The genius of women, or the capacity to love others more than you love yourself.

5 Feb

baby

So yesterday, we talked about the fact that men invent and produce almost all of the really useful things that make our modern lives so very pleasant. All of the major revolutions in human history have been dreamt up and accomplished by men: the printing press, the textile loom, antibiotics, anaesthetic, cars and computers.

evolution

Throughout history, women have contributed very little to the great leaps forward in human achievement.  Oh come on, that’s not even controversial.  Even Caitlin Moran (I can’t help it – she’s so cute!) acknowledges that women really haven’t done a whole lot in terms of building bridges and discovering nuclear fusion. She’s worth quoting at length.

caitlin

Even the most ardent historian, male or female—citing Amazons and tribal matriarchies and Cleopatra—can’t conceal that women have basically done fuck all for the last 100,000 years. Come on—let’s admit it. Let’s stop exhaustingly pretending that there is a parallel history of women being victorious and creative, on an equal with men, that’s just been comprehensively covered up by The Man. There isn’t. Our empires, armies, cities, artworks, philosophers, philanthropists, inventors, scientists, astronauts, explorers, politicians and icons could all fit, comfortably into one of the private karaoke booths in SingStar. We have no Mozart; no Einstein; no Galileo; no Ghandi. No Beatles, no Churchill, no Hawking, no Columbus. It just didn’t happen.

 

Nearly everything so far has been the creation of men—and a liberal, right-on denial of it makes everything more awkward and difficult in the long run. Pretending that women have had a pop at all this before but ultimately didn’t do as well as the men, that the experiment of female liberation has already happened but floundered gives strength to the belief that women simply aren’t as good as men, full stop. That things should just carry on as they are—with the world shaped around, and honouring, the priorities, needs, whims, and successes of men. Women are over, without having even begun. When the truth is that we haven’t even begun at all. Of course we haven’t. We’ll know it when we have.

How To Be A Woman

This is where we disagree.  We haven’t begun?  On the contrary.  We began a long time ago.  What we are doing now is failing.  We are sacrificing our genius on the altar of an ideology that explicitly and gleefully denies women the opportunity to achieve our greatest possible success: to be the mother of a person (likely a man) who will take a leap of faith that benefits all of humankind.

This is a human infant:

newborn

We have no gender neutral pronoun in English, and I hate “they” and absolutely REFUSE to call a baby “it”, so I’m going to call this baby “him”.  Get over it.

This little baby is born helpless, but his entire anatomy and psychology is a set of expectations.  His skin is alive with receptors that will trigger the release of hormones making him feel safe and content. His skin is an expectation of touch. His brain is wired to detect the smell and sound and presence of his mother. He knows her heartbeat and the sound of her breathing.  His brain is an expectation that he will be with her.  He has reflexes that cause his hands and feet to grip, and he will suck anything you put in his mouth.  His reflexes are an expectation that he will cling to his mother and he will feed from her breasts.

breastfeeding

Everything about this little guy demands the presence of his mother.  He will benefit from an extended family and his father will become a person of critical importance, but when he is born, he expects and needs his mother.  He cannot live easily without her.

And he knows it.  He will cry when they are separated.  He will use all of his resources to summon her back.  And she will respond to his cries.  Her breasts will leak milk and her heart will pound and she will feel frantic to get to him.  Her body is also wired to care for him.

crib

Working outside the home and leaving a baby in the care of others for long periods of time (most of an infant’s waking life) is a disaster not just for the baby, but for the woman and all of humanity by extension. Those babies are being denied what they NEED to grow into fully functioning, stable, loving human beings capable of caring for others and themselves. Modern ideas about keeping babies isolated in cages in dark rooms and leaving them to sob until they collapse with despair are not just disgusting and cruel and stupid, they are violently inhumane.  A human infant is not designed to be treated like a pariah, left alone for long periods or separated from his mother.

A baby left alone on the savannah, wailing inconsolably, would be a dead baby very quickly.

lion

Genius begins and ends with a loving mother.  And loving mothers create daughters capable of becoming loving mothers themselves.  That is our genius.

Not every woman wants, or is capable of being a affectionate mother, and natural selection usually weeds those women out quite nicely.  A woman who would rather be out hunting should be free to do that, and whatever quirk in her neurology that makes her uninterested in reproducing will die with her.  Those genes will not spread.  The genes for loving, attentive, invested mothering WILL spread, since those are the women most likely to succeed in bringing their children to adulthood.

