What hell is this? The brave new world we have bequeathed our children is more frightening than I imagined, and the remedy is gonna make me one of the most hated moms on the block. Boo fucking hoo.

24 Sep

Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from a friend who lives in a sleepy little town on the outskirts of a huge city – the sort of town where nothing bad ever really happens, and you can go about your life feeling pretty safe and removed from the scariness of the modern world.

small town

Daisy and I both had daughters within weeks of each other, and we have kept in touch over the years, comparing notes and sharing frustrations and just generally being good friends to one another.  What she related to me, she has told no one else, other than her husband, of course.

girls

Daisy’s daughter Pansy has matured faster than my own daughter, who is still very much a little girl, in both looks and interests.  Pinkie and her best friend GingerGirl spend their free time tending flocks of sheep on Minecraft, making muffins, doing their nails and they have recently developed an intense interest in rocks.  For Christmas, both the girls have asked for rock polishers and cutters.  The plan is to polish up quartz and lapis lazuli and make jewellery for themselves and their friends.

Very, very innocent stuff.

Pansy, who is the same age as Pinkie, is much more of a stereotypical “pre-teenager” and Daisy, quite rightly if you ask me, is working to make sure that Pansy doesn’t grow up too fast.  Daisy’s husband is a very involved father although he works long hours to support his family.  Daisy has lots of sensible rules in place for Pansy over what kinds of clothes she can wear, what kinds of music she can listen to, what she can watch on TV and she monitors Pansy’s use of social media pretty closely.

And none of that mattered one little bit.

A few weeks ago, Pansy brought home an older girl for Daisy to meet.  I’ll call her Peaches, because she really is a Peach, through no fault of her own.  Peaches is the product of a single mother, and has no relationship of any kind with her father.  She’s an academically smart girl, and seems ambitious and aware and despite being raised in poverty (as the children of single mothers tend to be), she really appeared to have it together.

Daisy spent some time watching the two girls interact and felt that Peaches was an acceptable companion for her daughter.  After all, she doesn’t want to get too judgy against a kid who had no control over the circumstances of her birth, right?

just-dance-3-wii

When Pansy asked to go to Peaches house for a weekend play date, Daisy drove her over, met the mother and did all the things vigilant moms are supposed to do.  She left Pansy and Peaches playing Just Dance on the Wii and thought nothing more of it.  The girls would spend the afternoon together and get some exercise and have fun!

Shortly after Daisy drove away, Peaches’ mom decided to go out and run some errands and she left the two girls alone at home.  Peaches has a computer in her room, and once SingleMom was out of the picture, Peaches introduced Pansy to some “friends” in an internet chat room.

Some male friends.  Considerably older male friends.

Pansy recounted, weeks later, to her mother, what followed.  Pansy fell apart in the bathtub, sobbing and shaking because she knew she had done something very shameful and wrong, and she knew it was wrong when she did it, but she wanted Peaches to like her and think she was cool and peer pressure worked to overcome everything she had ever been taught to believe.

Peaches took off her clothes and danced for her male admirers in front of the webcam on her computer, and she “encouraged” Pansy to join in the fun.  Pansy knew she should not be taking off all her clothes and dancing for strangers on the internet, but she did it.

At twelve years of age, Pansy has starred in her first child porn video.

Here is where the story gets really, really interesting.  Daisy, once she knew the whole story, called up SingleMom to let her know what her daughter is up to on the computer conveniently located in the privacy of her bedroom.

SingleMom didn’t think it was a big deal.  “Oh, they’re just having a bit of fun”.

scream

For.

Real.

SingleMom thinks it’s all just a bit of harmless fun. Videos of her prepubescent daughter dancing naked and pretending to masturbate are scattered god knows where across the internet, and she doesn’t care.

How do you deal with something like this?  That is what Daisy and I talked about, for most of our conversation.  How the hell do you react to something like that?  Obviously, Peaches will not be setting foot anywhere near Pansy again, and Pansy knows that what she did was wrong and dangerous and foolish and she feels wretched about her behavior.

Is that enough?

Should Daisy call Child Services?  Will the girl be better off in foster care? Will taking her away from her idiot of a mother have any impact on whether she continues to vie for male attention, because that’s what the poor girl is doing.  She wants to feel loved and beautiful and powerful and has no example of what a mature, loving man looks like or acts like, and reporting her to child services isn’t going to change that.

