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A list of things that annoyed me today

25 Sep

For those of you that follow me on Twitter, you may have seen a note my son’s second grade teacher sent home with him. He was asked to draw a pattern, so he drew bone-DNA-bone-DNA-bone-DNA.  Little bones and tiny helixes to represent DNA.  It is pretty cool, for a tiny little urchin.  The teacher thought so, too.

note

Oh, I’m so glad she’s in charge of teaching contractions to the little ones.  I hope she gets her union negotiated pay raise completely unrelated to how she does her job.

The next day, LittleDude brought home a spelling test.  He spelled egg EEG and still got perfect.

note 2

Why am I not homeschooling my kids again?  Actually, Pinkie did not attend formal school until she was 9 years old.  She was afraid of being away from me, and I didn’t feel she was going to learn anything particularly useful in the first few years anyways, so I taught her to read and do what I thought was pretty basic math at home.  She had a good handle on multiplying and dividing fractions and was fascinated by prime numbers.

Oh, oops.  That’s the curriculum for the eighth grade around here.  Kids are capable of so much more than what they are mandated to learn in school.  It’s a bit of a joke.  LittleDude, like his father, is an intensely social person.  He loves the presence of other kids, especially other boys,  and he is bored out of his mind at home with just his sister and adults for company.

So I send him to school.  Where they give him perfect grades for doing it wrong.

Le sigh.  Well, his teacher is very kind.  I suppose that counts for something, no?  She didn’t like it when I sent her a note explaining that my son wouldn’t be doing any homework, because it has absolutely no impact on learning outcomes in the primary grades and only teaches him to hate pointless “busywork”.  He’s only seven!  He’s going to learn a whole more from this awesome book of maps than he will ever learn at school.

chuck

A moment of praise for authors who write books aimed at boys who enjoy being boys!  Enough with the huggy-kissy crap.  Bring on the adventure and survival challenges!

So begins this delightful illustrated novel and the thrilling adventures of Chuck Duganheroic, resourceful, a great swimmer, and master of disguise. In each cliffhanging chapter, Chuck must grapple with a new set of dangers, from sunken ships and buccaneers to survival on open water and a final race to the treasure ahead of the Admiral and his boys. Illuminated throughout with detailed maps of places, people, and things Chuck encounters along the way, and written with an electric sense of daring-do and whimsy, Eric Chase Anderson creates a totally original and captivating hero, and a swashbuckling adventure story for all ages.

http://www.amazon.com/Chuck-Dugan-Is-AWOL-Novel/dp/0811839206/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380059149&sr=8-1&keywords=chuck+dugan+is+awol

I’m going to have cut short my post today for the second thing that really annoyed me.  I attempted to submit my first assignment containing an outline of the more detailed literature review I will be conducting as I prepare to gather the data for my PhD, and it turns out I can’t do that until I have completed the mandatory library tutorial.

angry

Are you fucking kidding me?  I have two degrees already, as does almost everybody enrolled in PhD programs, and you think I don’t know how to use the fucking library?  Is this kindergarten? A mandatory tutorial?  It’s going to take me three hours to complete it, and the biggest joke is that I just spent an afternoon teaching the actual reference librarian how to conduct searches where established models and terms are borrowed and applied in other disciplines.

Try searching for “big data”, “cluster analysis” and “mining”.  I want to see how Porter’s extension of agglomeration effects catalyzes the collection of big data with a mining cluster.  Unless you know that “big data” in this context means “business intelligence analytics” and you want to eliminate the phrase “data mining”, you are going to be awash in technical papers.  Yes, it’s total bullshit that in an effort to appear legitimate, business researchers borrow concepts like “agglomeration” and “cluster analysis” from more rigorous disciplines like computer science and biology and mathematics, but the point is, you can find what you’re looking for if you know how to sub-search the databases correctly.

But please, waste three hours of my life explaining to me what a “keyword” is, and how to use “Boolean” operators.

Assholes.

