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Well, well, well – look at this. Is the conversation about #rapeculture starting to take on a shade of sanity?

16 Oct

These two articles are only tangentially related to the main story today, but they demonstrate just how schizophrenic mainstream, feminist-influenced media has become.

This is Maria Kang, the mother of three children, who is *gasp* not a lardass, and who feels like other women can make the decision not to be lardasses themselves.

The horror!

maria

She got called all kinds of names by women who feel “fat-shamed” by Maria and her three gorgeous sons and her sculpted abs and Maria is just such a bitch to point out that when it comes to weight, for most of us, it’s “your body, your choice”.

Blah blah blah BEAUTY STANDARDS blah blah blah FAT ACCEPTANCE blah blah blah SEXUAL OBJECTIFICATION blah blah blah….

http://jezebel.com/fit-ab-baring-mom-issues-faux-pology-over-judgey-faceb-1445844576

Nothing particularly surprising about that, except when you consider it next to this article about Melissa McCarthy.

melissa

Now all of sudden the bitchy whiners are on the opposite side of the fence.

HER COAT IS TOO BIG WHY DIDN’T YOU OVERTLY SEXUALIZE HER WE CAN’T SEE HER TITS OH MY GOD THIS IS SEXIST AND FATPHOBIC AND I DEMAND TO SEE MORE SKIN

http://www.thegloss.com/2013/10/10/fashion/melissa-mccarthy-reese-witherspoon-penelope-cruz-shailene-woodley-elle/

What

The

Fuck?

Could you pick a goddamn side here?  Are we sexualizing actresses and forcing them to display their bodies in a totally demeaning way that simply needs to stop, or are we not?  Is it only acceptable when fat women are sexualized? Why would that be?  Do we have an agenda here, whereby fat lumpy women are the only acceptable objects of sexual desire?

The incoherence is turning the conversation about bodies and objectification and sexism into a joke that even the thickest plank can recognize.

And the same thing appears to finally be happening with #rapeculture.  We have the “new Steubenville” all over the news today, with two young teenage girls alleging they were raped by local football stars, one of whom happens to be politically connected.

http://www.kansascity.com/2013/10/12/4549775/nightmare-in-maryville-teens-sexual.html

It’s the same story, all over again.  Daisy liked Matthew and she found his attention flattering.  Daisy and Paige got hammered one night and Daisy texted Matthew and a meeting was arranged.  Everyone drank a whole lot of alcohol and sex happened.  Rather than pledging his undying love for Daisy, Matthew took her home and left her semi-conscious on her front lawn in freezing temperatures.

That was a dick move, for sure.

But what if it hadn’t happened that way?  What if Matthew had tucked her into his bottom bunk and wrapped her up in his favourite flannel sleeping bag and greeted her the next morning with some toast and tea and asked her to go steady?

couple

Would it still be rape? Or just a hilarious story they recounted to the cheerleading squad about how it all began?

http://judgybitch.com/2013/10/10/hypothesis-its-only-rape-when-he-doesnt-fall-in-love/

Maybe Matthew did rape Daisy.  Maybe it all went down just as the two girls claim it did.  Maybe it was straight up voracious sexual predator takes down innocent prey. The trouble with that story is that the PREY MADE HERSELF VULNERABLE.

Cue the screams of “victim-blaming”…. Don’t fucking bother leaving your comments on this blog, because I won’t publish them.

seatbelt

Wear your seatbelt.  It’s a sensible precaution if you get in an accident.  The accident may not be your fault, but it will be your fault if you get severely injured by failing to take that reasonable precaution.

Wear a helmet when you ride your bike.  It’s a sensible precaution if you get in an accident.  The accident may not be your fault, but it will be your fault if you get severely injured by failing to take that reasonable precaution.

 

It’s not victim-blaming.  It’s victim-preventing.

And finally, some voices come out of the dark to state the obvious:  Emily Yoffe at Slate earned herself a mountain of hate by writing The best rape prevention: tell college women to stop getting so wasted.

 

Young women are getting a distorted message that their right to match men drink for drink is a feminist issue.

As soon as the school year begins, so do reports of female students sexually assaulted by their male classmates. A common denominator in these cases is alcohol, often copious amounts, enough to render the young woman incapacitated. But a misplaced fear of blaming the victim has made it somehow unacceptable to warn inexperienced young women that when they get wasted, they are putting themselves in potential peril.