Daisy did call her cousin, who is a police officer, but there is nothing they can do.  Even if they had an IP address, which they don’t, it’s probably a proxy server or a temporary inbox that can’t be traced.  The police have neither the manpower nor the technology to track down every video of underage girls dancing naked in cyber space.

How can we, as parents, be vigilant about this kind of stuff?  Daisy did every reasonable thing she could do, and her daughter is still …. I can’t bring myself to call her a “victim” because the only thing she is a victim of is her own incredibly poor judgement.  She’s only a twelve year old girl, though, and twelve year old girls need help making the right decisions. It’s not enough to just know what the right decision IS, she has to have the confidence and maturity to follow through.

I know I will catch hell for this in my actual, lived reality, but one inescapable conclusion that I have come to is that children of single mothers have giant red stop-signs over their heads when it comes to interacting with my kids.

Obviously there are some single mothers who are doing a stellar job, but they’re pretty easy to pick out.  They’re older, financially stable, own their own homes and are surrounded by a loving family with lots of male role models. Those aren’t the typical single mothers, though.  The ones who are young and poor with no real job skills or accomplishments of any kind are probably single mothers as a result of sheer stupidity, and yes, I’m deeply suspicious of their children.  In no way do I blame the children – it was not their choice.

But I recognize them as a threat, and it won’t take all that long before people figure out that JBs kids do not go over to the homes of kids who have single mothers.  Those kids can come to my house, under limited conditions and they will be very carefully supervised, but under no circumstances are my children going over to play with any kid who sets my Spidey senses off.

Intellectually, I can see how unfair that is.  Emotionally, I don’t give a fuck.  Sorry, kid.  But my kids come first.

Something else I have decided is a deal breaker is kids who have computers or televisions in their own rooms.  My children use social media very sparingly at the moment, and I monitor every bit of it.  They play on Minecraft with other people, on a computer that is in our living room with the screen facing outwards, so I can see any interaction at any time.  My daughter posts pictures of kittens and cupcakes and puppies and newborn giraffes to Instagram, where she and her friends compete to get “likes” for who posted the cutest picture.  I see every picture that she posts, and every picture that everyone else posts, too.

The real question for me is do I shatter my daughter’s innocence by talking to her about what happened with Pansy?  My husband feels that it’s simply a lesson for us that we need to be absolute dictators when it comes to who our children are allowed to spend time with.  If other parents hate us, so be it.  Fuck them.

Obviously, we can’t protect them forever, but I really do believe there is value in letting children be children, and there are some things they don’t need to understand.  Sometimes “because I said so” is the right answer.

friends

I shared this story with GingerGirl’s mom, and we spent a long time talking about how we personally dealt with things like peer pressure and wanting to be liked and be cool and popular, and it really comes down to one thing:  you have a group of friends and you have each other’s backs. That is what has changed so dramatically in our culture, especially for girls.  The “strong independent” message has been translated into “abandon each other”.  Boys still seem to understand the concepts of loyalty and unity and that when your friends are about to make really bad choices, you step in and use whatever tools you have to prevent that from happening.  Mockery, aggression, insults, whatever – you keep each other safe.

How did young women come to lose that aspect of their own culture?  When I think of the Rehteah Parson’s case, in particular, what strikes me as so unbelievable is that she was with a girlfriend who could see that Rehteah was about to make a really, really bad decision, and who knew Rehteah was really, really drunk, and she just left her there to face the consequences.  Now, in fairness to the girlfriend, she did return to the house later with her own mother to try and persuade Rehteah to leave, but reportedly, to no avail.

I’m sorry, but what?!?!?!

A grown woman, the mother of one of Rehteah’s friends just left her there?

A young, drunk teenager is having sex with multiple men and gosh, I’ll just let her get on with it, then?

Unfuckingbelievable.

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2013/04/26/christie-blatchford-why-there-will-never-be-a-case-against-the-rehtaeh-parsons/

It’s not like I went to some prissy Christian highschool where the girls spent their time crocheting baby clothes for the local preemie unit (although we did that, too). We experimented with drugs and alcohol and made out with boys and dressed inappropriately in clothes we had to hide from our parents, but we never, ever just abandoned each other when dicey situations came up.

When the time comes, that is what I plan to teach my daughters, in particular.  When Pinkie is at a party and something like the Rehteah Parson’s situation is happening, you do NOT leave that girl.  You call me, you call your Dad, you call an adult to come and help you.  And I plan on letting my daughter’s friends know that in the horrifying case where it is MY daughter who is loaded out of her mind and about to do something really stupid that she will deeply regret, you do NOT leave her.  You call us.