Here’s another thing that really annoyed me.  I read the column while waiting for the washer to complete the spin cycle and then emailed it to myself and then read it again, and it STILL irritates the shit out of me.

purse

Apparently, the NFL doesn’t like people bringing small bags into the stadiums, ostensibly because they present a “security threat” and it slows down admissions when bags have to be randomly searched.  The real reason is more likely that people like to avoid paying $12 for a pint of beer, so they use the bags to smuggle in their own beverages and food.

Men have been banned from bringing in knapsacks and courier bags for a long time.  Now that more and more women are attending games, the NFL has banned women’s large purses, which is obviously SEXIST because women NEED their purses.

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/24/the_nfls_ban_on_purses_is_sexist/

Note that small bags are allowed, so you can bring your wallet and phone and some extra tampons should Aunt Flo be visiting.  Cue the shrieking bitches who are entitled to bring their purses because all vaginas must carry purses and men don’t need purses because patriarchy and the only way for the NFL to be fair and treat their male and females fans equally is to let women carry bags but men can’t.

circular

Excellent logic.  The NFL should treat fans equally by having contradictory rules for men and women.

patrick

Two different stories about Patrick the Gorilla have also annoyed me.  Both Jezebel and Salon brand Patrick as sexist because he doesn’t have much love for the lady gorillas, completely ignoring the fact that Patrick is an asshole to the other male gorillas, too.

Patrick gets along well with humans but has problems with his bro gorillas — and flat-out conflicts with females.

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/24/what_a_gorilla_can_teach_us_about_fighting_sexism/

Patrick is just a dick, but of course this has to be spun into some sort of PUNISH THE MALE FOR BEING MEAN TO THE FEMALE bullshit.  What are we supposed to take away from the feminist media spin on Patrick?  It doesn’t matter that he behaves aggressively to other males.  Screw them.  Who gives a shit.  He was mean to the lady gorillas so PUNISH HIM, rah rah rah.

Mary Elizabeth Williams flat out calls male humans apes and wonders why we can’t punish them all in the same way.  You know Mary, darling, some of those commenters might actually be black people.  Black men!  Did you just call black men “apes”?

Yeah, if Glenn Beck said that he would totally get a pass, right?

If only all sexist, aggressive apes could be similarly dealt with. Is there room at that zoo for YouTube commenters?

So let this be a lesson, dudes who are not nice to females. You can be replaced, and by someone who knows how to execute a super-fresh spin. And while Patrick’s exile may just seem a fun bit of color from the wide world of animals, it’s also, sadly, one of the few concrete recent examples of a news story in which the abuse of females has any consequences for the perpetrator. A little more of that, please.

Right. Tell all the men wearing GPS monitors after being arrested for domestic violence, less than HALF of whom will be convicted of any crime at all, that there are no consequences accompanying even the allegation of abuse of women.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/07/16/this-report-on-the-use-of-gps-technology-in-domestic-violence-cases-funded-by-the-department-of-justice-will-blow-your-mind-even-when-women-are-enrolled-as-abusers-theyre-still-victims/

italian

And finally, even more rape hysteria idiocy.  Some reality TV star wrote a book about her marriage to a macho Italian guy whom she appears to love to bits.  I don’t know the whole story, I don’t watch commercial television at all.  But the following passage makes me feel like I might like both of them:

[A] woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive. She must be willing to try new things for her husband’s pleasure and her own. And, most important, she has to be available for sex.

There’s real passionate sex and maintenance sex. You need them both for a healthy marriage. Maintenance sex keeps the wheels greased, the lines of communication open, and the fights to a minimum.

Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

Okay, perhaps not the most eloquent or poetic description of how their relationship likely works in the day to day lived reality, but all more or less true, in my experience.

Jezebel’s response:

That is rape and it is insane that it got past the publisher.

http://jezebel.com/real-housewife-melissa-gorgas-new-book-advocates-mar-1371722729

Oh fuck off.  Passionate sex within a marriage is not rape.  Is there any kind of sex at all that DOESN’T qualify as rape for these ladies, or are we seeing the realization of Andrea Dworkin’s “all heterosexual sex is rape” coming to pass?