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/10/sexual_assault_and_drinking_teach_women_the_connection.html

Emily’s solution to this problem is to try and move the cultural conversation towards attaching shame and stigma to being black-out wasted.

I don’t believe any of these statistics will move in the right direction until binge drinking joins smoking, drunk driving, and domestic abuse as behaviors that were once typical and are now unacceptable. Reducing binge drinking is going to require education, enforcement, and a change in campus social culture. These days the weekend stretches over half the week and front-loading and boot and rally are major extracurricular activities. Puking in your hair, peeing in your pants, and engaging in dangerous behaviors have to stop being considered hilarious escapades or proud war stories and become a source of disgust and embarrassment.

Fair enough.  It really is getting rather nauseating, watching drunk young women act like base animals in the street. This girl is actually shitting on the sidewalk, in full view of pedestrians.

shitgirl

Seriously?  Gross.  Her friend joins her a few minutes later to urinate on the same piece of sidewalk.  Disgusting.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2461512/Swansea-woman-pictured-defecating-street.html

I’m delighted to see Emily at least tackle the problem, but “stop binge drinking” is not going to work anymore than prohibition worked.  The real solution is for both women and men to have a sense of loyalty and solidarity with their friends.

You never leave your man behind.

Or in this case, your woman.

It’s deeply ingrained in male culture.  The Marine who drops back to help a little boy finish his 5K race.  I defy you not to cry.

That feeling used to be part of female culture, too.

You play for a team, and you keep each other safe.  Every person I know who is over the age of 30 greets that idea with “well, duh”.  Why don’t young women do this anymore?  Why don’t they protect each other, not from “ooh scary rapists lurking everywhere”, but from their own impaired judgement?

It must be partly because women simply don’t think they should be held responsible for impaired judgement, but also because the mantra of “strong, independent woman” forecloses the possibility of “stupid, irresponsible girl”.

Daisy and Paige were stupid.  Paige is now coming forward with her story, claiming the boys “separated them and made them drink more”.  Oh really?  So they forcibly dragged you into separate rooms and sat on your chests and poured alcohol down your throats?

Really?

I doubt it.

http://jezebel.com/the-second-alleged-maryville-rape-victim-speaks-it-wa-1446110042

Daisy and Paige let each other down.

Apparently, there is video footage of at least one couple having sex.  Perhaps it really does show an assault.  Perhaps not.  Whatever it shows, that shouldn’t stop us from pointing out that girls like Daisy and Paige and the Steubenville girl and every other girl who wakes up after a night of shit-faced idiocy feeling ashamed and grubby and used played a part in her own degradation.

Thank you, Emily, for bringing the conversation more into the mainstream.  I hope she doesn’t get fired for stating the obvious, but you know, I won’t be surprised if she does.  Wait ‘til Amanda Marcotte reads that piece!

witches

There’s gonna be a storm of cackling witches over at Slate, out for Emily’s blood!  Poor dear.  Take a page from the British Bulldog, and hold fast.

The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.

Winston Churchill

Lots of love,

JB

Yale confirms it: When it comes to rape, “No” really does mean “Yes”!

14 Sep

This absolutely made my day.  Completely hilarious.

bitter

A bunch of obviously confused women’s studies majors, where they basically train in contradiction, irrationality and hypocrisy, decided to explain to their kindergarten adult students exactly what consensual sex looks like and what the penalties will be for failing to grasp the Rules for Fucking at Yale.

Called the “Sexual Misconduct Scenarios”, the memo is designed to get students to understand that if they are having any kind of sex that is not robotic and not routinely peppered with super romantic legalese, they are doing it wrong and will get no cookies.  No.  Cookies.

http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2013/09/10/sexual-misconduct-scenarios-released/

And also that if she says “No” a whole bunch of times and then you have sex anyways, “No” actually means “Yes” and you get ALL THE COOKIES!  Hooray!

cookies

Let’s just dive right in.

Oh, and you can ignore all the bullshit androgynous names, since Team Fucking gave up by the last one, and just called the dude Tyler.

