Food = Love. Careful now. That’s a trap set by the patriarchy to encourage meaningful relationships, and we can’t have that!

26 Sep




Captain Capitalism has a theory that people whose political inclinations tend to lean left are less physically attractive than those who lean more to the right. According to the Captain, looking physically attractive takes work and effort and leftists have a strong tendency to look for someone else to blame for their problems, including having a huge ass and a muffin top that makes the People of Walmart look positively lithe.


I do NOT believe liberals and leftists are born uglier than their average conservative counterpart. It’s not like they’re genetically inferior or anything. What I am talking about is that they put A LOT LESS EFFORT into their physical appearance. Ergo, this is not a criticism of their basic, physical beauty, let alone their genetics, but it IS a criticism of their psychology. You could take that Prius-driving, 45 year old, gray haired, super skinny yoga woman who never wore make-up, never did her hair up, give her a make over and she’d come out looking just fine. Just as you could take the cowering, tubby orbiting beta with the Seth Rogen beard, through him in the gym for 3 months and have him come out looking just fine.


But that’s the not the point.


The point is to your average leftists such working out and maintenance requires effort. That AND the added risk they may still “fail” in attracting a mate. It is their pure hatred and fear of effort and competition that not only drives their political and economic ideologies, but also drives their “romantic” or “mating” ideology.


I don’t want to discuss Cappy’s theory per se, other than to point out he cites some research that suggests he may be on to something, and that more feminine looking women tend to be Republicans. It’s colloquially known as the “Michele Bachmann” effect.




What I want to discuss is how an entire worldview can play out in various aspects of one’s personal life without necessarily any awareness on the part of the actor. Liberals may not realize that in blaming the “Man” for why they have a shitty job, they are also providing the justification for not hitting the gym, but the relationship exists nonetheless.




And I want to discuss that in the context of the woman who made 300 sandwiches for her boyfriend after she made him a sandwich and he told her she was on her way to earning an engagement ring, because to him, the act of making a sandwich was an act of love. And why else do you get engaged if not for love?


To him, sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex. “Sandwiches are love,” he says. “Especially when you make them. You can’t get a sandwich with love from the deli.”


It’s actually pretty funny to see the feminist ladies at Slate’s Double XX blog and Jezebel try to understand how a woman, ANY woman, could possibly want to indicate her love for a man, and make that the basis of a potential marriage.


Who does that? Who shows a MAN they are loved and then thinks love is something that can sustain a marriage?


Amanda Hess is particularly hilarious trying to parse out the relationship between love and actions that demonstrate love.


How do we make sense of love in the time of “I’m 124 Sandwiches Away From an Engagement Ring”? The traditional romantic structures that previously organized our physical and emotional connections to other people are crumbling fast. Nobody buys one another root beer floats anymore. Everybody’s touching everybody else before they marry anyone. There are no boyfriends here. In the face of all this romantic disruption, some lovers are frantically constructing new frameworks—diamond-fishing sandwich blogs, for example—in a desperate attempt to reduce our strange and wonderful human experiences into another rote mechanical exercise. Stop. Love each other. Eat sandwiches. Don’t trade either of them for anything.


Don’t trade either of them for anything.


How can she not see that sandwiches and love are ONE AND THE SAME THING? Love is not just something you say. It’s something you do. Every day. For the rest of your life. For someone else. If you’re a heterosexual woman, that someone else is going to be a man.




And there’s the problem.


It doesn’t have to be a sandwich. It can be anything. Pizza. Cookies. Bread. A different handmade pasta every day for 300 days. Those things take skill, though. The beauty of a sandwich is that anyone can make one, regardless of their familiarity with the kitchen and the tools therein.


What it takes is a particular mindset. Your whole worldview needs to change to do something like make 300 sandwiches. You have to put the other person first, and take time out of your day, every day, to make a special effort to please another person. You think about their comfort and feelings and well-being and you put those things ahead of your own, not forever, not always, not in every single situation you will ever confront in your life together, BUT FOR THE TIME IT TAKES TO MAKE A SANDWICH.




What is that? Maybe 15 minutes? 15 minutes of your day, every day, is dedicated to the care of the person (man) you love.