Just a few posts later, a huge discussion erupted around Jezebel’s policy of NOT posting trigger warnings.  The post is titled Powerful Satirical PSA Explains Why Rape Is Always Your Fault and the sidebar stories, in bold and pretty much impossible to miss are India Has a Gang Rape Problem and Brutal Gang Rape in Mumbai Reignites Outrage in India.  What further explanation do you require?  What do you think you are going to read about in a post with the words RAPE screaming from every second word?  Unicorns farting rainbows?

The problem, you see, is that the delicate flowers weren’t expecting there to be any depictions of violence in the PSA.  It was just supposed to be about rape.  Not rape-rape.

WeAreTheLadies

Maybe put up a trigger warning? The women in this video get brutally grabbed and get more bruised and bloodied throughout the video    Yesterday 9:35pm

http://jezebel.com/maybe-put-up-a-trigger-warning-the-women-in-this-video-1381033486

Could it possibly be more clear that North American women have no fucking clue what rape actually IS?  Rough sex between husbands and wives, sex while drunk, sex you regret, sex you went along with because you didn’t feel like informing your partner you changed your mind, sex you had because he was just so insistent, sex you felt insulted by, sex that wasn’t satisfying …. Rape, rape, rape.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/09/14/yale-confirms-it-when-it-comes-to-rape-no-really-does-mean-yes/

Let’s ask those ladies in India what rape actually looks like.  It’s VIOLENT, for one thing.  It’s a crime.  The post needed a trigger warning for depiction of reality, which ought to have sent most of the Jezebel readers screaming in the other direction pretty quickly.

Don’t forget your purses, ladies.  And watch out for sexist apes men on your way back to Delusionville.

Three hour library tutorial.

This better not be a group exercise.  I’ve had my fill of retards today.

cat

Lots of love,

JB

People need to stop being dicks on the subway by taking up way too much space. Oh wait. No, just men need to stop doing that. More equality!

16 Sep

I’m a bit cranky today, owing to the fact that I am suffering from a wicked head cold thanks to the filthy, germ-ridden little creatures who live here with me.  Kindergarten plague. Ugh.  Even so, this tumblr has pissed me off royally.  It’s called Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train.

bag guy

http://mentakingup2muchspaceonthetrain.tumblr.com/

Having spent a good deal of time on public transportation in Shanghai, Melbourne, Manchester, Toronto, Athens and Seattle, I know a bit about how to travel with a few manners.  I also know how to travel with a modicum of sense when it comes to protecting personal belongings.  And when I looked at these pictures, for the most part, I saw people taking reasonable precautions not to get their bags stolen, and not to trip people moving past them.

bags2

Almost all the men taking up too much space have large bags or backpacks between their feet, meaning that A) they aren’t taking up the seat next to them, and B) they can smush the bags against the lower portion of the seat so that people walking by don’t get tangled up in the straps.

bags 3

Why is this even an issue?  Well, duh, it’s because people men who sit with their legs apart and bags between them are trying to send a message to fellow travellers that they have really big dicks and that the entire world needs to stop spinning on its axis and accommodate said ginormous dicks.

fuck you week

Maybe these fucking idiots think we women are impressed when they act like their penis is so fucking big that they can’t even try to make room for you next to them on the bench. Because if there’s one thing we ladies like, it’s a monster dick the size of yule log (Happy Holidays!) and a man who won’t offer us a seat because it makes him slightly uncomfortable.

Anyway, these dudes aren’t going anywhere. They’ve been around forever (your pilgrim dick is not that big) and they’ll stay around forever (your cyborg dick doubles as a gun), so all we — women, children, the vast majority of men who understand the basic concepts of space and sitting down — can do is quietly rage and occasionally work up the courage to ask you to move your fucking legs. But that doesn’t mean we’re not glaring at you with the power of a thousand fuck yous when we see you treat the service that we all pay the equal amount to use like it’s your own fucking castle. Trust us, the major dick here is not in your pants — it’s you. You’re the fucking dick, so close your legs or go fuck yourself.

That little screed was part of the delightful Fuck You Week at Jezebel, and demonstrates the usual level of vitriol, bitterness, stupidity and hate we have come to expect from the ladies at good ole Jez.

http://jezebel.com/5967972/fuck-you-dudes-who-sit-with-their-legs-spread-so-wide-that-they-take-up-two-seats-your-dick-is-not-that-big

Because you KNOW it’s only ever men who sit with their legs apart on the tube, right?

women

And women never, ever keep their bags between their feet.

train

And they certainly never collapse over into someone else’s seat.