1. Ryo and Casey are dating. Casey is uncertain about whether they should have sex, but Ryo is persuasive and finally obtains Casey’s voluntary agreement. As they engage in sex, Casey says “wait – stop – that hurts.” Ryo nonetheless continues for several more minutes, restraining Casey. Afterwards, Casey is upset. Ryo apologizes, but says they were past the point of interruption.

 

While there was initial consent, that consent was withdrawn. The UWC penalty would be expulsion.

You can see the team high fiving each other for an unmistakable slam dunk!   Woo hoo! We nailed it!

“That hurts”?  What is “that”?  Is Casey referring to a particular angle or thrust or to the whole sexual encounter? Is the hurt something that can be remedied and then carry on, tally ho?

Basically, Yale is going to expel Ryo for forgetting to bring lube? And Casey reached a degree of trauma that can only be described as “upset”? Ryo is a clod, no doubt, but in order for that to be rape, Casey is gonna have to be a little more clear.

stop

“Dude, you’re hurting me.  You need to stop right now.”

Fail.  Scenario is totally ambiguous.

2. Jessie and Vic have been flirting all semester, and agree to meet at a party. After dancing closely together for a while, Vic proposes going to one of their rooms and Jessie agrees. On the walk to Jessie’s room, they send a few texts, letting Vic’s friends know not to worry and asking Jessie’s roommate to please sleep somewhere else. Once in the room, they begin touching. Each is interested in hearing what the other wants, and each is paying attention to the other’s signals. They reach and sustain clear agreement upon mutually desired sexual activities.

This is consensual sex: Vic and Jessie reached positive, voluntary, unambiguous agreement to engage in sexual conduct together.

Vic: Baby, do I have your sustained clear agreement?

Jessie: Oh yeah, this is mutually desired activity.

Vic: Ooh, is consent still in effect?

Jessie: Mmmm, but check back in twenty seconds, honey, in case ambiguity arises.

Vic: Oh no, baby, no ambiguity.  I can get expelled for that.  Did you bring the lube?

Very. Sexy.

Fail.

Who has sex like this?  Who wants to?

3. Sidney and Harper are dating. On several occasions they are physically intimate, but within limits set by Sidney, who is opposed to having sex at this stage of their relationship. One night, when they are being intimate within their mutually agreed upon boundaries, Harper begins to cross them. Sidney expresses concern, but Harper is encouraging, saying “it will be okay just this once.” Sidney replies “we shouldn’t do this,” but continues to touch Harper in an intimate way. As Harper initiates sex, Sidney says “this is a bad idea” and begins to cry, but embraces Harper and the two proceed to have sex.

 

Initial consent was followed by ambiguity. Sidney’s acquiescence to sex was accompanied by too much dismay to constitute unambiguous agreement, especially given Sidney’s longstanding prior refusal to engage in sex. The UWC penalty would likely fall in the range of probation to suspension.

no

And BOOM!

“No” really does mean “Yes”.

Sure, Harper is probably going to face a suspension of some sort, but that’s a small price to pay for the knowledge that no matter how many times she said no, you can turn that into a yes by fucking a crying girl.

WTF?

I still wouldn’t call this rape, not by a long shot, but what kind of douchebag has sex with a woman who is crying?  If her kitten just died, or she failed an important exam or her highlights turned out just terrible, I can see the sex and tears scenario, but this is what passes for acceptable by the #rapeculture brigade?

And what is the initial consent, might I ask?  That Sidney expressed reservations but continued to touch him?  So the act of touching implies consent?

Really?

Good to know.

4. Jamie and Cameron are at a party. It is crowded on the dance floor and they are briefly pressed together. Later, Jamie encounters Cameron in the hallway and smiles. Cameron, who is now very drunk, follows Jamie into the bathroom and forces Jamie to have sex.

There was no consent to have sex. The UWC penalty would be expulsion.

Finally.  An actual rape. The appropriate reaction is a criminal conviction.  Who gives a fuck what UWC thinks?

5. Devin and Ansley are engaging in a consensual sexual encounter, which Devin begins to intensify. Ansley responds by pulling away slightly, moving Devin’s hands and saying “not so fast; I’m not sure.” Devin cooperates briefly but then intensifies the contact once more. Ansley inches backwards and then becomes still. Nonetheless, Devin has sex with Ansley.