I honestly think it’s pointless to try and convince kids not to drink underage and not to experiment with their sexuality and not to do all the “forbidden” things, because all that does is shut down communication.  If your kids know they are not allowed to drink alcohol and will be severely punished for doing so, they are not going to call you for help when they find themselves blind drunk at a frat party.

And the consequences of that are just too severe. One moment of poor decision making can be broadcast to every person you know or will ever meet, and that’s just too harsh a punishment.

I firmly believe that parents are not and should not be their kid’s friends, but that doesn’t mean we can’t protect our children.  I’m still a few years away from needing to negotiate parties and curfews, and it may very well be that when I step into the reality of teenage life, I am going to change my mind about all of this.

Maybe.

But one thing is certain: when twelve year old girls are making amateur porn because no one is watching over them, you can be damn sure I’ll be watching.

Privacy is something you earn, when you’ve shown repeatedly, that you can make good decisions. That usually happens after you’ve made a whole bunch of bad decisions.

But there’s bad decisions and then there’s bad decisions.

Twelve year olds dancing naked for voyeurs on the internet.

Jesus.

The teenage years are gonna be scary.  Any advice for me?

Lots of love,

JB

79 Responses to “What hell is this? The brave new world we have bequeathed our children is more frightening than I imagined, and the remedy is gonna make me one of the most hated moms on the block. Boo fucking hoo.”

  1. moseszd September 24, 2013 at 23:19 #

    We had a problem with a young boy (7 years old*) who came over to our house and went to some porn sites on my daughter’s computer. It wasn’t in her room, but was in the den where I don’t normally hang-out.

    She got pretty upset and let me know as soon as he left. He was, of course, banned from the house for life though I never explained why to his single mother.

    One change we made after this incident is that now all of our computers are in the front room which is a relatively high-traffic area. Not because we don’t trust our daughter, but after Adam the Porn Dog did his thing, I decided there was no way I was going to be unaware of what my daughter’s friends do on the Internet while they’re at my house.

    And this includes the computers of my wife and myself. What’s good for the children is good for us.

    * He got this habit from his teenage brother. Figures.

  2. Tunga September 24, 2013 at 23:57 #

    I’ve only skimmed the comments so apologies if I am repeating advice given earlier.

    Having a frank discussion about the consequences of choices (and submitting to peer pressure is a choice) doesn’t shatter innocence. I’ve read most of your entries and I know JB that you are a parent that takes preparation for the real world very seriously. At 12, a discussion about the consequences of choices, and the power of peer pressure is age appropriate. Your daughter hasn’t entered the rebellious teenage stage but that phase of trying to grow apart and establish an independent identity can start at any time now. More importantly it can start at any time for one or more of her friends.

    I’d recommend starting that conversation with a discussion about the teenage phase of rebellion. Explain that it’s normal, that you and Mr. JB expect it. That nothing she does will surprise the two of you during that phase. That you love her even when she’s trying to establish new boundaries in the relationship between you.

    It’s important that Pinky know her feelings are normal, but it also plants the seed that her choices aren’t going to really drive you away and create the distance she’ll instinctively crave. It may sound like an odd message, but from my own personal experience growing up, knowing that what I contemplated doing wasn’t going to have the “piss my mom off” effect I wanted, short circuited that whole process. I still developed a healthy distance emotionally without doing the sort of bad things with nasty consequences that I at first considered looking for that emotional payoff. Plus, I can’t see any downside at all to letting your daughter know that you love her that much. It’s important to plant that idea early, before she enters that rebellious phase so it isn’t tuned out as parental noise etc.

    Such a conversation also naturally segues into a discussion of peer pressure. Explaining that it’s not just normal for Pinky to feel that way, but that all the kids her own age do feel that way too, or will feel that way eventually. When other kids, even her friends want to do things, or pressure Pinky to do things her parents wouldn’t approve of, she’ll know why. She’ll have a good foundation to resist the temptation and be more likely to intervene for a friend about to make a terrible mistake. Because Pinky will have learned from you, that it’s not going to have the consequence desired. Explaining factors like a child of a single mother’s need for male approval and bad decisions that spring from that, are probably beyond Pinky’s frame of reference right now, as she has two loving parents and so it would be hard to relate. But I think having a discussion about normal rebellion will give her the tools to deal with the situation even without a firm understanding of the other kid’s motivation.

