I can get expelled for that.  Did you bring the lube?

Very. Sexy.

Fail.

Who has sex like this?  Who wants to?

3. Sidney and Harper are dating. On several occasions they are physically intimate, but within limits set by Sidney, who is opposed to having sex at this stage of their relationship. One night, when they are being intimate within their mutually agreed upon boundaries, Harper begins to cross them. Sidney expresses concern, but Harper is encouraging, saying “it will be okay just this once.” Sidney replies “we shouldn’t do this,” but continues to touch Harper in an intimate way. As Harper initiates sex, Sidney says “this is a bad idea” and begins to cry, but embraces Harper and the two proceed to have sex.

 

Initial consent was followed by ambiguity. Sidney’s acquiescence to sex was accompanied by too much dismay to constitute unambiguous agreement, especially given Sidney’s longstanding prior refusal to engage in sex. The UWC penalty would likely fall in the range of probation to suspension.

no

And BOOM!

“No” really does mean “Yes”.

Sure, Harper is probably going to face a suspension of some sort, but that’s a small price to pay for the knowledge that no matter how many times she said no, you can turn that into a yes by fucking a crying girl.

WTF?

I still wouldn’t call this rape, not by a long shot, but what kind of douchebag has sex with a woman who is crying?  If her kitten just died, or she failed an important exam or her highlights turned out just terrible, I can see the sex and tears scenario, but this is what passes for acceptable by the #rapeculture brigade?

And what is the initial consent, might I ask?  That Sidney expressed reservations but continued to touch him?  So the act of touching implies consent?

Really?

Good to know.

4. Jamie and Cameron are at a party. It is crowded on the dance floor and they are briefly pressed together. Later, Jamie encounters Cameron in the hallway and smiles. Cameron, who is now very drunk, follows Jamie into the bathroom and forces Jamie to have sex.

There was no consent to have sex. The UWC penalty would be expulsion.

Finally.  An actual rape. The appropriate reaction is a criminal conviction.  Who gives a fuck what UWC thinks?

5. Devin and Ansley are engaging in a consensual sexual encounter, which Devin begins to intensify. Ansley responds by pulling away slightly, moving Devin’s hands and saying “not so fast; I’m not sure.” Devin cooperates briefly but then intensifies the contact once more. Ansley inches backwards and then becomes still. Nonetheless, Devin has sex with Ansley.

While the initial sexual activity was consensual, that consent was not sustained. The UWC penalty would likely range from multi-semester suspension to expulsion.

 

Oh, she inches backwards and becomes still?

Yeah, no.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

If you no longer consent to sexual activity then you need to let the other person KNOW that.  Devin CANNOT read Ashley’s fucking mind.  And don’t give me this “if she goes still” it’s rape bullshit.

legs

Ever hear of the mannequin?

http://www.steadyhealth.com/I_flex_my_legs_when_I_masturbate__t133309.html

http://www.lpsg.com/109876-who-else-has-to-tense.html

http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/80936

http://dartmouthsexperts.blogspot.ca/2008/03/i-can-only-have-orgasm-with-my-legs_06.html

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121027223802AAFHqTx

http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/community/forums/thread/1519683

http://www.healthboards.com/boards/sexual-health-women/272498-can-only-orgasm-my-legs-closed-tight.html

Lots of women stiffen with pleasure.  If you’re stiffening because you are no longer down with sex, then SAY so.

Fail.

100% fail.

6. Alexis and Riley are studying together in Riley’s room. During a break in their studying, they rub each other’s shoulders. Alexis then introduces some intimate touching. Riley moves closer and says “Okay, but I don’t want to go too far – we still have a lot of work to do.” Alexis continues to touch Riley in an intimate way. Riley willingly agrees to some contact, but mostly sets boundaries. Alexis jokes that they deserve to have sex as a reward for their hard work studying; Riley laughs. After their studying is done, Alexis suggests again that they should have sex. Riley responds they should probably get some sleep but continues to touch Alexis. After a few more minutes, Alexis asks once more. Riley pauses, then says okay and pulls Alexis closer. They have sex.

 

This is consensual sex. Despite initial hesitation, the ultimate agreement to have sex was voluntary and unambiguous. There is no violation of the sexual misconduct policy. The UWC would likely counsel Alexis about the inappropriateness of sexual pressure, and recommend SHARE’s sensitivity training program.