While the initial sexual activity was consensual, that consent was not sustained. The UWC penalty would likely range from multi-semester suspension to expulsion.

 

Oh, she inches backwards and becomes still?

Yeah, no.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

If you no longer consent to sexual activity then you need to let the other person KNOW that.  Devin CANNOT read Ashley’s fucking mind.  And don’t give me this “if she goes still” it’s rape bullshit.

legs

Ever hear of the mannequin?

http://www.steadyhealth.com/I_flex_my_legs_when_I_masturbate__t133309.html

http://www.lpsg.com/109876-who-else-has-to-tense.html

http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/80936

http://dartmouthsexperts.blogspot.ca/2008/03/i-can-only-have-orgasm-with-my-legs_06.html

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121027223802AAFHqTx

http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/community/forums/thread/1519683

http://www.healthboards.com/boards/sexual-health-women/272498-can-only-orgasm-my-legs-closed-tight.html

Lots of women stiffen with pleasure.  If you’re stiffening because you are no longer down with sex, then SAY so.

Fail.

100% fail.

6. Alexis and Riley are studying together in Riley’s room. During a break in their studying, they rub each other’s shoulders. Alexis then introduces some intimate touching. Riley moves closer and says “Okay, but I don’t want to go too far – we still have a lot of work to do.” Alexis continues to touch Riley in an intimate way. Riley willingly agrees to some contact, but mostly sets boundaries. Alexis jokes that they deserve to have sex as a reward for their hard work studying; Riley laughs. After their studying is done, Alexis suggests again that they should have sex. Riley responds they should probably get some sleep but continues to touch Alexis. After a few more minutes, Alexis asks once more. Riley pauses, then says okay and pulls Alexis closer. They have sex.

 

This is consensual sex. Despite initial hesitation, the ultimate agreement to have sex was voluntary and unambiguous. There is no violation of the sexual misconduct policy. The UWC would likely counsel Alexis about the inappropriateness of sexual pressure, and recommend SHARE’s sensitivity training program.

Aaaand BOOM!

“No” means “Yes”.  Again.  And this time the price is just a little sensitivity training.

Really, Yale, what exactly are you trying to teach?

Personally, I think no means yes a whole lot of time, but this seems rather….inconsistent, shall we say with the whole No Means No argument.

I think you’re gonna have to pick one, or just throw your hands up and let individual women take responsibility for their own sexual choices.

Oh, wait.

How can you punish men if women are actually responsible for their own choices?

Such a conundrum.

7. Morgan and Kai are friends who begin dancing and kissing at a party. They are both drunk, although not to the point of incapacitation. Together they decide to go to Kai’s room. They undress each other and begin touching each other. Morgan moves as if to engage in oral sex and looks up at Kai questioningly. Kai nods in agreement and Morgan proceeds. Subsequently, without pausing to check for further agreement, Kai begins to perform oral sex on Morgan. Morgan lies still for a few minutes, then moves away, saying it is late and they should sleep.

There was initial agreement, but the bounds of that agreement were not clear. Kai may have thought that Morgan had consented to reciprocal oral sex, but took no steps to obtain unambiguous agreement. The UWC penalty would likely be a reprimand.

Seriously?  This makes approximately zero sense, no matter how you spin it.

If Morgan is the woman, then she gives a Kai a blowjob, which he has agreed to with a nod.  Then when Kai turns around and goes down on Morgan, she lies still (see mannequin, above) and then moves away.

If Kai is the woman, then Morgan kneels in front to her and performs cunnilingus, and then when Kai returns the favor and starts giving Morgan a blowjob, he lies still and then moves away.

I guess they could both be men, or both be women, but it comes down to something fairly obvious, no?

shark

Someone sucks at oral sex.

Ladies, nail down that deep throat technique, or you could face reprimand.  Gents, perfect that muff dive or your record will be permanently amended.

And I’m almost speechless…

8. Tyler and Jordan are both drinking heavily at an off-campus event. Tyler becomes extremely drunk. Jordan offers to take Tyler home. On the way, Tyler has trouble walking, and makes several wrong turns. Once in Tyler’s room, Jordan initiates sexual activity. Tyler looks confused and tries to go to sleep. Jordan has sex with Tyler.

