A list of things that annoyed me today

25 Sep

For those of you that follow me on Twitter, you may have seen a note my son’s second grade teacher sent home with him. He was asked to draw a pattern, so he drew bone-DNA-bone-DNA-bone-DNA.  Little bones and tiny helixes to represent DNA.  It is pretty cool, for a tiny little urchin.  The teacher thought so, too.

note

Oh, I’m so glad she’s in charge of teaching contractions to the little ones.  I hope she gets her union negotiated pay raise completely unrelated to how she does her job.

The next day, LittleDude brought home a spelling test.  He spelled egg EEG and still got perfect.

note 2

Why am I not homeschooling my kids again?  Actually, Pinkie did not attend formal school until she was 9 years old.  She was afraid of being away from me, and I didn’t feel she was going to learn anything particularly useful in the first few years anyways, so I taught her to read and do what I thought was pretty basic math at home.  She had a good handle on multiplying and dividing fractions and was fascinated by prime numbers.

Oh, oops.  That’s the curriculum for the eighth grade around here.  Kids are capable of so much more than what they are mandated to learn in school.  It’s a bit of a joke.  LittleDude, like his father, is an intensely social person.  He loves the presence of other kids, especially other boys,  and he is bored out of his mind at home with just his sister and adults for company.

So I send him to school.  Where they give him perfect grades for doing it wrong.

Le sigh.  Well, his teacher is very kind.  I suppose that counts for something, no?  She didn’t like it when I sent her a note explaining that my son wouldn’t be doing any homework, because it has absolutely no impact on learning outcomes in the primary grades and only teaches him to hate pointless “busywork”.  He’s only seven!  He’s going to learn a whole more from this awesome book of maps than he will ever learn at school.

chuck

A moment of praise for authors who write books aimed at boys who enjoy being boys!  Enough with the huggy-kissy crap.  Bring on the adventure and survival challenges!

So begins this delightful illustrated novel and the thrilling adventures of Chuck Duganheroic, resourceful, a great swimmer, and master of disguise. In each cliffhanging chapter, Chuck must grapple with a new set of dangers, from sunken ships and buccaneers to survival on open water and a final race to the treasure ahead of the Admiral and his boys. Illuminated throughout with detailed maps of places, people, and things Chuck encounters along the way, and written with an electric sense of daring-do and whimsy, Eric Chase Anderson creates a totally original and captivating hero, and a swashbuckling adventure story for all ages.

http://www.amazon.com/Chuck-Dugan-Is-AWOL-Novel/dp/0811839206/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380059149&sr=8-1&keywords=chuck+dugan+is+awol

I’m going to have cut short my post today for the second thing that really annoyed me.  I attempted to submit my first assignment containing an outline of the more detailed literature review I will be conducting as I prepare to gather the data for my PhD, and it turns out I can’t do that until I have completed the mandatory library tutorial.

angry

Are you fucking kidding me?  I have two degrees already, as does almost everybody enrolled in PhD programs, and you think I don’t know how to use the fucking library?  Is this kindergarten? A mandatory tutorial?  It’s going to take me three hours to complete it, and the biggest joke is that I just spent an afternoon teaching the actual reference librarian how to conduct searches where established models and terms are borrowed and applied in other disciplines.

Try searching for “big data”, “cluster analysis” and “mining”.  I want to see how Porter’s extension of agglomeration effects catalyzes the collection of big data with a mining cluster.  Unless you know that “big data” in this context means “business intelligence analytics” and you want to eliminate the phrase “data mining”, you are going to be awash in technical papers.  Yes, it’s total bullshit that in an effort to appear legitimate, business researchers borrow concepts like “agglomeration” and “cluster analysis” from more rigorous disciplines like computer science and biology and mathematics, but the point is, you can find what you’re looking for if you know how to sub-search the databases correctly.

But please, waste three hours of my life explaining to me what a “keyword” is, and how to use “Boolean” operators.

Assholes.

