Lol, okay not everyone, but a good chunk of people are discussing what really constitutes rape over at Thought Catalog. The article has been shared over 350K times!
Are those stories true? Actually, they are. And neither of them were rape, at least not to any sane person. The first guy, John (yes, that really is his name) was taking things slow with me because he was in a guy quandary. Although he wasn’t a “hang out in the backyard” friend of my older brother, they had a lot of mutual friends, and he was skirting awfully close to the “don’t fuck my sister unless you are serious” rule.
I grew up in small town and my brothers were known for being “protective” of their sister, although they had little reason to be. I went on my first “date”, to a movie, the summer between Grade 8 and Grade 9 and that first date lasted until about halfway through Grade 12. I bypassed the entire drama of highschool dating by having the same boyfriend pretty much the entire time. And here’s a true confession – I wonder what you will all make of this. The relationship ended amicably and we remained friends, because my boyfriend was finally ready to admit he preferred the company of other men. Not only did I bypass the drama of teenage dating, I bypassed any potential sexual pressure because he really was more interested in being my friend and weaving daisies in my hair.
My brothers like to joke that I was so appealing as a girlfriend, I made my boyfriend gay, but the reality is much more harsh, I’m afraid. Most people were incredibly homophobic. I probably saved his life, although I was not aware I was doing so. I certainly saved him from years of torment, and sad to say, that torment is still visited on individuals who are open about their sexuality during adolescence. He really was a dream highschool boyfriend, though. The point of that story is that by the time I was dating John, my hormones were raging and I was ready.
I also really loved him.
John was, and still is, a terrific man. I have, on occasion, stalked him on Facebook, where I see images of him and his wife and their four children. They seem genuinely, deeply happy, and I am happy for them. He really did propose to me, and I turned him down because I thought we were too young. I bought the “go to college and find yourself – marriage is a trap and children suck” feminist rah rah rah you go girl Koolaid. That day in his backyard was not our first time, but he was twitchy as hell about my brothers knowing the extent of our relationship and it was the middle of the day! He wasn’t thrilled with the idea of his brothers showing up either. But I really did jump him and after that, we became very seriously involved, leading to the proposal. I’m not generally aggressive, but sometimes, especially when it’s unexpected, that can be fun!
The second guy, Ryan, is exactly as I described him and we played a mutual “you are gonna be late game”. I would get out of the shower and he would drag me into the bedroom, despite my protests that I had to go to class/work/the library/whatever. It was all by mutual arrangement. If I really was running late, especially for work, he wouldn’t even think of playing the game, and neither would I. As I wrote in the comments at Thought Catalog, those games allowed me all the thrills of being slutty without actually being a slut. I met Ryan when we both auditioned for a play a few weeks after we started college, and we dated all the way through college and stayed together for several months after graduation. Sounds obnoxious, but it’s true. Same guy all the way through highschool, same guy all the way through college. I think growing up in a house full of men gave me great instincts. I picked terrific men because that is all I’ve ever really known.
Ryan also proposed but I did not like his inherited wealth. I was seriously concerned that he would not be able to handle the sacrifices of parenthood since making sacrifices or doing without was not something he had ever really experienced. I was very, very wrong. His sister passed away about a year after we parted, leaving her two small children behind her, and their father had mental health issues that did not allow him to be a sole care-giver for them. Ryan sold his store and moved into his sister’s house and became the full time caregiver for his niece and nephew, who will have very few, if any memories of their life without Uncle Daddy. I guess I should have trusted my instincts.
No real harm done, though, as I went for a hat trick and met my husband the first day of the MBA program we were both enrolled in and here we are three children and sixteen years later. And yes, he gets “raped” the same way Ryan and John did. Not often. As he might say “not often enough” because well-timed and unexpected aggression can be quite … stimulating.
I honestly feel sorry for men and women on college campuses today, denied the ability to explore their sexuality and personalities in the way I was able to do because rape hysteria didn’t exist. Yes means yes affirmative consent laws are unambiguous. Under the law, I most certainly am a serial rapist.
Serial rapists no doubt love the feminist hysterics that have led to this insanity of making what amounts to ordinary human sex into rape, because when everything is rape, nothing is. When every man is a rapist, it makes it that much easier for a real rapist to hide. And the nasty, poorly thought out truth is that by feminist definitions, it’s not just every man who is a rapist.
Every woman is, too.
Peachy, ladies. Thanks for nothing.
Lots of love,