SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
You have been warned …
We took the kids to see Infinity War this weekend, and boy were there some emotional reactions in the audience! I am not a diehard Marvel fan, and honestly, I didn’t pick out many of the minor players. I recognized Thor, Loki, Iron Man, Hulk, Spider-man, Captain America and Black Widow, but the others were not familiar to me. The guy with the stone in his head and the really ugly makeup? No clue. The rabbit and the tree were cute, but I have no idea who they are or what superpowers they have. I sort of know about Dr. Strange but it seemed like the cloak has the power and not him. Captain Kirk’s booty call with the green skin was a mystery to me, and aside from Black Widow, none of the ladies made much of an impression. They were all kind of meh.
Kudos to the filmmakers, though. My lack of knowledge about the bit players and how their narratives played out really didn’t matter. The film still held together and made sense, by and large. Possibly because I don’t know the bit players or their stories, the toughest sell for me was Thanos as a villain.
I like Thanos. He is by far the most physically attractive character. Thor looks like a Ken doll next to him, and the others aren’t even worth mentioning. The Incredible Hulk pussied out for pretty much the entire film in a sulky tantrum, as far as I could tell, but I dislike Mark Ruffalo, so that didn’t bother me. Stay in your safe space, Hulk, until Ruffalo gets taken out in a #MeToo accusation and we can have an actor with actual testosterone play the role. Life imitates art.
Thanos is an environmentalist activist, but with a serious commitment to action. He believes in the overpopulation crisis, a favorite narrative on the left, and has a working solution: eliminate half the population of the universe. Population problem solved. According to the movie, when the little green chick was a child, her own planet was fighting over limited resources so Thanos showed up, wiped out half the population and prosperity arrived. He adopted the little green girl and she became his daughter. The green girl was the only thing he truly loved, so it was difficult for him to kill her.
It was a sad moment.
But the sadness was not sufficient for me to overlook the fact that Thanos is not wrong. If the universe has a finite set of resources and the population load has exceeded available resources, then depopulation is the correct strategy. That’s a big if, but assuming it’s correct, then so is Thanos.
Wipe out half.
Where Thanos and I part company is that we should select victims randomly. Why am I giving up the cute little tree and keeping drug addicts on some godforsaken moon across the galaxy? Not all lives in the universe are equally valuable. If Thanos can protect himself from the lottery, then surely he can protect others? I’m not saying it will be easy to pick which half goes, but just because something is hard doesn’t mean we shouldn’t even try.
The movie ends with Thanos looking out over a world restored to peace and prosperity, but given that there are still movie-goers with cash in their pockets to bestow on Marvel, it’s probably safe to assume that some do-gooder superhero will be rolling back time to undo all the peace and prosperity Thanos achieved. Better for everyone to live in misery than to sacrifice half so the others might thrive, right? There’s the narrative of the left in a nutshell: hobble the best to create the illusion of equality for the rest.
Goodbye Spider-man. Goodbye cute little tree. Goodbye redheaded chick who made no impression on me.
Thanos has restored the world to balance.
And it was fun, too.
Lots of love,