Here’s another thing that really annoyed me.  I read the column while waiting for the washer to complete the spin cycle and then emailed it to myself and then read it again, and it STILL irritates the shit out of me.

purse

Apparently, the NFL doesn’t like people bringing small bags into the stadiums, ostensibly because they present a “security threat” and it slows down admissions when bags have to be randomly searched.  The real reason is more likely that people like to avoid paying $12 for a pint of beer, so they use the bags to smuggle in their own beverages and food.

Men have been banned from bringing in knapsacks and courier bags for a long time.  Now that more and more women are attending games, the NFL has banned women’s large purses, which is obviously SEXIST because women NEED their purses.

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/24/the_nfls_ban_on_purses_is_sexist/

Note that small bags are allowed, so you can bring your wallet and phone and some extra tampons should Aunt Flo be visiting.  Cue the shrieking bitches who are entitled to bring their purses because all vaginas must carry purses and men don’t need purses because patriarchy and the only way for the NFL to be fair and treat their male and females fans equally is to let women carry bags but men can’t.

circular

Excellent logic.  The NFL should treat fans equally by having contradictory rules for men and women.

patrick

Two different stories about Patrick the Gorilla have also annoyed me.  Both Jezebel and Salon brand Patrick as sexist because he doesn’t have much love for the lady gorillas, completely ignoring the fact that Patrick is an asshole to the other male gorillas, too.

Patrick gets along well with humans but has problems with his bro gorillas — and flat-out conflicts with females.

http://www.salon.com/2013/09/24/what_a_gorilla_can_teach_us_about_fighting_sexism/

Patrick is just a dick, but of course this has to be spun into some sort of PUNISH THE MALE FOR BEING MEAN TO THE FEMALE bullshit.  What are we supposed to take away from the feminist media spin on Patrick?  It doesn’t matter that he behaves aggressively to other males.  Screw them.  Who gives a shit.  He was mean to the lady gorillas so PUNISH HIM, rah rah rah.

Mary Elizabeth Williams flat out calls male humans apes and wonders why we can’t punish them all in the same way.  You know Mary, darling, some of those commenters might actually be black people.  Black men!  Did you just call black men “apes”?

Yeah, if Glenn Beck said that he would totally get a pass, right?

If only all sexist, aggressive apes could be similarly dealt with. Is there room at that zoo for YouTube commenters?

So let this be a lesson, dudes who are not nice to females. You can be replaced, and by someone who knows how to execute a super-fresh spin. And while Patrick’s exile may just seem a fun bit of color from the wide world of animals, it’s also, sadly, one of the few concrete recent examples of a news story in which the abuse of females has any consequences for the perpetrator. A little more of that, please.

Right. Tell all the men wearing GPS monitors after being arrested for domestic violence, less than HALF of whom will be convicted of any crime at all, that there are no consequences accompanying even the allegation of abuse of women.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/07/16/this-report-on-the-use-of-gps-technology-in-domestic-violence-cases-funded-by-the-department-of-justice-will-blow-your-mind-even-when-women-are-enrolled-as-abusers-theyre-still-victims/

italian

And finally, even more rape hysteria idiocy.  Some reality TV star wrote a book about her marriage to a macho Italian guy whom she appears to love to bits.  I don’t know the whole story, I don’t watch commercial television at all.  But the following passage makes me feel like I might like both of them:

[A] woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive. She must be willing to try new things for her husband’s pleasure and her own. And, most important, she has to be available for sex.

There’s real passionate sex and maintenance sex. You need them both for a healthy marriage. Maintenance sex keeps the wheels greased, the lines of communication open, and the fights to a minimum.

Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated.

Okay, perhaps not the most eloquent or poetic description of how their relationship likely works in the day to day lived reality, but all more or less true, in my experience.

Jezebel’s response:

That is rape and it is insane that it got past the publisher.

http://jezebel.com/real-housewife-melissa-gorgas-new-book-advocates-mar-1371722729

Oh fuck off.  Passionate sex within a marriage is not rape.  Is there any kind of sex at all that DOESN’T qualify as rape for these ladies, or are we seeing the realization of Andrea Dworkin’s “all heterosexual sex is rape” coming to pass?