There was no consent to have sex. A person who is incapacitated—lacking the ability to make or act on considered decisions to engage in sexual activity—cannot give consent. The UWC penalty would be expulsion.

Wow.  A case of male rape.  And Jordan gets expelled.

I’ll just hold my breath waiting for that to happen in real life.

Call me a cynical bitch, but isn’t it rather touching that the single case where gender is unambiguous, and the man is the one raped, is the very case in which drunk women are excused for their behaviour by proxy?

…lacking the ability to make or act on considered decisions to engage in sexual activity  is rape.

And who will the accused be in most of these scenarios?

Men.

Why?

Because women never get drunk and take advantage of men?

Bullshit.

It’s because men aren’t self-pathologizing, perpetual victims weeping  while constantly seeking someone else to blame for banging that fat chick while drunk.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/04/09/four-fat-chicks-walk-into-a-bar-looking-for-a-good-time/

yale

So, we can summarize the Yale Fucking Rules as follows:

  1. Being an inconsiderate sexual partner IS rape
  2. Having robotic, tedious, constantly assessing legal consent sex is NOT rape.  Or fun.
  3. Having sex with a crying woman who has continuously said no is NOT rape.
  4. Dragging someone in the bathroom and forcibly fucking them IS rape.
  5. Being unable to read someone’s mind IS rape.
  6. Pressuring someone to have sex when they would rather study is NOT rape.
  7. Being bad at oral sex IS rape.
  8. Having sex with drunk women IS rape.

Holy hell, Batman.

I think Yale is gonna have to change their motto:

Lux et veritas

Light and truth?

More like

Erratus et inconditus.

Lost and confused.

Then again, on the bright side, at least Yale has cleared up that “No” does indeed mean “Yes”.  Now they can get to work figuring out if “Yes” really does mean “Anal”.

http://bigthink.com/focal-point/no-means-yes-yes-means-anal-frat-banned-from-yale

lube

In which case, definitely do not forget the lube.

Lots of love,

JB

Drunk sex is NOT rape

21 Aug

Well, the avuncular Dr. Phil has found himself enmeshed in the quite the controversy, following his Twitter question about whether or not having sex while drunk is okay.

tweet

The Professional Victim Brigade ™ and Purveyors of Rape Culture and Other Guaranteed Snake Oil Cures ™ were all over him, demonstrating their outstanding grasp of logic, rhetoric and just straight up mastery of the English language by interpreting Dr. Phil’s question as IS IT OKAY TO RAPE WOMEN?  Which is obviously the same thing as asking whether having sex while drunk is okay.

drinks

Alcohol + Sex = Rape

Oh, I suppose this is when I should mention that it’s only rape if the WOMAN is drunk.  Men can’t get drunk, so obviously, they can’t be raped.  Wait, no.  That’s wrong.  Men can’t get erect when they’re drunk and if they CAN, then obviously, they totally wanted it!  No rape!  Actually that might be wrong, too.  Men can’t escape their legal responsibilities no matter how drunk they are, so they can’t be raped.  Crap.  I’m not sure how it’s supposed to work, but just go with me on this one.

It’s only rape if SHE is drunk.

Let’s try an analogy to sort this out.

Yoo hoo!  Lost Sailor!  Where are you?  Come and play for a second.

So me and Lost Sailor decide to hit up a vineyard for some wine-tasting.  It’s out of the way, we’re driving and we both plan on sampling a whole lot of grape!

wine

The Cab-Sav is okay.  Maybe a bit too much like jam and not enough like blood.  The Merlot is much better. Oooh, look.  18 varieties of Merlot!  We’ll try them all!

wine 2

By the time the Shiraz is down and the Zin is beckoning, we are both well and truly trashed.  And having a great time!  It’s what we went there to do, for god’s sake!  The whole point of wine-tasting is to taste wine!

sunset

Now Lost Sailor decides we are just crazy to pass up on watching the sunset at that sweet little look-out spot we cruised by on our way up to the vineyard.  I enthusiastically agree!  So we both stagger to the car, and off we go!

Oh dear.

crash

Lost Sailor is fucked.  He has no defense.  He was drunk, he willingly got behind the wheel of the car and he made the decision to put it in gear and drive.  He will now own those decisions.  He’s up on a drunk driving charge.