    This leads to the final point I think it’s important for a young person about to transition toward adulthood to understand. That all choices have consequences that we cannot always see in advance. That parents, even loving parents like yourselves can’t protect their child from all the consequences of their actions no matter how much you would like to. So it’s important that Pinky know that it’s o.k. to refuse to do something, until she understands and is willing to bear the consequences of her choices. That when another person pressures her to do something, that other person doesn’t have to bear the consequences of the decision to do it, only she does.

    All that may seem like a lot for a 12 year old to handle, but I don’t think it is. I think modern society has lost sight of the fact that a couple centuries ago, with less education and no social safety net, society at large expected 14-15 year olds to be adults, to even start getting married and be parents. So 12 in my opinion isn’t too early to start understanding consequences and responsibilities.

    Just some thoughts, I hope it helps in some way JB, lots of love for all your hard work.

    • C September 25, 2013 at 15:42 #

      Wow… I don’t really ever read here, but I followed a link… and all I can say is I hope I remember this comment in 8 years when my children start going through this…

      Because all the fears and terrors I have of raising teenagers now-a-days were just put in their rightful place.

  3. sunshinemary September 25, 2013 at 01:13 #

    One of our older daughters’ best friends comes from a single mother home, and the rule is that she can come to our house but our daughter can’t go there. The mother was furious when our daughter innocently said that to her (we had to have a conversation about not repeating everything mom and dad say), and I was sorry to offend her, but that’s just the way it is. My advice is that you are doing the right thing by forbidding your children to play at the homes of single mothers, but have a talk with your kids first about not mentioning that fact so that you don’t have to deal with an angry single mother who’s not used to anyone judging her.

  4. Dominic September 25, 2013 at 01:19 #

    Intellectually, I can see how unfair that is. Emotionally, I don’t give a fuck. Sorry, kid. But my kids come first.

    Nope, intellectually it makes perfect sense. If I may steal a quote from Zippy Catholic:

    One of the things that modern people who hate stereotypes don’t comprehend is that information costs money.

    Thus, Information gathering cost resources, money and time to accumulate. And since no one on earth has infinite time or resources to determine in exactly detail what a person is “really” like, and as a busy mother I’m sure you don’t have time to do extensive background checks on every child who wants to play with your daughter, generalisations and stereotypes are necessary “cost-efficient” information processing mechanisms for weeding out the wheat from the tares.

    Sure, it is not perfect and necessarily includes a margin of error. But after a certain differential point, the cost to information ratio increases exponentially and it is simply not worth the astronomical amount of resources one needs to spend just to acquire that smidgen of information.

    I’m sure it offends the educated literati to no end to learn that the acquisition of truth and enlightenment is not the exalted spiritual endeavor they imagine it to be actually requires all too earthly resources entangled with all too material considerations. But welcome to the real world I guess.

    • Dominic September 25, 2013 at 01:21 #

      Sorry, I forgot to put the end block quote at the end of Zippy Catholic’s sentence, after the “information costs money”, can you edit it for me? Thanks. :)

      • Exfernal September 29, 2013 at 09:46 #

        “I’m sure it offends the educated literati to no end to learn that the acquisition of truth and enlightenment is not the exalted spiritual endeavor they imagine it to be actually requires all too earthly resources entangled with all too material considerations.”

        An argument for satisficing and exercising the right to rational ignorance? Generally correct. Yet… in personally important matters, isn’t it better to make an informed decision than an ignorant one? The ability to read Wikipedia articles is hardly “exalted” or ever less “spiritual”.

        Gathering information on any subject was never easier than in the age of Internet that we are living in. The problem isn’t that too little information is available, but TOO MUCH. On the other hand, using the Bible as the main source of guidance regardless of how tenuous its connection with the actual situation seems equally counterproductive. An example – various religious objections to transfusion of blood, stem cell therapy, or organ transplants. How sound and relevant are they, in general?

  5. Emcee September 25, 2013 at 01:30 #

    This blog will be very interesting to look back on if I ever – stars forbid – become a father. This is all an intriguing look into parenthood.

  6. Mina September 25, 2013 at 01:53 #

    Much as the manosphere made of staying away from batshit crazy horse women recently, my girls were both in the US Pony Club starting at 9 years old until they were 19 years old. Most of their primary friends were other pony clubbers. All farm kids, all horse kids, lots of wholesome, outdoor activities as well as being a competitive team sport. Virtually none of these kids had trouble with sex, alchohol or drugs. None. IMO: There’s a lot to be said for getting your pre-teen daughter into riding lessons.