And that, too, is genius.

Modern feminism started by explicitly stating that women should not be allowed to care for their own children.

simone

“No woman should be authorized to stay at home to raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.”

Simone de Beauvoir

http://books.google.ca/books?id=iv4-Qy82BJ0C&pg=PA397&lpg=PA397&dq=no+woman+should+be+authorized&source=bl&ots=p2M7YGKGx6&sig=kazRHlm7C19yE4AIQ0RCdB30FpU&hl=en&sa=X&ei=PB8RUbfnEKPkyQHe-4CwDA&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q=no%20woman%20should%20be%20authorized&f=false

What Simone wanted is to FORCE women to give up their own genius, and start competing with men.  Try to match them, Nobel Prize for Nobel Prize.

Well, that worked.  Less than 2% of prizes awarded to women.  Way to go, ladies.

When female genius, defined in male terms, rears up, it has usually found expression and recognition.  One can find women in every area of human achievement, but there are very few of them.  The canon of great writers, for example contains only a few women, because only a few women have matched the talents of male writers.  But when they do, they are acknowledged and celebrated and that’s a good thing.

http://judgybitch.com/2013/01/26/it-makes-me-laugh-when-feminists-love-jane-austen-because-im-pretty-sure-she-would-spit-on-them-politely-of-course/

But for most women, genius comes in the form of a tiny human being who needs to learn to be human, and in being human, achieves greatness that benefits us all.

cradle

The hand that rocks the cradle is indeed the hand that rules the world.  Men create the world, and women create the men.  It’s really quite ingenious.

http://jezebel.com/5981558/most-women-would-rather-kick-their-husbands-to-the-curb-than-be-a-housewife

It’s completely amazing how many women are starting to realize that being at home and raising children is a LUXURY, and one that an older generation of women has simply thrown away.  Being at home full time is not drudgery or unfulfiling or stultifying or oppressive.

The times, they are a-changin’

Now let’s hope the younger generation of women realize that the privilege of being at home, supported by a man, comes with a price.  Personally, I think Suzanne Venker nails it:  be nice, cook and have sex.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/women-urged-be-nice-cook-and-have-sex/story-e6freuy9-1226570529638

Yep.  That pretty much sums it up.

Lots of love,

JB

40 Responses to “The genius of women, or the capacity to love others more than you love yourself.”

  1. James Williams February 5, 2013 at 17:14 #

    I love your free flowing style. You write as you talk and that is a gift in itself.

  2. M3 February 5, 2013 at 17:26 #

    Brilliant!

  3. Erudite Knight February 5, 2013 at 19:23 #

    Your title is basicly all that needs to be said.
    So now we are left with the pain that feminism basicly HATES others more than themselves.

  4. Odysseus February 5, 2013 at 20:23 #

    These last couple of post’s bring the James Brown, “It’s a Man’s World” song to mind. I agree that it doesn’t mean anything without a woman.

  5. Mik February 5, 2013 at 22:45 #

    Damn, great great read. One of the best ive read in a while. Pls keep up the good work.

    • judgybitch February 5, 2013 at 22:56 #

      Thank you all for your kind words!

  6. Mik February 5, 2013 at 22:56 #

    Damn, great great read. One of the best ive read in a while. “The hand that rocks the cradle is indeed the hand that rules the world. Men create the world, and women create the men. It’s really quite ingenious”. This just sums it all up perfectly.

  7. Kristie February 6, 2013 at 03:23 #

    have to say, I was sent to your site from another blog, Feminism is a Hate group. John directed me here and I was greatly surprised and delighted that I am not the only woman out there with common sense. But I guess its not that common anymore. Loved the article and cannot wait to read more!

    • James Williams February 14, 2013 at 12:05 #

      I complement you for your ability to look beyond the current orthodoxy that pro-feminist society is presenting.

  8. dekimski February 6, 2013 at 07:50 #

    Spot on, and brilliantly concluded.

  9. Dean Esmay February 6, 2013 at 16:12 #

    This may be a little oversimple. A little. There is significant evidence that the father being around is vital to baby’s security and mom’s happiness and sanity is necessary from pregnancy through birth. Study of hunter/gatherer and primitive agriculturalist societies show spend more time with the little ones than they do in the “traditional” (whose tradition, when?) arrangement where Dad is simply gone all day at work and only comes home at night exhausted, and the kids are better adjusted when Dad is pretty much a constant presence and not just an exhausted lump who’s there at night.