But wait!  What about meeeeeeee? I hurt my foot and broke a nail.  It could have been much worse.  I want Lost Sailor charged with attempted murder.  I was way too drunk to understand that A) Lost Sailor was drunk, too; and B) I was way too drunk to consent to riding in a car with a drunk driver.

He could have killed me!  He almost did!  By the very act of driving, no matter how enthusiastic I was about the sunset, he ATTEMPTED TO KILL ME.

sulk

He needs to be held responsible for that. It’s not a crime for me to sit in the passenger seat.  What crime have I committed?  I went to a wine-tasting.  No crime there.  I had a LOT of wine.  No crime there. I wanted to see the sunset.  Still no crime. I got in the car.  I even PUT MY SEATBELT on. Not even the hint of a crime.

But he crashed the car, fucked up my manicure and endangered my precious life.

Attempted murder.  Along with the drunk driving charge.

This is essentially the argument Rape Culture Vultures are making when they insist that drunk women cannot consent to sex, and that no matter how enthusiastically they participated at the moment, they cannot be held responsible for their decisions.

The men most certainly will be NO MATTER HOW DRUNK THEY HAPPEN TO BE. Drive a car while drunk?  You will face the consequences.  Get in a stupid fist fight while drunk? You will face the consequences.  Forget to pay for your bar tab because you are drunk?  You will face the consequences.  Have sex with an equally drunk woman?  You will face the consequences.  You will accept all the responsibility for your OWN actions, and for hers as well.

baby

This is what I mean when I say Rape Culture infantilizes women.  The idea that women cannot consent to sex while drunk robs them of agency, responsibility, accountability and obviously, equal treatment before the law.

drunk

drunk 2

Can we make a distinction between drunk and totally obliterated?  That’s almost too stupid to even address.  Comatose is fairly easy to distinguish from silly, dancing drunk girl. No one gets to have sex with people who are passed out.  The only people who actually need to be informed of that don’t give a shit.  Why not?  Because they’re RAPISTS.  There aren’t a whole lot of them, but you can bet your ass they don’t give a shit what the rules are.  Not caring about the rules is what makes them CRIMINALS.

Campaigns to inform the sweeping majority of men who are NOT RAPISTS that they should remember not to rape anybody are insulting, degrading and calculated to inspire fear from women and self-loathing from men.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/07/11/dont-be-that-guy-lets-talk-about-those-rape-posters/

Dr.Phil has a legitimate question:  is it okay to have sex with a girl who is drunk?

Define drunk, first of all.

breath

Is it okay to drive a car while drunk? The answer to that requires a LEGAL definition of drunk.  The mere fact that you have consumed alcohol does NOT mean you can’t drive.  The amount of alcohol in your bloodstream determines whether you can drive or not. So sometimes, YES, you can drive a car while drunk.

Can you have sex with a girl when she is drunk?

Under the law, actually, you can’t.  Drunk women are children, remember, and cannot consent, no matter how enthusiastic they are at the time.  They can charge you with rape. The courts are curiously reluctant to CONVICT men based only on an allegation, and still seem to think that whole “presumption of innocence” thing is important.

justice

But it doesn’t matter.  Just a CHARGE is enough to destroy a man.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2348532/The-woman-accused-stranger-Facebook-rape–ruined-victims-life.html

If we treated women like grown-ups, capable of making decisions and facing the repercussions, no matter how distasteful and unpleasant they may be, the answer to Dr.Phil’s question would be pretty straight forward.

Is it okay to have sex with a drunk girl?

flirting

Is she into it?

Is she receptive to your advances?

Is she making her own advances?

Is she taking off her clothes?

Is she taking off your clothes?

Is she an adult capable of deciding where, when and with whom she would like to have sex?

Party on, young ‘uns!

Just remember, while sex is great good fun, if she ends up pregnant, you are the one who will be fucked.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/07/08/are-you-having-sex-with-a-fertile-woman-would-you-like-to-avoid-a-little-bundle-of-puking-joy-are-you-trusting-her-with-birth-control-well-im-sorry-but-you-sir-are-an-idiot/

Condoms, lads.  Use them.  And bring your own!

condoms

Lots of love,

JB

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