And that’s just too much to trade, is it?


How sad. It’s not hard to imagine Amanda’s response, is it?


Well, what does he do for ME fifteen minutes a day? Get out the spreadsheets and start tabulating. 15 seconds to open the door for me. 45 seconds to go to the bedroom and fetch my purse because I have my boots on already and I forgot. 3 minutes to select an excellent Shiraz for our evening meal (South Africa! Try South Africa!). 8 minutes to run a hot bath and fill it with vanilla scented bubbles.


Keep careful tabs, and if he doesn’t hit the 15 minute absolute perfect trade-off mark, then fuck him and his sandwich. Chuck it in the trash. We’re after perfect equality, right? And the best way to achieve that is to be a temporal bean-counting bitch.




Yeah, okay. Good luck with that.


Jezebel wonders just how piss-poor a sandwich can be offered. If you’re gonna make someone a sandwich that he interprets as a gesture of love, then you want to put the LEAST amount of effort into that as possible, right? And maybe even try to trade off for blow-jobs instead?


Even though we now know, collectively as a Lady Monolith, how to please men, collectively as a Man Monolith, a few loose ends were left untied in Smith’s piece. Namely: how complicated a sandwich are we talking here? Would Eric still light up Stephanie’s ring finger if she just half assed the last 124 sandwiches by making him a pile of peanut butter on folded bread monstrosities? What is the minimum number of ingredients required for Eric to count it as 1/300th an engagement ring? Are there any substitutions for sandwichmaking? What’s the sandwich-to-blowjob conversion rate (my boss suggested that 1 BJ is worth 2 4-or-more-ingredient sandwiches; I’m inclined to agree)?




Where on earth does the stereotype of feminists as sulky, sour, bitter, loveless bitches come from? It’s such a mystery. There is just so much love and affection in that quote, isn’t there?


Let’s look at some of the comments. They’re so cute!



Deli sandwiches don’t have love?

Why the fuck would I want love in my sandwich? That just takes up room that could be used for sliced jalapeños and bacon. Yesterday 12:46pm


Straight up denial. Food is not love.





Exactly. I am a great cook, and my husband loves my cooking. He has never, ever, once made me feel bad for not cooking. There is a difference.

This guy is an ass, and he can certainly kiss mine. Yesterday 1:02pm


Point right over the head. He never made her feel bad. On the contrary. He told her that the love she put into making to sandwiches was NOT going unnoticed, and that he was prepared to love her forever.




This morning I made a piping hot cup of disappointment for my husband. Rich black disappointment, tinged with regret and a sense of impending loss, served piping hot with two sugars and some cream. Yesterday 12:47pm


This is funny in the way that watching socially impaired people try to interact is funny. You feel awful at the same time. Schadenfreude. That’s what the word really means. You laugh at someone’s misfortune, but at the same time you feel absolutely terrible for them. The second part has to be there in order for the word schadenfreude to be the correct choice. Laughing at someone’s misfortune is just sadism.


Trust me. My father speaks German as a first language and it always drives him nuts when people confuse sadism with schadenfreude.


This comment made me laugh, but at the same time, holy fuck, what a bitch! I feel sorry for her and her husband.


One commenter acknowledges that buddy in question is no slouch in the kitchen, but it has no effect on the Jezzie ladies.


young man cooking food in the kitchen

see you in rach-hell

I guess I’m the only person who has read her blog and realizes that their relationship seems fine, he cooks an equal amount for the both of them, and it’s not really as serious crazy-woman-desperate-to-get-married-to-a-misogynist as this article makes it sound.

Some might say the idea is sexist. “A woman in the kitchen—how Stepford Wife of you!” a friend argued. I say come over for dinner, and watch E whip up roasted duck breast with a balsamic and currant sauce with a roasted parsnip puree and shaved pickled beets in no time, and you’ll see who spends more time in the kitchen.

Some say I’m just desperate to get engaged. Hardly. I don’t have to be. E didn’t say “cook me 300 sandwiches or I’m leaving you!” He gave me a challenge—a dare, to some degree—and the type-A, Tracy Flick side of me can’t stand being challenged. I will prove to him and the rest of the world I can make the 300 sandwiches.


