Some women are totally clueless about their own bodies. Obviously, that makes men terrorists. New heights in utter idiocy.

2 Sep

Let’s start with this.

terrorism

I’m……

I can’t……

WHAT?!?

Is that a typo?  She meant IGNORANCE, right?  She just has one fucked up autocorrect.  IGNORANCE is having sex your whole adult life, giving birth to six children and never having an orgasm.

This is terrorism:

wtc

It beggars belief the two things could be compared.  Orgasms and the deaths of thousands of people. Wow.  Just wow.

One of those moments where I can’t think of a single thing to say that doesn’t involve advocating beating the crap out someone.  So I’ll say nothing….

I like the six children thing a lot.  Which countries have average birthrates over 6.00?

Niger                     7.03

Mali                       6.25

Somalia                                6.17

Uganda                                6.06

Burkina Faso      6.00

Burundi is pretty close, coming in at 5.99, and Zambia gets close with 5.81, so let’s include them.

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2127rank.html

africa

So it’s just those nasty black African men who are terrorists?  I’m kind of disappointed that artist Sophia Wallace didn’t paint ALL men as terrorists because women don’t know how to masturbate, but we can count on feminism to single out bloodcurdling black men for special treatment, can’t we?

Six babies!  No orgasms!  A life of sex!  Terrorism!  Save me from the black men in Africa!

men

Sophia Wallace, you see, apparently took off her Klan robes long enough to come up with a clever little art project called “Cliteracy”, designed to convince women several things simultaneously:

cliteracy

Our sex organs are bigger and better than men’s.  Yee-haw!

size

Women are really good at masturbating.  Double yee-haw!

masturbation

Women are entitled to pleasure.  Well, duh.  We’re entitled to everything!

enititled

The right of every individual citizen to vote in elections is turned into a lie if we don’t talk about women’s sexual pleasure.

democracy

I’m not sure how that works, but if we can believe that failing to reach orgasm is terrorism, why not accept that the same situation leads to the corruption of democracy?  Once the earth is flat, does it really matter where the dragons be?

dragons

No really.  I’m not making this up.

Though the project may seem limited to the discussion about women’s bodies and female sexuality, Wallace insists that it’s really much, much bigger than that.

Not only is the project for everyone (“I love seeing men standing up for the clit,” Wallace says, adding that this is a conversation that liberates people of all genders), but she says that the clitoris can be seen as a “metaphor for freedom, body sovereignty and citizenship.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/28/cliteracy_n_3823983.html#slide=2852310

Pop Quiz:  who can explain the anatomy of a male orgasm?  The actual physical mechanics of it?  I’m sure we have all noticed that a male orgasm is almost always accompanied by a discharge of fluids that, depending on the circumstances can lead to laundry, a baby, a rejuvenating facial or a meal, but aside from that, who can explain exactly how it works?

Not me.  I really don’t know. There are some muscle contractions involved that result in extreme pleasure and force the discharge from the tip of a man’s penis, but other than that, fucked if I know how it all works.  What muscles are involved?  How deep into a man’s body do the contractions go?  Do the testicles contract?

I dunno.

Don’t really care, either.

Seriously, who gives a shit?  I know how to produce one, and take pleasure in doing so, but other than that, I’m afraid I’m not dick-literate.  I’ll bet the majority of men aren’t particularly dick-literate either, and can’t describe in anatomical detail how their own pleasure works. Again, who cares?  I can’t describe digestion in any particular detail, nor have I ever come across a situation where my life depended on distinguishing the transverse colon from the ileum (and yes I had to google “digestive system” to even come up with those words).

So what?

As long as I know how to eat, what difference does it make?

“Cliteracy” as a concept seems to accept as a baseline that women don’t know a single thing about their own bodies, and if they do, and fail to communicate that to sexual partners, it is somehow the partner’s fault.  Which is rather like saying it’s my partner’s fault if I don’t eat because I failed to tell him I wanted him to put the food in my mouth.  If I starve to death, well, that’s because he’s an asshole who never figured out that I expect to be hand-fed.

feeding

How do men discover their capacity for orgasm?  Ha, ha, I’m just kidding.  We all know the answer to that.  They wait until some willing woman comes along and shows them how it all works.  And if that never happens….well, they are just lost little duckies, with no sovereignty over their own bodies, no freedom, no hope, no future.

duck

I’ll just wait for my Princess to come and show me how my penis works….said no 12 year old boy ever.