Aaaand BOOM!

“No” means “Yes”.  Again.  And this time the price is just a little sensitivity training.

Really, Yale, what exactly are you trying to teach?

Personally, I think no means yes a whole lot of time, but this seems rather….inconsistent, shall we say with the whole No Means No argument.

I think you’re gonna have to pick one, or just throw your hands up and let individual women take responsibility for their own sexual choices.

Oh, wait.

How can you punish men if women are actually responsible for their own choices?

Such a conundrum.

7. Morgan and Kai are friends who begin dancing and kissing at a party. They are both drunk, although not to the point of incapacitation. Together they decide to go to Kai’s room. They undress each other and begin touching each other. Morgan moves as if to engage in oral sex and looks up at Kai questioningly. Kai nods in agreement and Morgan proceeds. Subsequently, without pausing to check for further agreement, Kai begins to perform oral sex on Morgan. Morgan lies still for a few minutes, then moves away, saying it is late and they should sleep.

There was initial agreement, but the bounds of that agreement were not clear. Kai may have thought that Morgan had consented to reciprocal oral sex, but took no steps to obtain unambiguous agreement. The UWC penalty would likely be a reprimand.

Seriously?  This makes approximately zero sense, no matter how you spin it.

If Morgan is the woman, then she gives a Kai a blowjob, which he has agreed to with a nod.  Then when Kai turns around and goes down on Morgan, she lies still (see mannequin, above) and then moves away.

If Kai is the woman, then Morgan kneels in front to her and performs cunnilingus, and then when Kai returns the favor and starts giving Morgan a blowjob, he lies still and then moves away.

I guess they could both be men, or both be women, but it comes down to something fairly obvious, no?

shark

Someone sucks at oral sex.

Ladies, nail down that deep throat technique, or you could face reprimand.  Gents, perfect that muff dive or your record will be permanently amended.

And I’m almost speechless…

8. Tyler and Jordan are both drinking heavily at an off-campus event. Tyler becomes extremely drunk. Jordan offers to take Tyler home. On the way, Tyler has trouble walking, and makes several wrong turns. Once in Tyler’s room, Jordan initiates sexual activity. Tyler looks confused and tries to go to sleep. Jordan has sex with Tyler.

There was no consent to have sex. A person who is incapacitated—lacking the ability to make or act on considered decisions to engage in sexual activity—cannot give consent. The UWC penalty would be expulsion.

Wow.  A case of male rape.  And Jordan gets expelled.

I’ll just hold my breath waiting for that to happen in real life.

Call me a cynical bitch, but isn’t it rather touching that the single case where gender is unambiguous, and the man is the one raped, is the very case in which drunk women are excused for their behaviour by proxy?

…lacking the ability to make or act on considered decisions to engage in sexual activity  is rape.

And who will the accused be in most of these scenarios?

Men.

Why?

Because women never get drunk and take advantage of men?

Bullshit.

It’s because men aren’t self-pathologizing, perpetual victims weeping  while constantly seeking someone else to blame for banging that fat chick while drunk.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/04/09/four-fat-chicks-walk-into-a-bar-looking-for-a-good-time/

yale

So, we can summarize the Yale Fucking Rules as follows:

  1. Being an inconsiderate sexual partner IS rape
  2. Having robotic, tedious, constantly assessing legal consent sex is NOT rape.  Or fun.
  3. Having sex with a crying woman who has continuously said no is NOT rape.
  4. Dragging someone in the bathroom and forcibly fucking them IS rape.
  5. Being unable to read someone’s mind IS rape.
  6. Pressuring someone to have sex when they would rather study is NOT rape.
  7. Being bad at oral sex IS rape.
  8. Having sex with drunk women IS rape.

Holy hell, Batman.

I think Yale is gonna have to change their motto:

Lux et veritas

Light and truth?

More like

Erratus et inconditus.

Lost and confused.

Then again, on the bright side, at least Yale has cleared up that “No” does indeed mean “Yes”.  Now they can get to work figuring out if “Yes” really does mean “Anal”.

http://bigthink.com/focal-point/no-means-yes-yes-means-anal-frat-banned-from-yale

lube

In which case, definitely do not forget the lube.