    Also, from everything I can gather, women working in some capacity beyond “housecleaning” has always been the norm. There was a reason 1950s housewives were often bored: with modern conveniences -they didn’t have that much to do- compared to their grandmothers and great-grandmother’s who’d spent their days in the fields, milking cows, preserving foods, threshing wheat, working a loom, and so on. And, with their men away -all day-, they frequently had no company except children, which most people I daresay can go bonkers with if that’s the -only- contact they have. Historically in most societies, even if Dad’s off working the field’s he’s a holler or a ring of the bell away, the little ones can join him in the fields after only a few years if they want to or are needed, etc.

    If you read Erin Pizzey’s memoir “This Way to the Revolution” (which you should), she was very excited initially about the Women’s Movement because -she was bored out of her mind- and felt trapped in a house alone with nothing but kids for company. But, she did not want to abandon her children for a career, she just wanted to be -fucking doing something in addition to- helping keep up the house, which she found mind-numbing.

    I often think this is where feminism truly went astray. You had bored frustrated women who either didn’t want to be housewives (which is an OK choice you should be free to make) or housewives who were bored because they didn’t have as much to do as their great-grandmothers did… and instead of getting creative and finding ways to work together and do things, THEY DECIDED THEY WERE OPPRESSED BY THEIR HUSBANDS.

    That’s where the evil began I think. Not in telling women it’s OK to have a career if that’s what you really want, not in saying women should have more choices, but in telling them they were oppressed, that the Evil Patriarchy was crushing them, and in telling them they HAD TO want outside-the-house careers to be fulfilled.

    If I had to guess, I’d say that if we stopped pressuring women and men to conform to an artificial ideal, about 80% of women would choose to stay home and do as their great-great-grandmothers did: work in the house, maybe part-time out of the house, think about maybe even a full-time career after the kids were grown… but no. We’ve told an entire generation of women, maybe two generations, they’re oppressed and can only find fulfillment in “career” by which they mean “away from the kids.”

    I do think we may evolve to something better though. I think we’re seeing more and more career choices where dad can be closer to home, and mom can get the hell out of the house when the kids are driving her nuts, more easily. But first we have to shed these notions of “oppressive patriarchy” and all that rubbish.

    As a man I always fought against the pressure that I should be “sole breadwinner.” The pressure of that was horrific, especially in an economy when anyone can lose their job at any moment. Being told to “man up” and “compete” for the rest of my life or be a loser and a failure–that’s no good either.

    Am I making sense? I do know I ramble.

    • judgybitch February 6, 2013 at 16:17 #

      Makes perfect sense. The Industrial Revolution had far more to do with destroying the family, by removing fathers from the home, than anything else. But rather than mitigating against the loss of the father, feminists decided to BLAME the father.

      How clever.

      And while I would never deny the importance of a father to an infant – skin to skin contact is vital for a baby, no matter who gives it – the reality is that mommy has the food. Baby needs her for a good long time and will be upset when they are separated.

  10. malcolm February 6, 2013 at 19:34 #

    I have always wondered why so many women fail to see that being a loving and responsible mother to a helpless child is the most important job in the world. I’m going to call my mom now, I’m no longer a helpless child, but she’s still my mom, and I will always need her advice.

  11. TMG February 6, 2013 at 22:53 #

    If younger generations of women want to enjoy having the choice to marry and stay at home, then they better get really loud really fast in their opposition to feminism. And if the present generations of women want younger women to have this choice, they’d better join in.

    Men are becoming fed up. And once a man realizes just how badly they are being treated by society and what a horrible decision marriage is, there really is no going back. Women can start offering sex and cooking all they want, it is not going to turn these men back into providers.

    For every Judgy B and Suzanne Venker in the world there are 1,000 women reveling in the misandry. And for every 1,000 women reveling in the misandry, there are 10,000 who couldn’t care less because they don’t see a personal benefit to themselves in opposing misandry.

    I don’t wish misfortune on any woman, but I am not going to shed one single tear if women in the future are left bereft of options to marry. Too bad so sad but too late.

    • judgybitch February 6, 2013 at 23:42 #

      Honestly, TMG, I think that’s coming.

      I really do.

      We shall see.

