In what has to represent one of the greatest higher education triumphs of 2017, Harvard is one step closer to restoring whiteness to the hallowed halls of its ivy-clad fortress.
Graduation segregation for Blacks is now a reality!
We still have Asians, Indians, Middle Easterners, Hispanics and those damn Italians (who agreed Italians were white?!?) to deal with, but this is progress! Harvard has returned to the spirit and practice of veritas, because let’s be honest, who wants Black people at graduation anyways? They wreck all the photo ops.
Today’s column is a public service announcement for other universities and colleges who wish to restore whiteness to their graduation ceremonies, too. I’m going to spell out how to accomplish this, by blatantly robbing the minds at Harvard of their justifications, which are clever AF!
Today, we keep the Blacks out of graduation. Tomorrow, out of the whole school!
Here’s are the simple steps any progressive, forward thinking school can follow to #MakeGraduationWhiteAgain:
Explain to your Black students that graduating from college is not an expectation for them, so it’s super hard and they should be extra-proud!
Getting a diploma from Harvard is one of the biggest accomplishments a person can achieve, but for some, it can come as a bigger task than for others.
Explain to your Black students that there is this thing called ‘society’, which they are obviously not a part of, and this ‘society’ is to blame when they experience any difficulty with anything ever. You can call this technique a ‘blamethrower’ for expediency’s sake.
Aside from studying and taking grueling tests, if you’re a minority, the outer pressures of society make the already challenging coursework even more difficult.
This sets up segregation. It’s quite easy to accomplish, in actual fact, but suggest that the act of going into a different room at a different time will take a year to plan. This will allow your Black students to be busy doing nothing, but they probably won’t notice.
Black members of the class of 2017 decided to form an individual ceremony. It’s the first of its kind at the school in recent memory and took nearly a year to plan.
Tell your Black students they are brilliant and accomplished and they should celebrate this somewhere else. Not where the brilliant accomplished white students are. Also, we don’t want Black families wandering willy-nilly around campus. So take them with you to your private ceremony, please. Call this community if anyone balks. Use the word ‘collective’ ironically while suggesting that Black students are celebrating individual accomplishments. The point is that Black students and parents and families should be kept away from the white families and kids.
“This is an opportunity to celebrate Harvard’s Black excellence and Black brilliance,” Michael Huggins, a soon-to-become Masters graduate from Harvard’s Kennedy School, told The Root. “It’s an event where we can see each other and our parents and family can see us as a collective, whole group. A community.”
Someone will eventually cotton to the segregation thing. Deny this vigorously. But be sure to tell Black students other Black people are responsible for their ultimate success. We don’t want them blaming white people!
“This is not about segregation,” He added. “It’s about fellowship and building a community. This is a chance to reaffirm for each other that we enter the work world with a network of supporters standing with us. We are all partners.”
Don’t be afraid to use that blamethrower!
Recently, across America, there have been incidents of racism – both in comments and violence – at college campuses. Hopefully, the ceremony reminds people that minorities have to encounter certain challenges that others don’t.
Remind Black students that if they spend six years getting a four year degree, they are almost certain of success!
Harvard is reported as having a 96 percent graduation rate for black students who remain in school for an average of six years.
Then send those Black students off to their own graduation. If you’re providing transportation, I strongly recommend you don’t put them at the back of the bus. They might remember.
Then again, likely not.
How could Black people possibly repeat this history, if they remembered?
Lots of love,