Seems hyperbolic to me. Yesterday 1:22pm


Nope. That kind of reasonableness won’t play here.


InterrobangUsee you in rach-hell391L

Her premise is revolting. That her husband cooks changes nothing about the fact that her blog is about making enough sandwiches to “earn” an engagement ring.


Or, you know, maybe that demonstrating the willingness to care and make an effort to provide for the other person is mutual? Seems like Stephanie has the better deal here, with Eric pureeing parsnips to go with roast duck.


Seriously, these women just can’t STAND the idea that any woman would demonstrate love by providing food for a MAN even though he obviously takes the time to provide food for her.


That is what brings me back to Captain Capitalism’s theory. Women who embrace feminism don’t seem to be able to perceive that they are encouraged to blame men for all their problems and actively hate men, and simply REFUSE to make a fucking sandwich because severe cognitive dissonance kicks in and it is impossible to reconcile all the contradictions of feminism as a philosophy.


“We don’t hate men” claim the feminists.


But make them a sandwich? Oh hell no. That will be interpreted as love and we love men so we can’t do anything that shows we love men.




Remember my advice on how to pick a wife? I mentioned providing food as being a critical condition, and I am now inclined to believe it may be the ONLY flag you need to look for.


Food = love.


A woman who doesn’t provide food for you doesn’t love you. She doesn’t have to be Julia Child. Anyone can make a sandwich. Anyone can order pizza. Anyone can fry bacon.


“Make me a sandwich?”


It really means “do you love me”?


I’d listen to the answer very carefully. A woman who refuses is likely very much a feminist, even if she won’t use the word to describe herself.


And that’s not a woman you want.


Lots of love,







106 Responses to “Food = Love. Careful now. That’s a trap set by the patriarchy to encourage meaningful relationships, and we can’t have that!”

  1. Marlo Rocci September 27, 2013 at 03:28 #

    The current feminist view of relationships is where the woman only receives and only the man gives. one direction only is allowed. Most women have figured out this kind of deal doesn’t work out. Partly because it’s based on the idea that men are so addicted to sex we will become slaves for it as long as the woman controls it properly.

    I’ve personally witnessed this behavior. A long time ago I overheard a woman talking about how she cooked for her boyfriend, and she was instantly leaped upon by a feminist who overheard the conversation, who then demanded the boyfriend should do the cooking. The first woman had to go instantly into defensive mode and explained that he maintained the car, and that they took care of each other, but just in different ways.


    • Diana September 29, 2013 at 20:10 #

      It isn’t feminism.My boyfriend does almost all the cooking(sometimes I’m there too).It’s just very boring…I’m a person who would rather eat bread and yoghurt most of the times than cook for herself.Plus I need less food than him so me cooking would mean very little food.My mom always said no person would want to be with someone like me but I reminded her that my dad is exactly like me and she didn’t dump him.It’s funny that you think that a man doing that it’s a slave while a woman doing this it’s natural.5 years in his only complaint it’s that I should at least stop playing video games and stay with him -which I did.So when he cooks, I’m usually at the table reading a newspaper or a book.He did let me cook once but I chose to make cow stomach soup(I super love it, he hates it) and I borrowed a big pot from my mom to make sure it lasts us for days.The second time I made borsch but added vinegar(again my fav but too sour for him) and the third time eggplant salad(the paste kind) so he gave up and now he’s the cook in the house.


      • Scotty G. April 22, 2014 at 00:24 #

        The fact that every dish you had previously prepared for the both of you were foods that only you liked should be a hint to the type of personality you really possess…. me. me. me. me. me. You even mentioned how the portions you cooked would be too small for him, indicating that you were cooking with only yourself in mind.

        Then Western women wonder why mail-order brides are fast increasing in popularity?


  2. Uncalledfor September 27, 2013 at 05:01 #

    I have a slightly different theory, on feminists in general and the sammich thing in particular. It’s not, like, published or backed up by scientific data; but it does fit my experience and matches the general facts.

