I’ll admit the title of this post didn’t inspire confidence when it landed in my inbox, but I’ve been turning it over in my mind, and I have two thoughts in particular.
First, none of these are wrong. Women want ‘proof’ of love, and likely so do men. I’m glad the post links to the different styles of love, because not all women demand cash on the barrel proof, but it’s worth noting that if love can be measured in economic terms, caution is warranted. I like to say “love is verb”, by which I mean “if you love me you will empty the garbage”, but today I realized that my husband does not empty the garbage faithfully because he loves me. That’s not why at all.
He empties the garbage so he doesn’t have to listen to me bitch and moan about it.
I also discovered today that either way, I don’t give a fuck. Emptying the garbage is yucky and I don’t want to do it. My husband does not like to sort or fold laundry, especially socks. Socks piss him off. So I do it. At the end of the day, it’s all a balance. I’m happiest with ‘proof’ of love that involves lightening the day to day annoyances, even while I understand that those things are not love, in and of itself.
Figure out what kinds of ‘proof’ you want, and your partner wants. That’s important, and good advice.
Help her feel safe? Sure. Okay. She needs to actually be safe, and that is ultimately her responsibility, but the complement is missing here: help him feel emotionally safe too. Trust is a two way street.
All in all, this is not a bad post. It’s just incomplete: do unto him as you would have him do unto you.
What Women Want ….
In a relationship, it can sometimes come to a bit of a stalemate. You might not be opening up as much to your partner, simply because you feel like they don’t understand you. You might feel a little disappointed or upset that your other half doesn’t ‘get’ you. When we women feel like we are suffering in a relationship, then we can be quite defensive and clam up a little. Meaning that we’re likely to share even less than we have been doing before.
For any of you men out there, the good news is that there some things that you can learn about women and what we are looking for a relationship. Read and them and let them sink in. If you can understand them, then it will put you in a much better position to give your wife or girlfriend what they need. Also if you’re single, you never know how much this might teach you about how to get your girlfriend back! So read on and follow these next steps for a more fulfilling relationship. When you understand each other, it makes a massive difference.
Women like to feel that they are loved and appreciated in a relationship, they are much more likely to open up and feel relaxed. Of course, there are some standard ways that you can show love. But it is a good idea to find out what your other half prefers. There are said to be five ‘love languages,’ with people responding best to one or two of them. They may differ to your preferences, and that is fine. But by understanding her preferences, then you can make an effort to show love in those ways, and understand the ways that she shows love to you.
Help Her Feel Safe
From a young age, many women have had to deal and fight with self-esteem and body issues. So helping your partner to feel safe and that you don’t judge her is so important to her. When you create a safe space like this in your relationship, it allows her to open up completely. You allow her to grow when you create a safe place for her, as well as working to undo any of that emotional and psychological damage from earlier in her life. She needs to feel that she can trust you.
Women love to be seen. They want to know that you have listened to them, and that you are aware of how they are feeling. By noticing small changes in them you can adjust accordingly. They might not tell you they’re feeling upset straightaway. But if you ask them how they’re feeling, then they will share. So look for ways to ‘see’ her and how she is feeling.
The feminine side of many people has the need to be appreciated. This is different from feeling love, though. It is important to know the difference. Tell her what you appreciate about her, and tell her as often as you can. When you know what a difference she makes in your life, then she needs to know that you know.