So, Dear Prudence published this letter the other day, and I’m in shock at how woke this new broad, Mallory Ortberg, appears to be. I’ve adjusted the white space to make it easier to read.
My significant other and I work at the same company but in different departments.
I have been experiencing envy in a way that is detrimental to our relationship.
He is young, been working here for four years, and has seen a promotion and outrageous raise every year he has been here. He has a relative in a high position at the company and has had the chance to work with certain people who have given him more opportunities than most here. I have been struggling to get out of my entry-level position for two years to no avail.
Long story short, last year I wanted to apply for a new position within the company but was blocked for political reasons, and he got the job with no prior qualifications other than being familiar with the company and the person who hired him. He is getting all the skills, knowledge, salary increases, and networking opportunities to set him in a promising direction, while my own boss seems to be doing everything she can to prevent me from learning anything (while at the same time praising my work).
It has caused a bitter rift between us, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I know leaving this company is a step in the right direction, but now I see my significant other as the competition, and it frustrates me to no end that he is “winning.” I worked hard at a graduate degree at an Ivy League institution while he went to a humdrum state school.
I know that if the universe were a fair place, our situations would be reversed, but it isn’t. How can I work toward letting this go before it ruins what we have?
The new Prudence, Mallory Ortberg is a feminist leaning, social justice, tie-my-panties-in-knots-to-avoid-the-screaming-pack-of-harpies virtue signaler we should more or less expect from all writers at Slate, but her response to this young woman has left me more or less gobsmacked.
Again, I’ve adjusted the white space to make this easier to read, but feel free to go and check out the original letter.
I am not nearly as confident as you are that in a wholly fair universe you and your boyfriend would swap places!
I am also not confident that this attitude of yours has not already started ruining what you two have, especially if you consider the fact that you went to an Ivy League to be some sort of evidence that you deserve to best a mere state-school graduate for the rest of your life. That’s the sort of misguided sense of entitlement that makes a person sound like a villainous girlfriend from Gilmore Girls, and is not going to serve you well in life.
I suggest abandoning it.
Your boyfriend’s success is not coming at your expense. You two are not, and never have been, in direct competition with each other, especially since he works in a different department, and if you continue to think of him as somehow “beating” you by being recognized and promoted at his job, it will only serve to further distract you from finding a solution to your actual problems.
It’s good that you are starting to recognize that any solution will necessarily have to begin with letting go of this irrational resentment, but I’m troubled that you still seem committed to some sort of belief that you objectively deserve what your boyfriend has.
Maybe you weren’t blocked from that promotion for purely political reasons.
You might also have a genuinely bad boss, but I’m guessing that if any hint of the attitude from your letter shows up in the way you treat other people at work, there’s a reason you’re not being promoted. Focus on what you need to do to take care of yourself, whether that’s applying for other jobs outside your company, finding a mentor, asking some of your colleagues for advice on how you could be doing your current job better, seeing a therapist, or even just starting every day by reminding yourself that professional success is not a zero-sum game and having graduated from Boat Shoes Academy is not a guarantee of anything.
I KNOW, RIGHT????
Can you believe a feminist wrote this? A woke feminist treating a woman like, oh, I don’t know ….. an adult?!?! Give up your resentment, your entitlement, your petulant sense of toddler injustice and start doing your damn job!
Hey feminists! Do you see the problem?
Lots of love,