Just a few posts later, a huge discussion erupted around Jezebel’s policy of NOT posting trigger warnings.  The post is titled Powerful Satirical PSA Explains Why Rape Is Always Your Fault and the sidebar stories, in bold and pretty much impossible to miss are India Has a Gang Rape Problem and Brutal Gang Rape in Mumbai Reignites Outrage in India.  What further explanation do you require?  What do you think you are going to read about in a post with the words RAPE screaming from every second word?  Unicorns farting rainbows?

The problem, you see, is that the delicate flowers weren’t expecting there to be any depictions of violence in the PSA.  It was just supposed to be about rape.  Not rape-rape.

WeAreTheLadies

Maybe put up a trigger warning? The women in this video get brutally grabbed and get more bruised and bloodied throughout the video    Yesterday 9:35pm

http://jezebel.com/maybe-put-up-a-trigger-warning-the-women-in-this-video-1381033486

Could it possibly be more clear that North American women have no fucking clue what rape actually IS?  Rough sex between husbands and wives, sex while drunk, sex you regret, sex you went along with because you didn’t feel like informing your partner you changed your mind, sex you had because he was just so insistent, sex you felt insulted by, sex that wasn’t satisfying …. Rape, rape, rape.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/09/14/yale-confirms-it-when-it-comes-to-rape-no-really-does-mean-yes/

Let’s ask those ladies in India what rape actually looks like.  It’s VIOLENT, for one thing.  It’s a crime.  The post needed a trigger warning for depiction of reality, which ought to have sent most of the Jezebel readers screaming in the other direction pretty quickly.

Don’t forget your purses, ladies.  And watch out for sexist apes men on your way back to Delusionville.

Three hour library tutorial.

This better not be a group exercise.  I’ve had my fill of retards today.

cat

Lots of love,

JB

26 Responses to “A list of things that annoyed me today”

  1. Master Beta September 25, 2013 at 15:07 #

    To be fair, with regards to the Patrick the gorilla thing, it’s normal for male gorillas to not get along with and fight on another. Where as the male gorillas tend to be very protective of and gentle towards the females. Sounds a lot like another primate I can think of.

  2. SuperAwesomeGuy September 25, 2013 at 15:13 #

    One time I was trying to coax my (now ex-) girlfriend into having sex when she really feel like it. Later I tried to apologize to her about it; she told me that sometimes when she says no, she means yes. I couldn’t believe it. My only guess is that it was because she is Japanese and feminism wasn’t as strong there when she was growing up. The more I think about this situation the more angry it makes me, she wanted me to do that but I was taught to believe its basically rape. Even if I don’t actively believe it, I still have to wonder if what I am doing is ok all the damn time.

    • Wilson September 25, 2013 at 16:43 #

      Problem doesn’t really come up if you know someone, the feminist experience is going off with strange homeless guys, conjugal visits with convicts they met as pen pals, etc.

    • Cid September 26, 2013 at 03:39 #

      The Japanese approach to sex is waaay different than anywhere in the West. Women will generally play coy and say no (iyaaa).. although it is easy to tell (once you know) the difference between that and REALLY saying no.

      Yay massive cultural differences! Playing coy is only the tip of the iceburg of differences too..

  3. princesspixiepointless September 25, 2013 at 16:11 #

    This is what annoyed me today, I check all the headlines when i wake up and this was one of them

    http://news.sky.com/story/1146041/teenager-raped-after-driver-offered-her-a-lift

    This is a legitimate news porthole and they actually gave the above subject an article.
    I hope her mum gives her a good ass whooping.

  4. Jax September 25, 2013 at 19:50 #

    I didn’t read the Jez article on the gorilla, but I’m betting they completely fail to point out that one of the reasons (if not the only reason) that Patrick doesn’t like the females is because he was abandoned by his mother.

    • judgybitch September 25, 2013 at 19:51 #

      Ha!

      Yeah, no mention of that at all.