      • TMG February 6, 2013 at 23:57 #

        Hope springs eternal, but my prediction is that “No Good Men Left” cries will get louder, accompanied by “Not All Women Are Like That,” and concluded with “How could men let this happen to society?”

  12. realityforever February 16, 2013 at 11:32 #

    Unfortunately it’s too late for society to go back to the way it was. A “stay at home mother” is completely dependent on a MAN who is willing and able to afford such a creature. That pool of men shrinks just a little more every day as who? crowd the work place – women. If all women left the workforce tomorrow, I STILL wouldn’t want a stay at home wife or to be married at all. There would have to be DEEP, DEEP, RADICAL changes to divorce law to where bad behavior is punished, not rewarded for women.

    You have no idea what a nightmare all of this is for men. The only real option is to just avoid women completely- it’s just too risky and no one is lifting a finger to change this fucked up situation. So society becomes this horrible shithole because women still think they have something to prove. After all these years of Feminism they have proved something- that they’re not like men.

    It was all so stupid and unnecessary.

    • T September 20, 2013 at 23:48 #

      No, it’s legal immigrants from other countries and illegals taking our jobs.

      THAT’S the problem. Last year, 3 out of 4 jobs were won by LEGAL IMMIGRANTS. People, do something.

    • A Man December 23, 2013 at 07:29 #

      Seems you have some serious trust issues, and possibly paranoia fed by hanging out on the internet too much. I have three suggestions for you.

      1) Avoid internet forums, articles, blogs, and all other unnecessary internet activity, for three whole months.

      2) During that time, find a good therapist. (And maybe see a psychiatrist. If you are interested, read some books on attachment theory.)

      3) Start attending a moderately conservative church (preferably a large one, with a high population of single ladies in your age group). Make friends within the church community as you are able.

      If you do these things, I believe the pessimistic view of your situation may lift to the point where you might be able to fall in love with the right sort of woman. They do exist, I am married to one.

      • realityforever May 14, 2014 at 19:40 #

        No, my experience is based on real world experience, not from reading things on the internet other than the thousands of countless other horror stories of men I do not personally know. And church? Pfft. Are you kidding me? All churches in the U.S. caved to Feminism 20 years ago. They are nothing more than echo chambers for women to make them feel less guilt for all their horrible backstabbing, deceit and narcissism.

        I suggest YOU start investigating the actual laws involving divorce and VAWA and child support and the corrupt horror of it all. Simply sticking your head in the sand is what got us here in the first place- men like you who do nothing about evil and fool themselves.

  13. LJBiFed! April 1, 2013 at 16:55 #

    “He will cry when they are separated. He will use all of his resources to summon her back. And she will respond to his cries.”

    Not if she’s following the Ferber Method.

    New Moms: STOP taking advice from old white American male doctors on how to care for infants.

    They have Big Pharma’s well being in mind, NOT your baby’s.

  14. Erik Norén October 26, 2013 at 18:57 #

    Some people propose the pronoun “hen” in swedish which would translate to either hem or hir in english. Personally i think it’s silly but wanted to mention it.

  15. dust850 January 13, 2014 at 14:00 #

    Reblogged this on Medical School Trap.

  16. Meredith January 18, 2014 at 21:21 #

    I’m about a year late to the party but well said JB…. Well said. I often feel that this daycare situation is a terrible social experiment that is slowly and insidiously unravelling the very fabric of our society. So many disconnected people, so many sociopaths. Coincidence? On another note, are women so underachieved because of biology of because of a lack of (historical) opportunity? Have women as a whole failed to find some sort of productive momentum in science, art, etc? Also, I’d be interested on your thoughts about the cringeworthy phenomenon of “socialization.” I’m constantly being bombarded with absurd inquiries on how my baby will be properly “socialized” if he is bereft of daycare incarceration. Where did this originate? Who started this? Why do the masses keep propagating this nonsense?

  17. HaberdasherFetishist February 18, 2014 at 14:35 #

    “Now let’s hope the younger generation of women realize that the privilege of being at home, supported by a man, comes with a price. Personally, I think Suzanne Venker nails it: be nice, cook and have sex.”

    1. If her being nice to me is something I have to pay for, does that mean that I don’t have to be nice to her?
    2. Cooking? Fair enough.
    3. Sex as an obligation? Because I “pay her”?

  18. Adelle September 30, 2014 at 07:34 #

    I loved this. I have felt this way for many years despite having opted out of motherhood myself. Thank you!

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