  7. Marlo Rocci September 25, 2013 at 02:52 #

    I’ve always told parents that having a computer in a kid’s bedroom is like letting every pedo on the planet stare through the bedroom window. It’s always a bad idea. Sadly, this advice has a technological limit that’s already been reached.

    What do you do when the smartphone is just as good as a computer, which they already are?

    What do you do when the next smartphone is the size of a wristwatch, which Samsung already released?

    As a computer geek, I would love to offer you some words of advice, but you are already seriously, seriously screwed. There are too many electronic eyes too many places to count.

    The only bulwark against this is the behavior of the girls themselves, which is not going to improve until we start giving the real punishments for bad behavior. We need to stop seeing them as victims and start offering real consequences for their actions. THIER actions. That has to be the starting point, the acknowledgement that THEY acted.

    • Emcee September 25, 2013 at 05:23 #

      Can’t you still get shitty non-smart phones? I was phone shopping the other day and I swore that I saw old flip-up cellphones.

      And since the parents are presumeably paying the phone bills… The kids will just have to deal with it.

      • Marlo Rocci September 25, 2013 at 11:57 #

        And what about her friend who has the latest iPhone? You can control what phone you buy your kid, but you cannot control what other parents do.

      • feeriker September 25, 2013 at 13:58 #

        It seems to be getting harder and harder to find any wireless plans that still support these. My wife and I have been with a pay-as-you-go provider for the last two years (we’re just cheap that way and really don’t need all the “bells and whistles” that the major carriers bundle into their overpriced services) and we’re both using Android phones now because even this PAYG provider discontinued supporting iDEN phones nearly a year ago. The trend seems to be inexorably moving toward Smart phones whether you want them or not. I occasionally still see a few iDEN phones in the stores, but they’re becoming fewer and farther between.

        Yes, this has some pretty frightening implications for parents who want to control their children’s access to the internet but who also want them to have their own mobile phone for emergencies.

      • angelowal September 25, 2013 at 14:37 #

        Yes, there are still just straight, cheap, cell phones – I have one. It’s internet capable, but I don’t buy that plan. Just because your kid wants a phone or ‘because all the other kids have one’ doesn’t mean you have to give them one – just say NO.

        • judgybitch September 25, 2013 at 14:43 #

          When I upgraded my iPhone, I gave Pinkie the old 4. It’s on a data plan, though, and can only be used with the wireless in our house.

          She has a passcode on it to stop her younger siblings from selling off valuable frogs in a game she plays, and she texts her friends, but she can’t use it outside our house. Obviously I know the passcode and she doesn’t hesitate to show me cute jokes or pictures she texts to her friends.

          It’s a really nice way for her to stay in touch with a friend who is France at the moment, and she texts her grandparents and uncles.

          Keeping her off a data plan has also kept her from being tethered to her phone. It only works in proximity to wireless, so there’s not much point carrying it with her at all times.

          I’m happy with how it’s working out so far.

          • Marlo Rocci September 26, 2013 at 12:55 #

            Do you check the iPhone her friends bring over? Nope? That’s the problem. You can police your daughter’s technology, but you have a limited reach regarding her friends and classmates.

            Just make sure you occasionally update “don’t take nude selfies” talk with her from time to time.

  8. Modern Drummer September 25, 2013 at 03:42 #

    I’ve got no advice for you, JB,it sounds like you’re doing everything right.
    I will say that it really pisses me off that some guys do this because taking advantage of young emotionally vulnerable girls is sick to say the least. Not to mention it gives the feminists ammo to bang the “male=bad female=victim” drum. This is what our fearless leaders can use to say the State needs more control of the web which is then used to control even more stuff on the web,like speech. Stuff like this is exactly what our feminist/Orwellian controllers will use as a reason to censor or outright shut down free speech ie. speech that doesn’t comply to the feminist/politically correct narrative. I heard a politician only a few days ago say we need an Internet more like China’s. They will use hate speech concerns or say “it is to protect the children” and the American public will fall in line like sheep.