  5. Ed September 25, 2013 at 19:56 #

    While you’re getting your degree you may not have time for it, but LittleDude might do well with unschooling http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unschooling

    (Especially if he’s serious about playing video games when he’s older. http://q13fox.com/2013/08/16/the-international-dota-2-tournamant-draws-a-packed-house-3/#axzz2fwK99Z6R )

    • judgybitch September 25, 2013 at 20:24 #

      I love unschooling in theory, but there is no community of homeschoolers here. He would be so lonely.

      :(

  6. John September 25, 2013 at 21:02 #

    O kome awn, u nowe his teecher ment you’re, sew wats the diffirrince.

  7. Donkeyrock (@donkeyrock) September 25, 2013 at 21:17 #

    The pictures are tiny, couldn’t see the misspellings.

  8. Southern Man September 25, 2013 at 21:23 #

    A hundred years ago our schools were designed to take kids off the farms and give them enough skills to survive in the Big City. Their teacher was almost certainly the most educated and well-read person they’d ever met.

    Today, at least among my peers, it’s hard to find someone who is less educated than a public schoolteacher. Education majors dominate the bottom decile of college graduates, and that’s with their avoidance of math and science and the rampant grade inflation within the Education Department. As Instapundit says, it’s parental malpractice to send your kids to public school today.

    • moseszd September 26, 2013 at 12:01 #

      Educational outcomes are predicated by parental education levels. However because that is difficult to quantify, we use ‘income’ to stratify the students backgrounds. What is found that regardless of ‘public’ or ‘private’ the educational outcomes of students, by any quantifiable measurement, are the same when students are stratified by parental income levels.

      But Reynolds isn’t interested in that FACT. Because what it tells us is that only way to fix public education is to fix the parents. To fix the parents, we have to deal with issues like poverty and economic opportunity and social mobility. And you can be damned sure Reynolds isn’t interested in ramping-up Johnson’s ‘Great Society.’

      So that leaves the Public Schools as whipping boy and a way to push for educational segregation via public funding. Honestly, there is nothing particularly special about private schools. They’re just the gated community of the educational world and the REAL game is to get the private school tuition paid for at taxpayer expense.

      I should also point out that ‘private school’ teachers are paid less and tend to be teachers who were rejected the public school system for various issues, including lack of competency and experience. But otherwise, it’s the same books, same labs, same (or lower for many Christian schools) standards, same every thing.

      • Southern Man September 26, 2013 at 14:17 #

        I gather that you’ve not been in a K-8 classroom in the last twenty years or so. It’s glorified baby sitting, nothing more, with the added requirement that boys must act just like girls or be punished and/or diagnosed with ADD. And the people who say this the most and the loudest are my friends who are K-8 teachers, It didn’t used to be that way: I went to public school and was required to learn math and science in 6th grade that my own kids didn’t get ’till high school. Well, back then most of my teachers were men who had bachelor’s degrees in the areas they taught; there was no such thing as an “education” degree back then. And speaking of private Christian schools – we were lucky enough to be able to send two of ours to one for K-5. Well, luck and living in a small house and driving old cars so we could put our money where it mattered. They both scored 99th percentile on every standardized test they took (this school used the Iowa Test, and often had entire grade cohorts averaging in the mid 90s) and were bored to tears in their first two years of public school. This fundamentalist school taught science well enough that when my then seven-year-old boy saw “Jurassic Park” for the first time he commented that it ought to be called “Cretacious Park.” And at least around here the private Christian schools pay better and demand more from both teachers and students. Such as teachers having an actual degree, and students doing real homework. You know, like public school used to be.

  9. Jan September 25, 2013 at 22:02 #

    To be fair, all humans are apes. Don’t be offended when someone calls you an ape, you both are just that. ;) (of course, unless you’re against evolution, in which case feel free to be offended. Nothing wrong with being an ape though.)

    • Goober September 25, 2013 at 23:28 #

      Incorrect. Humans are not apes. Primates, yes.

      • Alex September 26, 2013 at 07:48 #

        there isn’t all that much of a difference between them really though (without getting too technical)

      • Master Beta September 26, 2013 at 10:00 #

        errrm, I don’t know where you got that idea from, but you’re wrong. Human’s are apes – great apes in fact.