    First, I don’ t think that a lot of the young women who participate in doctrinaire, academic feminism come to the subject because of some flash of neutral, logical insight. The much more common case, I think, is that they turn to feminism after some particular personal experience; and particularly bad experiences with men.

    The trajectory I imagine as the prototype runs like this (and may sound familiar to many readers): Girl digs guy who is, in fact, an asshole. She’s nice to him, trying first to instantiate the relationship she wants to have exist; and when that fails — since he is, in fact, an asshole who treats her poorly — she may keep on trying to change him or rescue him. This will also fail — since he is, in fact, an asshole — until she finally gives up.

    At that point she has to make a choice, over how to interpret the past. The two main branches are (1) All men are basically assholes, versus (2) Men differ, but I’m attracted to the assholes in particular. In nearly all cases, (2) is actually the correct answer; but she can’t bring herself to cognize it, so she resorts to (1) instead and another proto-feminist is born.

    After this, all the horrid tropes you are used to hearing from shrill feminists follow naturally, and I won’t go through the list here. But the sandwich thing in particular, or the general notion of doing something nice for your partner, is associated in her subconscious memory (yeah, I like Freud) with the ghastly and humiliating experience of having waited hand and foot on the asshole boyfriend, only to have him treat her like shit in return — because he was, in fact, an asshole. Because she cannot face the truth, that servicing an asshole was her fault and her decision, she must instead picture all men as acting domineering and degrading towards all women. And so she cannot countenance the idea of any woman, anywhere, doing any nice thing for a prospective BF/husband, because that’s willing participation in degradation.

    As I said, I don’t have any firm numbers but I believe that this trajectory is a typical one, which explains a lot of feminist behavior that you see and which JB skewers so regularly. What really needs to be said to these women, in my opinion, what would really do them and the world the most good, is “It’s not the fault of men as a whole that you had such bad experiences, it’s your fault for having picked assholes in particular. So stop blaming men and get your head on straight instead, and we’ll all be better off for it — it’s a win-win if you have the mental courage to face the truth.”

    As I said, it’s not published (until now!) or copyrighted, so feel free to re-distribute at will.


    • Liam September 27, 2013 at 13:06 #

      I think you may be right, but I’d add peer pressure. Some of the most ardent feminists I knew during my time in college (many of whom have since backed off a whole lot!) got there because they were at a women’s college and that was the culture.

      I actually witnessed a couple of these women actively ramping up the kinds of minor awkward disagreements we all have in HS into the sort of abuse story necessary to be accepted into The Culture. Obviously if you couldn’t speak to HOW men were all evil and how you had personally been harmed by a Man (better if you had multiple such stories), you were not REALLY a feminist, and a traitor to your gender.

      Why they accepted me and a few of my friends, I don’t know. They had to tell themselves that we were “good guys” and “honorary lesbians” so that it was OK to hang out with us. Men suck, but we weren’t REALLY men. (At that point in my life, I was pretty introverted, so it wasn’t difficult for people to conflate whatever personality or beliefs onto me they wished, because I didn’t really go about spouting my beliefs in public).

      Actually, this reminds me of another of my favorite stories of people taking the “in crowd” too far: Years ago, I used to spend a lot of my time going to science fiction conventions. Yes, I’m a nerd. Anyway, one thing that’s pretty common (or at least was in those days) was that most of the people at cons had obviously psychological “wedgie” scars. Very few of them had been the popular kids in their grade and high schools.

      And I always found it highly instructive to watch the two distinct paths people walked down. About half of the attendees banded together into a “let’s all treat each other well, we know what it feels like to be on the bottom rung, it sucks, let’s be nice to one another, despite our differences”. The other half joined cliques and ran around loudly declaring “Oh, you’re not a REAL fan if you don’t write fan fiction” or “You’re not a TRUE fan if you don’t like Star Wars” or… whatever. They took the lessons of high school and tried to band together with like minded people to set up a similar set of strata, but with themselves at the top so that they could treat others the way they were treated.

      The urge to be a part of the in crowd is high, and I think a LOT of young women feminists join the group because it’s an in crowd they can feel a part of and identify with, and so what if the group holds fervent beliefs they themselves do not really hold, it’s a group that accepts them and places them at the top of the social hierarchy!