  9. MaccAodh September 25, 2013 at 06:18 #

    My advice? Be computer savvy. My parents could barely set the time on their VCR (which they still have), so when it came time to get the Internet, they left it to me. I set up the content-blocker myself – meaning I had effectively unlimited access to porn and anything else since I was 13, even though my parents were convinced it was all cordoned off. Thankfully, it was early enough in the history of cyberspace that I couldn’t get into any real trouble (you had to really know what you were about to get into the crazy stuff, and social media barely existed). If my folks had known just a little more about computers, they could have kept me out of the early chat rooms, away from the porn, and whatever else. With so much else out there these days, you should at least be able to handle content blockers.

    You’re right about the way to approach drugs and alcohol. My folks did the same for me – “If you’re drunk, stoned, or hurt, just call us – we’ll come get you and straighten everything out later. We just want you safe.” I only needed to call them once, and they handled it very well. I would not have hesitated to call again if I needed it.

    I can’t help much with peer pressure. I was a nerdy, introverted kid who got picked on or beat up a lot before my big growth spurt, but that had some upsides. One of those is that by the time high school rolled around, I didn’t really care about fitting in. Refusing to partake in drugs isn’t so hard once you’ve refused to give up lunch money a few times. Maybe that’s unique to me; either way, I can’t say how to replicate it for your kid, other than to support her when she stands up for herself (kind of a no-brainer).

  10. Sir_Chancealot September 25, 2013 at 15:23 #

    Judgybitch,

    Look up a piece of software called “Cyberpatrol”.

    It allows you to set ALL KINDS of limits on internet activity. Not only that, if you wish, you can monitor ALL traffic, IM’s, etc. It’s very good software. It’s like $50 a year, and you can put it on up to 3 PCs (if I remember right).

    The only way I know to remove it (outside of the uninstall, which requires a password), is some heavy hacking that will take several hours, and likely break the box. As far as I know, there are only 2 ways to bypass it: with a proper password, or by booting with a different OS (via CD/DVD/USB).

    If you live in the states, your friend can call the FBI, or your local state police. They take those kinds of things VERY seriously.

  11. LostSailor September 25, 2013 at 21:12 #

    Should Daisy call Child Services?

    Probably, just based on SingleMom’s response. Perhaps a run-in with Child Services will snap her out of her very dangerous and seeming non-existent parenting skills. Not to mention that Peaches induced Pansy to join in–how many other of her little friends will be introduced to the pleasures of producing child porn.

    Daisy should probably also call the police, since that the “considerably older men” were and are doing is a serious crime. If the local cops don’t think they can do anything, then kick it up to the next level, up to the national law enforcement if necessary.

    And I plan on letting my daughter’s friends know that in the horrifying case where it is MY daughter who is loaded out of her mind and about to do something really stupid that she will deeply regret, you do NOT leave her. You call us.

    Yes. This. I recently visited an old and dear college friend in Maine. She went through a difficult divorce but kept custody of her two boys who are now just over 20. She was left with few resources and still struggles. The boys are good kids, but the divorce did a lot of damage. The younger one has managed to turn himself around, lost a lot of weight (the whole family is quite large) and started to work out, finished a GED, and worked to save money for several lengthy “working” trips to Europe, instead of drinking at night and playing World of Warcraft by day, as his brother still does (though in talking with him, it seems he’s starting to realize that he, too, needs to make some serious changes in his life).

    But one thing my friend always insisted on was that she had an open door policy and knows all the boys friends well. And she’s made it clear to all of them that if they are in trouble or find themselves in a bad situation or even are drunk and need a ride home, they will call her, no matter what time of night. And they have. Both her boys and their friends. And it’s undoubtedly saved some lives.

  12. Ghost of 503 October 1, 2013 at 08:03 #

    Yeesh, and I used to get grounded for being online after my parents went to bed (Because cyber predators are going after 13 year old males playing Command & Conquer Renegade on dial-up at the only time the house won’t get called).

    But onto possible solutions, this was some grade-A parenting from this day and age. Parent-control-monitoring software is the way to go.

    I’d also… consider… reminding… SingleMom that stripping/masturbating on webcams for older male attention was sort of how Amanda Todd got started.

  13. Emma the Emo October 2, 2013 at 06:27 #

    I’ve never been a parent, but I’ve been a kid. I think my parents did well to restrict some things. But I wouldn’t want to relive those moments when I did something inappropriate and was made to feel dirty for doing it. There would be a way to restrict a child’s behavior without making the connection “sexual stuff = bad”. Else you’re inviting sexual hangups into their adult life.

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