Still thinking about that Daily Life article and I thought I would give MY six steps for raising a son in a world that doesn’t like little boys very much.
GET MARRIED AND STAY MARRIED. The most important thing a little boy needs is his DADDY. If you can’t get this step right, heaven help you and your son. All children need their fathers, but little boys in particular get chucked under the proverbial bus, loaded with single mothers demanding more money, more benefits, more handouts, more respect, more of everything they have not earned and do not deserve.
It’s a curious contradiction: feminism wants little boys to act like little girls (touching, hugging, kissing, crying, playing dress-up, use your words!) EXCEPT when it comes to breaking their little guy’s hearts by divorcing or walking away from their son’s father. In that case, be a man, little man! Suck it up and move on.
LET HIM PLAY VIOLENT GAMES. It’s a rare little boy who sees a stick and doesn’t turn it into a weapon. Little boys love bows and arrows, guns, knives, shields, helmets and every other artifact of war. And no, they don’t want to have a tea party with Pookie and CindyBear. They want to dig a trench and send Pookie to the Medevac chopper with some serious injuries. You’re dead, Pookie!
Violent video games are important to little boys for a number of reasons. Firstly, they give boys an outlet for their aggressions, which are perfectly natural and if you woke up this morning NOT speaking German, you should be able to perceive the usefulness of those aggressions. Video games also demand mastery. The programmers aren’t pleasant lunch ladies who will pat you on the head and let you proceed to the next level because “Good effort, Tommy”. Nope. Want to get to the next level in Call of Duty? Then get it right. All of it. There are no medals for showing up. Video games are an antidote to the idea that competition is bad and that mastery is immoral.
Another curious contradiction: feminism insists that cooperation is more valuable than competition, and that competitions should be engineered to benefit the weakest players (let’s pass a QUOTA for women on executive boards!). Women should be in every competition, watering it down and turning it into a cooperative effort, by force of law if necessary. Except for sports. Let’s keep sports segregated, because if women had to compete head to head against men in football and basketball and skiing and every other sport, there would be exactly ZERO female athletes left.
RESPECT HIS BODY. I don’t give a fuck what your imaginary friend thinks, you DO NOT mutilate your infant son’s penis. NOT EVER. If he grows up and decides he likes your imaginary friend and wants an imaginary friend of his own, well good for him! He can mutilate his own penis, then. HIS BODY, HIS CHOICE.
Let’s say it again: HIS BODY, HIS CHOICE!
RESPECT HIS MIND. Little boy’s minds do not work the same as little girl’s. Girls are happy to process visual data at an early age. They like cooperative play. They will sit quietly and listen to stories and follow instructions and cut and paste teddy bears onto the picnic board.
Little boys do not want to sit quietly. They want to run and scream and jump and discover and invent and tear things apart and put them back together again and kick and chase and jump on each other until someone cries. Eventually, they grow up and invent iPhones and space ships and microwaves and automobiles and pretty much every other useful thing we have on the planet.
There is no such thing as Attention Deficit Disorder or whatever other bullshit term is used to describe little boys being little boys. The school system needs to change to celebrate the energy and vitality of little boys, but it will take the PARENTS of those little boys to make it happen. You can start by REFUSING to drug your little boys. Drugs are bad, JUST SAY NO!
SHOWER HIM WITH KISSES! Despite their energy and their desire to turn every implement in your kitchen into a weapon, little boys have soft little hearts and they desperately need their mother’s love and kindness and validation. YOU will model the kind of woman he will eventually marry, so try and BE the loving wife you would wish for him. Take care of him, treat him gently, listen to him, give him tons of affection and feed him when he’s hungry. Not that different from how you should treat your husband.
CELEBRATE MEN. Create a home that welcomes and celebrates men. Have lots of books and pictures and toys and trains and cars and spaces that look like they were designed by and for men. Throw cushions and glass ornaments are fine for YOUR room, but your home should be a space that welcomes men. Treat your male friends and relatives with respect and courtesy and when the guys are outside on the back deck and need some cold beer, get it for them. And when your husband hands his son a glass with a sip of beer in it, go inside and shut the hell up. That little boy is HIS son, too.
LET HIM BE DIFFERENT. JudgyBitch has a ten year old daughter, PinkyPinkyPie and her best friend is a little guy I call AngelBoy. Their favourite pastime is to read aloud to one another and AngelBoy loves to braid PinkyPinkyPie’s waist length hair into elaborate creations he learns by watching internet tutorials. AngelBoy is exactly like his father, so he is growing up in a home with a mom and dad who understand him, love him and let him be who he is. Not every little boy will be a ball of screaming energy, and that’s fine. Some little boys quite naturally behave like little girls and that is perfectly okay. Respect your son for everything he is and he will grow up to respect himself, and the people around him.
Oh, one more thing. When he gets to be a teenager and starts spending a lot of time alone in his room, let your husband show him the best porn sites. He probably knows some good ones.
Lots of love,