  3. Dire Badger September 27, 2013 at 06:44 #

    You forget that in the feminist mind, vagina means that you are responsible for the universe. vagina is god. deigning to shower that vagina on a man is more than enough reason that he should do everything and anything he possibly can with no recompense, because you are the keeper of the box of god.
    You know what I have seriously considered? female slavery. Frankly, most women seem to equate their hoochie with monetary value. What PROVES value more than actually BUYING a woman? you show them exactly what they are worth by actually paying that much for them.
    Before you laugh, bear in mind that a huge amount of ‘female best seller porn’ revolves directly around the concept that hoochie is a commodity that can be purchased with cash, and that female slavery is the ultimate rush. Bodice-rippers are by far the best-selling female fantasy fare, better selling even than fantasy, science fiction, and military fiction combined.


  4. Dire Badger September 27, 2013 at 07:04 #

    although I have to disagree about frying bacon… frying ba con is an art form, especially when you live at high altitude. It is almost impossible for anyone but a true genius to make good bacon in Utah.

    Also, I have to disagree about the sandwich, I think it’s a matter of perception. To most women, a sandwich is a snack you pick up between two fingers. Often it is tiny, cut into darling shapes or triangles, or decorated with a smiley jelly face and stuffed into a kid’s lunch box. (BTW, this impression is partially from the cooking channel. Old t-rex arms, hamptons redneck, ex-country-singer, and budget suicide woman cannot make a real damned sandwich to save their lives… all they seem to make is arugala, pesto, and watercress dainties garnished with something that belongs in a glass of alcohol. Of course, homeschooler can make real food, but she’s an exception. Statistically, that means 4 out of 5 TV chef women cannot make a damned sandwich)

    To a man, however, a sandwich is a rugged, thickly-packed meal you can hold in your hand. It’s not a good sandwich unless you cannot fit your mouth around all the toppings (let alone the bread). A sandwich is like a religious sacrament to the god of food, and it should have all of your favorite foods stuffed in there with a healthy helping of mustard. Meat, slices and slabs and balls and spoonfulls of heaping meat, stuffed with ‘fillers’ that are not quite as good as the meat but add to the flavor. Throw on something pickled in vinegar, add a sauce or fifteen, stack the thing up to the ceiling… but by god, NEVER put a toothpick in the top cause we will bite it off! stick it all in thick, hearty slices of bread, or maybe just saw a whole loaf in half. For bonus points, cook the bread in bacon grease or find some way to drape bacon or other meats and cheeses onto the outside like an overcrowded refugee ship passing Ellis island on the road to the land of the free and the home of the brave. A good sandwich is like meat with the constitution of the by-god United states of America wrapped around it. It is everything that is good and decent with the world. It is sex without having to throw away a messy condom afterwards, It is like Dirk Benedict and Han Solo and Conan the Barbarian and James Bond and the most interesting man in the world from those Dos Equis commercials just handed you a membership to the ‘spaceship of the month’ club.

    Respect the Man Sandwich.


    • Anotherskip September 29, 2013 at 15:26 #

      Sometimes you need that tooth pick to get some of that love infused sandwich out of your rugged teeth. before you kiss the person who loved you the way they deserved.


  5. Feminism Is A Lie September 27, 2013 at 08:57 #

    I just saw this over Facebook with the usual feminist outrage (it’s their official sport). “Misogyny!” “Sexist!” “Chauvinism!” “Real men don’t really care about sandwiches!”, cry the strong, empowered feminists. Honestly, the world doesn’t need more feminists and white knights to tell us what real men really do and don’t want.


  6. Spaniard September 27, 2013 at 10:30 #

    I think George Clooney, Robert Redford, Cameron Díaz and Katy Perry are leftwingers.
    The Kennedys, Bill Clinton, Matt Damon…

    Well, in my country, attractve people use to be leftwingers: Javier Bardém, Antonio Banderas, Penélope Cruz, Rafael Nadal, Pep Guardiola… and ugly as fuck people use to be rightwingers, like presidents Mariano Rajoy or Aznar. Usually, rightwingers are associated to asexuality or gayness in the closet with strong homophobic attitude (like president Rajoy. It is a rumor). The typical rightwinger female in Spain used to be called “monja alferez” (liutenant nun)


    • Spaniard September 27, 2013 at 10:35 #

      Correction: Rafael Nadal is rightwinger.


