At the end of the day, I care very little whether other women wear makeup. Some women love it, some hate it, and some of us feel conflicted about it. But many of us find it a necessity because very few women are immune to beauty standards – myself included. I rarely (okay, never) leave the house without at least some blush and mascara on. But I have no illusions as to why the thought of going bare-faced makes me so uncomfortable: it’s the sexism jealous competition with other women that I can’t get over, stupid.
I have to laugh at this new column by Jessica Valenti in which she practically spits jealous venom over poor Miranda Lambert and her “flawless, shining beauty”. Oh dear, really Jess? Of course, it’s men’s fault that women wear make-up. It couldn’t be insecure women competing relentlessly with other women for sexual attention from men, right? There’s a reason a lot of lesbians don’t wear make-up, sweetie pie.
I rarely (okay, never) leave the house without at least some blush and mascara on.
Think you might be overestimating random men’s sexual interest in you, Jess, and definitely overestimating the power of blush and mascara. I rarely leave the house in anything BUT my natural state – sunscreen is a must, but make-up? Yeah, generally not. I could look prettier on a day-to-day basis by wearing make-up, it’s just not a priority.
I’m not competing with other women for the sexual attention of men. I’m married, you see, and have already won the man I wanted. YouTube is a totally different story, because in that situation I AM trying to be eye-candy because it makes the message more palatable, and that’s not sexism, it’s human nature. All humans are attracted to pretty, sparkly things. We all have some residual magpie genes, apparently. But women are not content to simply admire an attractive woman. Virtually 100% of women will aggress against a woman who presents as sexually attractive. Men don’t make them do this. The relentless competition for men’s attention makes them do this. I have no study to back it up, but I would guess most men would love to see an end to the jealous girl bullshit drama that so many women engage in.
It’s boring and extremely unproductive.
There’s nothing radical about having the confidence and self-esteem to leave the house without cosmetics. There is indeed something radical about understanding that maintaining a normal body weight, basic grooming (comb your hair, brush your teeth, etc. – the same stuff men do) and a cheerful demeanor makes almost all women attractive.
Feminists don’t understand this? What a surprise.
Next time you leave the house, Jess, try some Spanx and a smile.
That’s all you need. It’s all any woman needs.
Lots of love,