        Great apes is the common name given to the family Hominidae, which includes Gorillas, Orangutans, Chimps, Bonobons and all Hominids (humans).
        Apes is the common name given to the super family Hominoidea, which includes two families: The great apes or Hominidae, and the Hylobatidae – which are commonly known as Gibbons or lesser apes.
        Primates is an order, and as such is much more expansive. It includes all apes, all monkeys and all lemurs. And yes, apes are not monkeys. A chimp is NOT a monkey (can’t tell you how much that bugs me)

        So being called an ape should be no more offensive than being called a mammal. Being called a monkey on the other hand…… We are not monkeys and neither are the other apes. Ape =/= Monkey

  10. Taylor September 25, 2013 at 22:38 #

    I read the reason Patrick is anti social is because he only had one friend who was a Gorilla and the rest were human. His GF(Gorilla Friend) died in front him. He wasn’t raised around many Gorillas. He also wasn’t nice to the male gorillas at the Zoo either. Patrick is not use to the Zoo lifestyle.

  11. Troy September 26, 2013 at 00:19 #

    I used to be a prosecutor. I have seen the evidence of “real rapes.” The fact that I have to put that in quotes bugs the shit out of me. Anyway, I’ve seen evidence, usually pictures and physician’s reports, of torn perineums, vaginal walls poked with metal objects, enough blood loss to require blood transfusions, faces that you cannot recognize because they are so swollen andpurple.

    Then you have these whiny cunts that want to call “rough sex between husbands and wives, sex while drunk, sex you regret, sex you went along with because you didn’t feel like informing your partner you changed your mind, sex you had because he was just so insistent, sex you felt insulted by, sex that wasn’t satisfying” rape.

    And it just makes me very angry. What kind of evil cunt would you have to be to sit in a room with a woman whose cervix was so brutally damaged as to make her sterile and say, “Oh honey, I know exactly how you feel. Why just last week I was raped by this man who just kept pestering and pestering me for sex and I finally gave in and, OMG, it wasn’t even that good. And on top of that, he drove a fucking chevy. But I am going out with him again to give him a second chance to get me off.”

    So to the Jezebels of the world, I say, you earned your misogyny. You earned good and hard.

    • judgybitch September 26, 2013 at 00:21 #

      Thank you, Troy. The trivialization of rape is one of the worst legacies of feminism.

      • Alex September 26, 2013 at 07:54 #

        we need to find a word that can be used to indicate if the event is rape as defined by the feminist movement so we can actually use the word rape the way it was supposed to be used.

        • Dire Badger September 26, 2013 at 10:51 #

          How about ‘inconvenience’?

  12. Marlo Rocci September 26, 2013 at 02:51 #

    Another mention about how passionate sex is rape made me think of my favorite James Bond theme song: “You Only Live Twice”:

    “And love is a stranger
    who’ll beckon you on.
    Don’t think of the danger
    or the stranger is gone.”

    No wonder they can’t get a date.

  13. Eric December 10, 2013 at 12:57 #

    JB,

    Re author Eric Chase Anderson whom you recommend here. He’s filmmaker Wes Anderson’s brother and often has cameo appearances in Wes’s movies.

    I’ve recently watched two of Wes Anderson’s movies that are targeted at older children: Moonrise Kingdom (which I’ve recommended to you before) and Fantastic Mr. Fox.

    Both movies are rich with red-pill themes of Positive Masculine actualization and complementary gender relations. I assume based on your recommendation that Eric’s book also teaches positive masculinity to boys.

    The Anderson brothers are stealth red-pill hipsters. Gavin McInnes is a vocal red-pill hipster. Coincidence?

  14. Lana June 1, 2014 at 17:39 #

    As an elementary teacher, I must say that your experience with your child’s teacher is an embarrassment, but it is not surprising. Many of my colleagues do not have a basic grasp of grammar or syntax. Most of them are glorified daycare workers. I earned a Bachelor’s degree with a double major in history and English and a minor in Spanish. When I went onward to earn my Master’s in education, I was appalled at the lack of rigor or challenge in the coursework as well as the level or work from my classmates in what was supposed to be a very selective program.

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