Lots of love,

JB

Some women are totally clueless about their own bodies. Obviously, that makes men terrorists. New heights in utter idiocy.

2 Sep

Let’s start with this.

terrorism

I’m……

I can’t……

WHAT?!?

Is that a typo?  She meant IGNORANCE, right?  She just has one fucked up autocorrect.  IGNORANCE is having sex your whole adult life, giving birth to six children and never having an orgasm.

This is terrorism:

wtc

It beggars belief the two things could be compared.  Orgasms and the deaths of thousands of people. Wow.  Just wow.

One of those moments where I can’t think of a single thing to say that doesn’t involve advocating beating the crap out someone.  So I’ll say nothing….

I like the six children thing a lot.  Which countries have average birthrates over 6.00?

Niger                     7.03

Mali                       6.25

Somalia                                6.17

Uganda                                6.06

Burkina Faso      6.00

Burundi is pretty close, coming in at 5.99, and Zambia gets close with 5.81, so let’s include them.

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2127rank.html

africa

So it’s just those nasty black African men who are terrorists?  I’m kind of disappointed that artist Sophia Wallace didn’t paint ALL men as terrorists because women don’t know how to masturbate, but we can count on feminism to single out bloodcurdling black men for special treatment, can’t we?

Six babies!  No orgasms!  A life of sex!  Terrorism!  Save me from the black men in Africa!

men

Sophia Wallace, you see, apparently took off her Klan robes long enough to come up with a clever little art project called “Cliteracy”, designed to convince women several things simultaneously:

cliteracy

Our sex organs are bigger and better than men’s.  Yee-haw!

size

Women are really good at masturbating.  Double yee-haw!

masturbation

Women are entitled to pleasure.  Well, duh.  We’re entitled to everything!

enititled

The right of every individual citizen to vote in elections is turned into a lie if we don’t talk about women’s sexual pleasure.

democracy

I’m not sure how that works, but if we can believe that failing to reach orgasm is terrorism, why not accept that the same situation leads to the corruption of democracy?  Once the earth is flat, does it really matter where the dragons be?

dragons

No really.  I’m not making this up.

Though the project may seem limited to the discussion about women’s bodies and female sexuality, Wallace insists that it’s really much, much bigger than that.

Not only is the project for everyone (“I love seeing men standing up for the clit,” Wallace says, adding that this is a conversation that liberates people of all genders), but she says that the clitoris can be seen as a “metaphor for freedom, body sovereignty and citizenship.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/28/cliteracy_n_3823983.html#slide=2852310

Pop Quiz:  who can explain the anatomy of a male orgasm?  The actual physical mechanics of it?  I’m sure we have all noticed that a male orgasm is almost always accompanied by a discharge of fluids that, depending on the circumstances can lead to laundry, a baby, a rejuvenating facial or a meal, but aside from that, who can explain exactly how it works?

Not me.  I really don’t know. There are some muscle contractions involved that result in extreme pleasure and force the discharge from the tip of a man’s penis, but other than that, fucked if I know how it all works.  What muscles are involved?  How deep into a man’s body do the contractions go?  Do the testicles contract?

I dunno.

Don’t really care, either.

Seriously, who gives a shit?  I know how to produce one, and take pleasure in doing so, but other than that, I’m afraid I’m not dick-literate.  I’ll bet the majority of men aren’t particularly dick-literate either, and can’t describe in anatomical detail how their own pleasure works. Again, who cares?  I can’t describe digestion in any particular detail, nor have I ever come across a situation where my life depended on distinguishing the transverse colon from the ileum (and yes I had to google “digestive system” to even come up with those words).

So what?

As long as I know how to eat, what difference does it make?

“Cliteracy” as a concept seems to accept as a baseline that women don’t know a single thing about their own bodies, and if they do, and fail to communicate that to sexual partners, it is somehow the partner’s fault.  Which is rather like saying it’s my partner’s fault if I don’t eat because I failed to tell him I wanted him to put the food in my mouth.  If I starve to death, well, that’s because he’s an asshole who never figured out that I expect to be hand-fed.

feeding

How do men discover their capacity for orgasm?  Ha, ha, I’m just kidding.  We all know the answer to that.  They wait until some willing woman comes along and shows them how it all works.  And if that never happens….well, they are just lost little duckies, with no sovereignty over their own bodies, no freedom, no hope, no future.

duck

I’ll just wait for my Princess to come and show me how my penis works….said no 12 year old boy ever.