Fat woman in subway, Fat Frau in U-Bahn, Grosse femme dans le métro, Tlustá ¸ena v metru

Nor do they ever take up an inordinate amount of space giving each other pedicures on the fucking train.

women 7

They never fall alseep with their legs splayed.

women6

And they never, ever sport asses so huge they have little choice but to take up two seats.

bus 3

They don’t take up the seat next to them with their bags.

bus 2

Women never carry giant bags you just know are gonna end up shoved in someone’s crotch.

backpack

They don’t spread out their legs at the bus stop, cramming Doritos (or whatever healthy snack that is) into their fat maws while airing out the lady cave for passerbys.  Nope.  That neeeeeeeever happens.

park

This kind of idiocy and first world problem bullshit makes me so angry because it seems deliberately designed to encourage women to get on trains or other forms of public transportation, ignore all the women doing the EXACT SAME FUCKING THINGS, and just spend the journey “leaning in” to perfect their hatred of men.

It irritates me because there is no reason for it. Everyone can be as asshole on the train or bus, and sometimes the things that we consider “asshole” behaviour actually have a pretty good reason behind them.  One of my pet peeves is parents with monster strollers on public transportation.  Or anywhere for that matter.  Strollers are not required.  The number of times I took a stroller on public transportation and forced other people to trip and squish themselves against an ugly, wheeled monstrosity:  ZERO!

Hello, baby sling.

baby sling

Strollers are not required equipment, and taking them on public transportation makes most of the stroller brigade assholes.

Now, having said that, I travelled with Pixie on public transportation with 5 year old LittleBear in one of those gigantic jogging strollers that everyone had to contort themselves to get around.  LittleBear has had his abdominal muscles cut through 63 TIMES, and he isn’t very good at standing up on the subway, so fuck all the haters – he was in a super comfy stroller that maximized his comfort and forced everyone else into some momentary discomfort.

stroller

So sad, too bad.  LittleBear had a good reason to be in stroller.  Most kids have no reason.  Their parents are just dicks.

It happens.  People are assholes.  They act as though the whole damn world belongs to them, and everyone else should just put up and shut up.  What this tumblr blog is claiming is that MEN, and ONLY MEN are assholes on public transportation, and that really, really annoys me.

I don’t know if it’s just because I’m in a really foul mood today owing to the fact that I despise being colonized by the snot virus, but it seems to me that the level of hate has been ratcheted up a notch lately.  Hannah Roisin, in a recent Slate column, proclaimed that the patriarchy is dead, and that it serves little purpose for women to continue to blame their problems on a nebulous at best entity that hasn’t been in evidence in North America for at least the last 70 years.

Marble Gravestone

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/09/the_end_of_men_why_feminists_won_t_accept_that_things_are_looking_up_for.html

Critics responded by creating a list of 39 things the “patriarchy” is responsible for, including vajazzling, juice cleanses, cardio pole-dancing, peak fertility and the fact that women can’t seem to nail down those pesky Nobel Prizes in any meaningful category.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/09/39-things-well-miss-about-patriarchy.html

Yeah, peak fertility is totally the fault of patriarchy.  And so are cupcake shaped vibrators.  Totally rapey patriarchy.

cupcake

http://jezebel.com/cutesy-vibrators-rub-us-the-wrong-way-754942907

Really? That’s your fucking argument?  You’re oppressed by vibrators shaped like cupcakes?

Meanwhile, in the real news, boys continue to slide behind girls in academic achievements, which has profound consequences for our whole society and economy because boys are the ones who grow up to actually MAKE SHIT THAT WE USE.   You know, when they’re not cooling off their gonads on the train.

The achievement gap has life and death consequences for working class men, and men of color, in particular.

“Nearly half of young men of color age 15 to 24 who graduate from high school will end up unemployed, incarcerated or dead.”