      • Master Beta September 27, 2013 at 11:55 #

        I thought he was leftie :p


    • Feminism Is A Lie September 27, 2013 at 12:22 #

      Most of Hollywood are left wingers, but most of Hollywood stars are pretty fucking dumb and unaware of reality.


  7. Dire Badger September 27, 2013 at 10:54 #

    I always find it funny when some woman tries to tell me to man up, or tries to tell me what a ‘real man’ is. My father has that right, my peers get my attention, great men in history help me define and refine it, but someone that has no basis for comparison?


  8. Master Beta September 27, 2013 at 13:30 #

    Feminists can’t even find it in their heart to condone the making of a sandwich for a hungry man. What’s that again about how feminists don’t hate men? They certainly don’t like men. I would make a man a sandwich. I would make a woman a sandwich. It’s really not that difficult.


  9. Richard Rich September 27, 2013 at 22:41 #

    I have been scrubbing sinks and toilets, keeping the linens on my bed clean, and preparing my own meals since before I hit puberty. Having a woman do all of these things for me is pure novelty.

    A novelty I can do without, because I had to learn how to take care of myself and my surroundings at a young age when no one else was around. None of this gender binary/gender role nonsense. Some, if not, most of the best chefs in the world happen to be men. The fembots need to try that on for shoe size.

    This is the problem with feminists. They think that women are doing men a favor by simply existing, and that men somehow need women to the point of “oppressing” them. It’s usually the strong, able-bodied, and capable, i.e. men, that are treated like slaves by society, by Big Brother, and by the “fairer sex”. I don’t know where feminists get the idea that making a sandwich for someone else, through your own volition, is degrading.


    • Richard Rich September 27, 2013 at 22:44 #

      And I forget to add tubs in the first sentence. I definitely know who to kill the grime that gets on the tub, and on and in between the surrounding walls and tiles. Fuck that shit…


  10. PD September 28, 2013 at 03:06 #

    Just one note about the point you make in the wife-picking post: I think it’s possible for a woman to learn to care about feeding her guy, provided she’s capable about caring about anything with him. Clearly the Jezebel harpies aren’t capable of caring, period, but I know in my case, my mother was one of those 70s feminists who always treated it as a big hassle if she had to cook, so everyone just kinda fended for themselves food-wise and I never even thought about it until recently.

    It was actually reading your blog that alerted me to the notion that guys will interpret offered food as a sign of love. Otherwise, I just assumed if someone was hungry, he’d get himself something or suggest ordering take-out.

    So there’s hope on that front. I wonder how many other signals have started flying over the heads of younger women whose mothers threw the baby out with the bath water, and how many of us will manage to relearn these things.

    Back to the post at hand: I think the whole thing’s kinda sweet, and good on her for paying attention and hearing what he was telling her instead of ignoring it or misinterpreting it. Seems a little weird and score-keeping to me to have a set number of sandwiches and fixate on it, but hey, it works for them. Screw the harpies.


  11. Mike Hunter September 28, 2013 at 08:11 #

    “Captain Capitalism has a theory that people whose political inclinations tend to lean left are less physically attractive than those who lean more to the right.”

    Apparently Captain Capitalism has never set foot on a college campus.


    • Dire Badger September 28, 2013 at 23:28 #

      fortunately, college hotties turn into saggy-dugged, obese monsters a few years after leaving.


  12. lelnet October 4, 2013 at 20:08 #

    She doesn’t even have to make food, really. Just prove she can recognize:

    1. A joke, when she hears one
    2. A joke that’s totally a joke and also, at the same time, kinda not really a joke at all. (In tech, we call this “Ha Ha, Only Serious”.)