“Cliteracy” could have been an outstanding project if it had followed two simple guidelines:

Your pleasure is your own

You are responsible for discovering and communicating what you like and need

If “Cliteracy” had been aimed at WOMEN, without attacking or reducing men to clueless fumbling idiots, it might have gained my admiration.  But of course it had to be derailed with the standard feminist operating procedures of:

Accept no responsibility ever

Cast yourself as the victim

Blame men (black men if you can)

Claim unsupportable, absurdly exaggerated consequences

Assert feminism as the solution

It really amazes me that something as astonishing as dates that conflict by over 100 years make it past the editors at Huffington post.

“It’s appalling and shocking to think that scientifically, the clitoris was only discovered in 1998,” Wallace told The Huffington Post from her Brooklyn studio last week. “But really, it may as well have never been discovered at all because there’s still such ignorance when it comes to the female body.”

Again, WHAT?!?!?!

The clitoris was NOT discovered in 1998!  Two paragraphs later, the article contains the following:

…the true anatomy of the clitoris had actually appeared in scientific literature as long ago as the mid-1800s.

Either claim, quite frankly, is completely stunning.  The Kama Sutra is thought to have been composed somewhere between 400 and 200 CE, and it contains a wealth of positions dedicated to maximizing female pleasure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kama_Sutra

Édouard-Henri Avril painted a very famous depiction of cunnilingus in 1906, and many more erotic images that were used to illustrate novels like Fanny Hill. Female pleasure was no cultural mystery even in the modern era.

You can see the painting here (NSFW)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7e/Detail_of_%C3%89douard-Henri_Avril_%2823%29.jpg

There is even some speculation that cunnilingus (or other method) assisted orgasm evolved as a sperm retention strategy so that men could be assured it was actually their own swimmers who claimed the podium, and not the sperm of some interloper the missus fancied for an afternoon of fun.

Female orgasm may play an important role in sperm competition…Men perform various behaviors to facilitate their partner’s orgasm, including vaginal penetration, cunnilingus, and manual vaginal or clitoral stimulation, and the induction method may affect the degree to which sperm is retained (Levin, 2001; Masters and Johnson, 1966; reviewed in King and Belsky, 2012).

http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP11405414.pdf

The idea that female orgasm is some new thing that men are deliberately ignoring for the purposes of punishing/oppressing women is completely laughable.

Here is the one, key slide that Wallace gets right, and in my opinion, it gets directly at the heart of things:

lying

The reason you are having bad sex ladies is because you are LYING.  Is that really so hard to figure out?  How in the name of god do you expect men to understand what gives you pleasure if you LIE to them about it?  How can any sane woman not understand that lying about what gives her pleasure will likely result in very little pleasure?

bark

Stop lying.  Assume some responsibility for your own pleasure.  Learn your own body.  Don’t blame men if you can’t even figure out how to give yourself an orgasm.  Learn how to communicate, and if you can do that without barking out orders like a Marine Drill Sergeant, so much the better.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

70%

The idea that 70% of women are going sexually unfulfilled strikes me as another pile of steaming bullshit.  You know what leads me to that belief?

The popularity of Brazilian waxes and other grooming of pubic hair.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/features/the-politics-of-pubic-hair-why-is-a-generation-choosing-to-go-bare-down-there-8539673.html

Older feminists like to posit that women groom and/or remove their pubic hair in response to either the pornification of culture or men’s uninhibited pedophilic tendencies.  The latter always makes me laugh, because I’m sure all those ladies only date men with beards, right?  No preference for men who exhibit that pre-pubescent look of no facial hair?

shaving

Fucking hypocrites.

It’s actually rather simple to explain why younger women in particular keep their ladybits neat and tidy:  it’s because no one likes hair in their food.

hairball

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/27/brazilians-are-just-good-manners-theres-nothing-worse-than-hair-in-your-food/

And here’s a hint, just for the lads:  always look at a woman’s feet.  A woman who has neat, pretty, groomed feet is likely to be well-groomed everywhere else, too.

feet

There.  I just made y’all a bit more cliterate.

You’re welcome.

Lots of love,

JB

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