Nearly half!   We are throwing away nearly half of our young men of color and the shape of your vibrator is the key issue feminists want addressed?

fuck off

http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2013/09/how-to-make-school-better-for-boys/279635/

It’s not like the problem is even difficult to remedy.  Bring back vocational and technical training at the high school level – areas of education traditionally dominated by boys, who have this weird little quirk that makes them want to DO USEFUL SHIT.

shop class

The American system for preparing young people to lead productive and prosperous lives as adults is clearly badly broken.

Failure to aggressively overcome this challenge will surely erode the fabric of our society. The American Dream rests on the promise of economic opportunity, with a middle class lifestyle for those willing to work for it. Yet for the millions of young Americans entering adulthood lacking access to marketable skills, the American Dream may be just an illusion, unlikely ever to come within their grasp. If we fail to better prepare current and future teens and young adults, their frustration over scarce and inferior opportunities is likely to grow, along with economic inequality. The quality of their lives will be lower, the costs that they impose on society will be higher, and many of their potential contributions to society will go unrealized. This is a troubling prospect for any society and almost certainly a recipe for national decline.

http://www.gse.harvard.edu/news_events/features/2011/Pathways_to_Prosperity_Feb2011.pdf

For all the impressive gains women have made in education and labor force participation, they are incapable of preventing national decline, and indeed, may even be hastening it.

Girls don’t typically grow up to do useful shit that we NEED as an economy and society to survive.  Boys are the ones who grow into the men who do the hard, dirty, difficult, challenging work of creating our machines and keeping them running.  Work that typically doesn’t take place in an air-conditioned office, and tends to be hell on manicures.

nails

The skilled trades sector is in precipitous decline, with few workers in the pipeline to replace the aging workforce.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/emsi/2013/03/07/americas-skilled-trades-dilemma-shortages-loom-as-most-in-demand-group-of-workers-ages/

The majority of those workers are men, and no doubt, will continue to be men, who express more interest in the skilled trades than women.

employment sector

http://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2009/jan/wk1/art03.htm

We’re throwing away half of our young men of color, denying all young men the opportunity to learn the skills they need to contribute to society in the way they WANT TO which happens to coincide with the way we NEED them to, and the problem we’re gonna talk about is that they take up too much space on the trains?

trains high

The trains that men designed?

Most engineers are men.

http://www.nsf.gov/statistics/seind12/pdf/c03.pdf

That men built?

Most manufacturing, especially heavy manufacturing jobs are held by men.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2012/05/03/151282913/what-america-s-women-do-for-work

That men drive?

Most train conductors are men. In fact, the 2010 census shows 0% of women working as locomotive engineers, which means there are a few, but not enough to reach 1% of the total workforce.

http://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat11.htm

That men maintain?

rails

Another 0% of women work as railroad brake, signal, and switch operators, while a whopping 6% of conductors and yardmasters are women.

http://www.bls.gov/cps/cpsaat11.htm

I have an idea.  How about until we have a rail line with trains that were designed by women, built by women, maintained by women, driven by women –  how about women shut the fuck up about how much space men take up on the train?

And try taking up a little less space yourself.

women 5

And perhaps, just perhaps, we should start talking about just who is going to continue to run our national transportation network when we throw all our public resources into educating more baristas of arts and ignore the boys who will grow up to design, build, operate and maintain our basic infrastructure?

The patriarchy may be dead, but the matriarchy certainly isn’t, and it looks poised to bring the whole world to a standstill.

cage

Force boys into smaller and smaller spaces, and you destroy us all.

How very clever.

Lots of love,

JB

Should a woman in a bikini expect to be taken seriously? No, dipshit. She should not. Neither should a man in a thong.