“Cliteracy” could have been an outstanding project if it had followed two simple guidelines:

Your pleasure is your own

You are responsible for discovering and communicating what you like and need

If “Cliteracy” had been aimed at WOMEN, without attacking or reducing men to clueless fumbling idiots, it might have gained my admiration.  But of course it had to be derailed with the standard feminist operating procedures of:

Accept no responsibility ever

Cast yourself as the victim

Blame men (black men if you can)

Claim unsupportable, absurdly exaggerated consequences

Assert feminism as the solution

It really amazes me that something as astonishing as dates that conflict by over 100 years make it past the editors at Huffington post.

“It’s appalling and shocking to think that scientifically, the clitoris was only discovered in 1998,” Wallace told The Huffington Post from her Brooklyn studio last week. “But really, it may as well have never been discovered at all because there’s still such ignorance when it comes to the female body.”

Again, WHAT?!?!?!

The clitoris was NOT discovered in 1998!  Two paragraphs later, the article contains the following:

…the true anatomy of the clitoris had actually appeared in scientific literature as long ago as the mid-1800s.

Either claim, quite frankly, is completely stunning.  The Kama Sutra is thought to have been composed somewhere between 400 and 200 CE, and it contains a wealth of positions dedicated to maximizing female pleasure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kama_Sutra

Édouard-Henri Avril painted a very famous depiction of cunnilingus in 1906, and many more erotic images that were used to illustrate novels like Fanny Hill. Female pleasure was no cultural mystery even in the modern era.

You can see the painting here (NSFW)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/7e/Detail_of_%C3%89douard-Henri_Avril_%2823%29.jpg

There is even some speculation that cunnilingus (or other method) assisted orgasm evolved as a sperm retention strategy so that men could be assured it was actually their own swimmers who claimed the podium, and not the sperm of some interloper the missus fancied for an afternoon of fun.

Female orgasm may play an important role in sperm competition…Men perform various behaviors to facilitate their partner’s orgasm, including vaginal penetration, cunnilingus, and manual vaginal or clitoral stimulation, and the induction method may affect the degree to which sperm is retained (Levin, 2001; Masters and Johnson, 1966; reviewed in King and Belsky, 2012).

http://www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP11405414.pdf

The idea that female orgasm is some new thing that men are deliberately ignoring for the purposes of punishing/oppressing women is completely laughable.

Here is the one, key slide that Wallace gets right, and in my opinion, it gets directly at the heart of things:

lying

The reason you are having bad sex ladies is because you are LYING.  Is that really so hard to figure out?  How in the name of god do you expect men to understand what gives you pleasure if you LIE to them about it?  How can any sane woman not understand that lying about what gives her pleasure will likely result in very little pleasure?

bark

Stop lying.  Assume some responsibility for your own pleasure.  Learn your own body.  Don’t blame men if you can’t even figure out how to give yourself an orgasm.  Learn how to communicate, and if you can do that without barking out orders like a Marine Drill Sergeant, so much the better.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

70%

The idea that 70% of women are going sexually unfulfilled strikes me as another pile of steaming bullshit.  You know what leads me to that belief?

The popularity of Brazilian waxes and other grooming of pubic hair.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/features/the-politics-of-pubic-hair-why-is-a-generation-choosing-to-go-bare-down-there-8539673.html

Older feminists like to posit that women groom and/or remove their pubic hair in response to either the pornification of culture or men’s uninhibited pedophilic tendencies.  The latter always makes me laugh, because I’m sure all those ladies only date men with beards, right?  No preference for men who exhibit that pre-pubescent look of no facial hair?

shaving

Fucking hypocrites.