    Stephanie Smith, I am quite sure, got the joke. And now her fiance-to-be is sitting back, thinking “hey, I never thought she’d take this whole ‘more sandwiches’ thing and run with it as far and as fast as she has, but now that it’s an official thing, that’s pretty cool…maybe we _should_ get married after all…I could do a lot worse than the kind of girl who embraces this…like, say, any other woman I’ve ever known.”

    It’s not about the sandwiches. Even at the moment the dude made his flip comment that launched all this brouhaha, I am prepared to bet money I couldn’t afford to lose that it was, at _most_, 10% about the sandwiches. By now, he might well be sick of sandwiches. But sandwiches aren’t the point. Indeed, _food_ isn’t the point.

    Being a person who’s willing to do something like this, in public, just to prove what kind of person they are, and to stick with it beyond the point where it stops being funny (like when she starts getting attacked by the radical-feminist brigades, for example), all the way back to the top of the cycle where it turns funny all over again? Yeah…THAT is the point.

    Good for Ms. Smith. Her guy is a lucky man.


  13. HaberdasherFetishist October 7, 2013 at 23:42 #

    I think they may have just taken it more literally that you did.

    You though of it in terms of “Taking time out of your day to do something nice for the person you love”, while they interpreted it as a sort of cold, formal financial transaction: “Get points by performing manual labor and earn fabulous prices!”

    “Make enough sandwiches and I’ll marry you.”, when interpreted that way, is no different than “Take out the garbage and clean the gutters to earn sex from me.”.


  14. Erik Norén December 1, 2013 at 10:37 #

    Lefty here (i support free healthcare, free university education and UBI (some market reasons mixed in there but still), but then i’m swedish) and i hit the gym 3 times a week.


  15. JShaft May 20, 2014 at 07:38 #

    Funny, but also meh… I’m completely over the left/right BS, it’s a false dichotomy imho. Oh, and seriously, as far as appearance and makeup, that’s so a personal taste thing. As such, there can be no real means of judging peoples self-care regimens by means of not liking their style.

    Seriously, do you have any idea how much effort and physical pain (not to mention itchiness and discomfort) goes into a full head of dreadlocks? Worse still, a dreadlock-mohawk? In those cases, you both have to shave with painstaking accuracy and delicacy, AND rub wax into what is basically something the texture of hairy string. For real, that shit builds callus. Oh, and shampoo and conditioner would totally kill your dreads, so no washing, not ever… No matter how much it feels like your naked scalp is inside a hessian sack.

    Sometimes honesty is also funny as fuck :p

    Seriously, if you could hear the bitchiness ferals and goths (I’d like to say just the girls, but, well…) spew about each other’s appearance, well, you’d think they were normal, human women… :p

    Also, once you get past the judgefest (Or even include it) involved in making food for a hard-left gathering, wherein there must be no meat, and no judging of, but catering towards the vegetarian/vegan divide, there’s a shit-ton of effort right there. As a man who likes to eat omnivorously because, well, I just fucking do, I’ve still thoroughly enjoyed their food. Some make good food.

    Still, I’ve probably never met, or never been in the same room for long with the particular people you’re talking about. Mostly because, as a rape-survivor (stop holding your breath people, it’s not going anywhere you’d expect) I love rape jokes. Fucking love them. The best humor comes from the heart, and a place of understanding.

    So, next time you wanna be funny while giving shit to hippies, live with ‘em for a while. They often display remarkably human-like qualities most of the time. Fuck, I’d have been dead from starvation due to my own stupidity many times over, not to mention homeless and without sexual comfort if it weren’t for hippies, ferals, goths and other loony-lefties. Which I why I can rip nine colours of shit out of them humor-wise…

    Remember, Colbert wouldn’t be funny if he didn’t watch so damn much FOX :p



  1. Food = Love. Careful now. That’s a trap set by the patriarchy to encourage meaningful relationships, and we can’t have that! | Bydio - September 27, 2013

    […] ← Food = Love. Careful now. That’s a trap set by the patriarchy to encourage meaningful relationship… […]


  2. Lightning Round – 2013/08/02 | Free Northerner - October 2, 2013

    […] road to marriage: sammiches. Related: Food=love. Beware any women unwilling to cook for […]


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