22 Aug

Thong alert:  some images may be NSFW

Trigger Warning:  Image of Amanda Marcotte

jessica

This is Jessica Rey.  Among other things, she is a swimsuit designer and her website features the catchphrase “Who Says It Has To Be Itty Bitty?”. Her swimsuits look like this:

rey 1

rey 2

rey 3

They’re so cute!  They’re also mostly sold out.

http://www.reyswimwear.com/

I imagine there are many reasons some women prefer one-piece swimsuits over the itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini kind, but Jessica has a pretty specific reason for offering women her stylish and more modest designs.  Jessica, you see, appears to believe that women who dislike being treated like gobs of walking meat should perhaps consider not presenting themselves as gobs of, well, walking meat.
laugh

Oh, Jessica, you silly little goose!  I mean really now.  Come on.  That’s too ridiculous! What a riot!  Who believes that?  Who actually thinks there is some sort of relationship between what you wear and how you are perceived?

amanda

Not Amanda Marcotte.  Oh, I know. She doesn’t like thongs and yoga pants, but that was AGES ago!  Thongs are out, bikinis are in!  It’s fashion, people.  These things tend to change, and opinions change with them.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/03/27/%EF%BB%BFladies-you-can-wear-anything-you-like-except-yoga-pants-and-quit-with-the-thongs-you-porny-whores/

Both Jessica and Katelyn Beaty think that if women want to be taken seriously they should consider dressing to reflect that desire.

Here, there is freedom for individual women to practice modesty not primarily to preserve men’s sexual purity, but to preserve their own dignity. To show in outward form the inward truth that they matter to society for their minds, their leadership, their passions, and their talents—talents that have nothing to do with how many heads they can turn. Modesty can become a form of female power.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/08/21/modesty_and_female_power_the_one_piece_bathing_suit_isn_t_going_to_get_women.html?wpisrc=flyouts

Rather than debate the efficacy of modesty, which I really don’t care about, let’s talk about how these standards apply to ALL THE HUMANS.  Oh, I can hear you sighing already.  We have to talk about ALL the humans?  Even the boy ones?  Again?

Ugh.

Amanda says:

The mere fact that women’s modesty is constantly being debated is evidence enough that women aren’t yet equal. If we want women “to be taken seriously,” we should, umm, take them seriously, and stop linking dignity to fabric.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/08/21/modesty_and_female_power_the_one_piece_bathing_suit_isn_t_going_to_get_women.html?wpisrc=flyouts

Well, props to Amanda for getting at least one thing right.  When it comes to dressing with dignity, women are definitely NOT equal to men.  They are way, way beneath them, and ladies like Amanda would like to keep them there.

Of course, that’s just a generalization.  Men can fail at the whole dignity thing, too, and when they do, feminists will be first in line to mock them.

Pop Quiz for Men: have you ever taken surreptitious shots of women’s assets when you are out and about in public spaces?

ass

You fucking creep.  You’ve probably never been laid.  You live in your mother’s basement, don’t you? You’re a disgusting pervert and you should be arrested for violating…. …. Well, I don’t know what, but SOMETHING!  And one guy actually was.

Thanks to a tip from a group of anonymous Redditors who are sick of seeing the CreepShots community gleefully post teen upskirt photo after teen upskirt photo while telling the “internet morality police” to “fuck off” and stop ruining their fun.

http://jezebel.com/5949379/naming-names-is-this-the-solution-to-combat-reddits-creepshots

Pop Quiz For Jezebel:  Have you ever published shots of men’s assets, taken without their knowledge or consent, either to drool over them or mock them?

jeggings-for-men

http://jezebel.com/photographic-evidence-of-why-men-should-never-wear-jegg-1053182772

hammer

http://jezebel.com/5992630/ten-questions-for-jon-hamms-penis

Ha ha ha! You rock, Jezebel!  That is so funny and edgy and cool and look at those two penises!  I love your double standards! They’re so …. hypocritical?

angry

So let’s talk about appropriate attire, double standards and the art of being taken seriously.  I’ll preface everything I am saying with the caveat that I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT YOU WEAR, but I do expect you to own your choices.  You don’t get to dress in a deliberately provocative manner and then scream when you provoke a reaction.  Whatever that reaction happens to be.

You want to wear this?

racist-lincoln-tee_design

Go right ahead.  At your all white sorority, it’s probably a screaming riot.  Go out in public, and expect to get your ass whooped, and justifiably so. Boo hoo. Consequences.

There is a very simple reason women are disproportionately treated as sex objects while men are not:  women are far more likely to ACT AND DRESS LIKE SEX OBJECTS. When you dress in a manner that puts your sexuality front and center, expect to be treated as if your sexuality is your defining feature.  YOU ARE THE ONE DEFINING IT.