It’s actually rather simple to explain why younger women in particular keep their ladybits neat and tidy:  it’s because no one likes hair in their food.

hairball

http://judgybitch.com/2012/11/27/brazilians-are-just-good-manners-theres-nothing-worse-than-hair-in-your-food/

And here’s a hint, just for the lads:  always look at a woman’s feet.  A woman who has neat, pretty, groomed feet is likely to be well-groomed everywhere else, too.

feet

There.  I just made y’all a bit more cliterate.

You’re welcome.

Lots of love,

JB

76 Responses to “Some women are totally clueless about their own bodies. Obviously, that makes men terrorists. New heights in utter idiocy.”

  1. Liz September 3, 2013 at 12:19 #

    I’ve always had ugly fat, sorry. They’re like the equivalent of Dorian Grey’s painting.

    Everything else looks awesome. It’s genetic, I blame my mom.

    BTW, gentlemen need to keep their goodies neat, too.

    • Liz September 3, 2013 at 12:21 #

      Ugly fat! Hahah! Typo that. Ugly FEET

      • Jim March 12, 2014 at 23:13 #

        Ha ha. Well too much fat can be ugly too. :P

  2. Goober September 3, 2013 at 19:31 #

    Further proof that the only pleasure these women are looking for in life is selfish pleasure.

    Pleasure of motherhood and raising kids?

    Bah! Fuck that unimportant shit!

    How many orgasms have you had?

  3. aspasialibertine September 3, 2013 at 22:16 #

    Older feminists like to posit that women groom and/or remove their pubic hair in response to either the pornification of culture or men’s uninhibited pedophilic tendencies. The latter always makes me laugh, because I’m sure all those ladies only date men with beards, right? No preference for men who exhibit that pre-pubescent look of no facial hair?

    Ha! No kidding! Case in point, I mentioned my love for hairy men to a “sex-positive” feminist, one who reposted that stupid shit you tear apart in your column and she shuddered visibly. Yet she also goes along with the “no female pubic hair=promotion of pedophilia” idiocy. UHMMMM……

    • RS September 4, 2013 at 00:25 #

      You know the world is upside down when people prefer hairy women and hairless men.

  4. acantholycosa September 4, 2013 at 18:10 #

    Sex should be about communication anyway.

    Also, could people PLEASE stop cutting baby boys at birth? I know a lot of people think that cutting girls and women is worse, but cutting anyone’s genitals is downright evil. I think I will blog about that and irritate people. *goes and does that right now*

  5. Dr. Weezil September 5, 2013 at 16:55 #

    Bullshit anti-woman “feminism.”

    Listen, I guarantee you that if you even suggested to this person that a woman can have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation, she’d try to murder you.

    This is not at all about pleasure, love, and really good, healthy sexuality; it’s about “who’s dick is bigger” that’s all.

  6. Misguided Child September 14, 2013 at 06:05 #

    From the book SEX AS NATURE INTENDED IT

    http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com/

    “During circumcised sex, a woman is much less likely to achieve vaginal orgasm. How much less likely? Kristen O’Hara’s study found women were almost 5 times less likely to achieve vaginal orgasm when the man had a circumcised penis.”

    I know American society doesn’t give one flying fuck about men. But maybe MALE GENITAL MUTILATION could be outlawed if women realized it was very bad for them. In other words use the selfish argument.

    Top 10 Ways Circumcised Penis Harms Women

    http://top10wayscircumcisedpenisharmswomen.com/

    Recomended reading

    How to Satisfy A Woman Every Time

    Sex As Nature Intended It

    Semper Fidelis

  7. Jim March 12, 2014 at 23:17 #

    Hey JB, how would well groomed feet determine if the rest of her is well groomed?

    • judgybitch March 12, 2014 at 23:21 #

      Pretty feet are just a clue that she cares about grooming. All of it.

      Just a guess.

      No guarantees.
      :P

      • Jim March 16, 2014 at 02:53 #

        Maybe so. I guess if you’re going to go to all the trouble of grooming your feet then you’ll be more likely to take care of the rest. If that were true in every case that would sure make it easy. lol.

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