Sorry, lots of all ALLCAPS screaming today, but whether or not a woman is perceived as being sexual first and foremost depends on what she is wearing and how she presents herself AND THE SAME FUCKING STANDARDS APPLY TO MEN.

Oh hello, doctor!

sexy doctor

Chef Wowza!  How ya doing?

A man in a chefs outfit with a rose in his mouth

Ooh, officer.  Is that a gun in your holster or are you just happy to see me?

cop

You can frame my walls, baby.

sexy-construction-worker

Oh, dude.  No.  Just put it away.

thong

Men can show up at work in any of these outfits.  They are incredibly unlikely to do so, and if they do, you can be pretty sure they will be fired on the spot.  In the dubious event they are actually permitted to do their jobs, who thinks they will be treated with gravity, dignity and respect?

Women who go to work wearing this:

women sleeveless

Will get all the same respect as a man wearing this:

men sleeveless

This mechanic can work on my car:

mechanic

So can this one:

girl mechanic

Both of them will remain in my mind as meat because their chosen attire has requested that I see them as human meat for my viewing pleasure.

This mechanic doesn’t want to viewed as a walking sex toy.

mech 1

Neither does this one:

mech 2

Only one of the four mechanics above is likely to scream and thrash and cry that she is being objectified and denied her humanity and sexualized.

It mystifies me.  It really does.  What is the point of wearing clothing and accessories deliberately designed to enhance your sexuality and then screaming that the only thing anyone ever values you for is your sexuality?

The honest truth is that UNLESS you consciously and knowingly put forth your sexuality as the aspect of yourself you most want people to see and value, they won’t!  Men, for example, notice a woman’s EYES AND SMILE long before they notice her rack.  Unless she’s shoved her puppies into a push-up bra and left her shirt half undone.

secretary

Women, too, will notice a man’s EYES AND SMILES before they check out his height and they will almost never notice his package because men TEND NOT TO DISPLAY THEIR DICKS overtly.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2398812/Men-notice-womans-eyes-smile-breasts-according-research-Murine.html

You can be sure if crotch cleavage ever becomes popular, women’s eyes will be traveling to the crotch area pretty rapidly.

man-cleavage

Crotch cleavage will NOT becoming a trend anytime soon. Know why?  Because it’s ridiculous. Absurd.  Stupid.  It invites people to dismiss the man displaying his MagicJohnson as an idiot.  Someone not really worthy of respect or admiration.  Really?  Your dick?  That’s what you have to offer?  That’s how you want to be defined?

How is it that men seem to get this, while women do not.  If you dress to emphasize your sexuality you are implying that your sexuality is what you have to offer.  Not your skills, or talents or passions or even your conscientiousness.  Put your tits front and center, and you will be valued for your tits AT YOUR OWN REQUEST.

bikini

If you want to wear a bikini at the beach, go right ahead.  Wear it anywhere you like.  But understand that walking around virtually naked is not going to lend any help if your goal is to be taken seriously.  As if you have something to contribute other than your ass.  Assuming of course, you DO have something other than that to offer.

Men at the beach wearing this can expect a certain reaction.

Businessman Promote New Mobile Phone Network on The Serpentine

It’s unlikely to involve respect.  Is there a man alive who doesn’t understand that?  Show up at the office pool party wearing this:

man thong

And you have just blown your career straight to hell.  Unless you’re an underwear model. Or a porn star.  And ladies, show up at the office pool party in a string bikini, and expect the exact same response.

The alternative is NOT a burkha.  Bullshit.  Jessica Rey has provided lots of alternatives.  The world is full of alternatives.  All it takes is for women to understand that what you wear CAN and WILL have an effect on those around you.  Not all those effects will be positive.

Sexuality at work is a powerful thing. No doubt about it.  But ladies, if you are going to wield that sword for your benefit, understand the blade cuts both ways.

http://judgybitch.com/2012/12/06/hey-career-ladies-sex-your-way-to-the-top-and-if-that-doesnt-work-sue-the-bastards-for-sexual-harassment-2/

Now go put some fucking clothes on.

Lots of love,

JB

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